Wednesday, July 01, 2020

Happy July

We made it halfway through the year.

Woo hoo!

My birthday is tomorrow. The 2nd I'll be spending without my mama.

I don't want things to be too bittersweet.

I have so many regrets.

My last b-day with her, was spent without her.

She sent me shopping and to eat a quiet dinner by myself.

I never knew how sad that blissful day of peace would bring me later, when she was gone and there would be no more birthdays with her.

But I'm not going to be sad.

I'm going to enjoy my day tomorrow, as much as I can, seeing covered bridges in Somerset and Bedford county.

I think that's what she would want.

Friday, June 26, 2020

I Need To Rewire My Brain

Since my mom passed away I've become hyper vigilant about money.

I wish I could explain.

I always worry there won't be enough for when something goes wrong. (Because it always will.)

My credit cards seldom carry a balance, unless I have a financing option for a big ticket item.

I don't buy frivolous things...well except maybe skincare stuff, which I am addicted too.

The problem is when I want to buy something for me that's a larger ticket item, that isn't about my house, I feel guilty spending the money.

I really really want a new camera, but since I don't know what my house is going to cost me, above and beyond my payment from Allstate, I don't want to buy one, because I don't want debt.





But somehow I have to figure out a way to let myself have some things that benefit just me and not the household in general.

I don't know how to get around this though.

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Happy Father's Day

Though he's not here, I wish my daddy a happy father's day in heaven.

Today everyone is telling us why there dad is the best dad they could have, so I'll be no different.

He took care of us all, or tried, even as his health was failing.

This was the man that sat in the gyne's office with me when I had to have a procedure done and I was too scared to go alone.

This is the man, who when he was on hospice and still trying to get in trouble would have mom call me and say, his daughter would let him do whatever it is he wanted to do. (even though he couldn't)

I will always here his voice saying "my daughter." It is the best thing that I could be called.

This was the man who always tapped us on the head and said "go to bed," when he'd head up the stairs at an insanely early hour.

This is the man that loved to go out to eat, no matter where it was...McDonald's, a random Chinese or Mexican place, Kings, or Eat N' Park. He loved to go out.

He was stubborn.

He was loving.

He could make you absolutely insane at times,

But he was my daddy and I will love him forever.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Doing Something For Me

I've got stuff done, I've said that before.

Now I want to do something for me.

Why is that so dang hard?

I've spent a whole lot of time focusing on everyone else.

I work 13 hours many days and I come home late, and I make supper...Usually at 10 o'clock at night.

I'm super tired on those nights and on the nights I don't work I have to worry about either getting shopping done or picking someone up from work.

Never about me.

My life hasn't been about me