Top 10 Reasons My Car Hates Me

10. The orange engine light o' doom keeps coming on.
09. The top coat is peeling off, making the car really fugly. As if being a matte gray isn't enough to make it fugly.
08. The sunroof leaked so much I had to have it sealed shut.
07. The heater does not work.
06. Neither does the air conditioner.
05. The driver side seat is falling apart.
04. The back interior by the back windshield is dry rotted.
03. The seat belt on the front passenger side won't stretch far enough to lock.
02. The bottom part of the windshield wiper fell off today in the pouring rain. I guess it was overworked.
01. It thinks the song Rusty Chevrolet is its motto