My Christmas Present To Myself

I know that it wasn't the most intelligent thing to do. I know that some people will yell at me for doing it, but a few minutes ago, I picked up my cell phone and hit that number I have on speed dial and said Merry Christmas to Fishy.

I told myself for the last week that I wasn't going to do that. That I was really going to put it all behind me, but sadly I caved. I had to say Merry Christmas to Fishy.

So around 7:30 I had a smile on my face from ear to ear, because I am the biggest Fishy fangirl out there. OK, it's possible that his actual girlfriend is a bigger fangirl, but I'll just ignore that right now, right?

Yup....33 going on 13 again...but oh well...







I wouldn't mind finding him under my tree this year.

I Did Something Stupid Yesterday

In my infinite stupidity, I put together a Christmas present for my Pickle DJ. Ok, for The Pickle DJ. Why? Because I haven't the brain I was given and because some part of me hopes that some little thing I do will see me forgiven or something like that so that we could be friends again.

Yes, I admit to still having a crush on him. I can't help that. Fishy is a pretty damn good looking guy, but I know that nothing will come of that ever. (I knew that from the beginning too, but no one will believe that) But for that brief time at the beginning of the year I thought I had a friend, and I have too few of those it seems.

But again, I made up a little Christmas stocking for Fishy and I won tickets on the Pickle last week, so I figured when I was picking them up, I'd drop off his present, which I did yesterday. Now I'm nervous. What if he doesn't like it? Part of his present was a green "fishy" ornament, the rest were a bunch of mix CDs that I made. What if doing this has offended.

I don't know why I worry if I've offended him so much. I've never been this way before. I also don't know why I just can't shut the radio off and forget I ever knew him in anyway. I imagine it's because I'm crazy. At least, I'm sure that's how he sees me.

~ I'm a sad sad bunny ~

An Episode Of Dorkalopeness

Something about the Fish, makes me turn from a normal 33 year old woman into the biggest dork ever.

Case in point: Today after agitating each other via email, one from me to him and one from him back. I'm ready to hunt him down and knock him upside his cute little head. All over one little song; The Monster Mash.

Not long after the email exchange, Fishy commits a tiny blunder on the air. Nothing to write home about. Nothing that if he would just shut his mouth, anyone would even notice. But no, that's not how the mind of the Fishy works. He proceeds to spend another 2 minutes going on about how you say or do things you'd usually do at inappropriate times. Uh, erm, Fishy you just said that the news would be up at 9:30. It wasn't as if the world was coming to an end.

As he's doing this, I'm getting agitated, because he's going on about NOTHING! So I pick up the phone and dial. Poor man, answered, and I told him there was no way I couldn't have called him on that little bit...and I asked him what kind of crack he'd been smoking. He assured me he hadn't done any of that...I'm not sure I believe him. Actually I do believe him, but I live to tease Fishy. It's fun.

So I tell him a funny story about mom, and how she says "are you free?" every time I call when I'm leaving work. There have been several times that she's done this and it hasn't been me.

I think I gave him a chuckle so that's good. Thus a dorkalope was born. I'm beginning to think that I'm the female version of Leonard from The Big Bang Theory..

Blah Blah Blah...Hopeless delusion about Fish...Blah Blah Blah.

I Have A Big Mouth

Gym Hottie was at Jack's today, looking stunning and being his usual vain self. I swear I've never seen a man examine himself in a mirror more than this guy. It really does take all the willpower I have not to walk up to him and say, "Hey sweetie, you're gorgeous you don't have to keep checking. If you ever turn not gorgeous, I'll let you know."

So today I'm leaving, I walk by him...and I see his pretty SAAB is parked 2 cars from mine. I get in mine and look up and there he is at his car. And here's where I turn into a dorkalope. I look up and say, "Hi gorgeous." Mind you, I'm in my car, but he turns around and looks. I don't know if he saw me or not but I'm pretty sure he heard me. I again mutter, "Yeah I said hi gorgeous." He looks again.

ARGH!

I have foot in mouth disease badly. I know next to nothing about this guy except that he's a stock broker, he looks almost as snazzy as Fishy in a suit, he drives a SAAB, and he's obsessed with possible zits, that I don't see, marring his beauty.

So now there's no way I'll ever be able to look him in the eye.

I wonder, is there an award for all the stupid/dorky thinks I do on a regular basis. (Kinda like telling Fishy again how spiffy he looked last weekend...and not just because I was kissing up...but because I really meant it)

All Hail The Queen Of The Dorkalopes

Well, I've gone and done it again. I've made a dorkalope of myself. A certain Fishy was sounding unusually perky this morning and I was insanely curious as to why, so after much deliberation, I picked up the phone and called to ask.

Why do I do things like this?

Oh yes, I forgot...I'm a dorkalope. In fact, I'm the Queen of the Dorkalopes. All other dorkalopes should bow before me.

I said bow before me, damn it!

It was one of those, it seemed like a good idea at the time things. You know, the kind of thing that usually gets me into trouble later, or makes the guy I'm crushing on get really annoyed with me. (Please let him not be annoyed with me)

However I had a brief moment of "I talked to Fishy" bliss before I realized that I was making a dorkalope of myself.

I wish there was something that could shock me before I did stupid things like this so that I could just not do them. Of course I would probably be a charred mess in 24 hours...but such is the life of the Queen of the Dorkalopes.

And This Is How My Morning Went

OK...let me just go on from the Yummy X 3 incident to about now. But let me first say that when I take Nyquil I should not be allowed to operate machinery or phones. It's safer that way.

1. I go downstairs to get my morning can of Coke and my mom, who is listening to Pickle, because my dad has found an old radio and has in fact become a "Pickle Monster", heard the little shout out.

Mom: "Was that you he was talking about?"

MOTD: Grinning stupidly "I think so. And my ears are bleeding and no I didn't have anything to do with it."

So I set out to create a payback. However the Nyquil was against me....that combined with MOTD's nerves that are always on edge when she tries to do something stupid involving PH; made me into Lord Goddess Queen Of The Dorkalopes once more.

2. It's Friday Free For All so I was armed with a good request...however...all the Coca-cola in the world hasn't cleared my fuzzy head. So when I called in...enter...silly teenage girl voice. Worse still...at some point this morning...I decided to try my hand at flirting again.

I think I failed miserably again.

PH however got a laugh out of my pain...so I guess that's bonus points for him.

So around 9:30 when my request got played, The Moody Blues so I could grin stupidly...Mom says: "You know he probably thinks you're a tard"

MOTD: "Quite possibly."

Of course...when I gave him my phone number for the contest...I sealed my dorkalope-ness and told him he should put it in his pocket.

Yeah. Me on Nyquil is a bad thing. I should not be allowed to operate a phone when I'm on Nyquil. I probably shouldn't be allowed to be on a computer either for that matter.

So for the record the score is now

MOTD: 9 (I scored points for trying)
PH: 76 (He scored for messing with my head, and turning me into The Queen of the Dorkalopes again)

Oh Hell

I think I have foot in mouth disease bad. Actually I just want to crawl under a rock and hide.

By now you've seen the comment left by my Fishy. Ok, he's not my Fishy....that's just a small pipe dream I have, because I think I've probably scared the crap out of the man.

Damn and blast. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut. Why? Why? Why?

And why am I typing this? Because I'm a glutton for punishment.

I also feel like a great booby. (As Gaston Leroux wrote in The Phantom Of The Opera) See, after all the ranting the other day, I thought, maybe I've been a huge pest of the most obnoxious variety. So I thought to myself, maybe I should just lay low for a day or two. See I felt like I was being a gigantic fucktard, so I thought it best not to email him yesterday.

Mayhem thus ensues, because I took a few small words wrong and because sometimes I don't quite see the bright side of life.

Now I don't quite know what to do, shy of saying I don't bite. Honest! Unless of course I'm asked and then it's gently. (Probably shouldn't have typed that, but hey...if I'm going to dig a hole, it might as well be a deep hole so I could dive right in when necessary.)

But for all it's worth...


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I'd send hugs, but erm....I don't want to invade his space...or rather his cyberspace.

Suffice to say, I feel like the Lord Goddess Queen of the Dorkalopes now..I'm ready to lead my mighty herd of dorkalopes across the dorkalope plain.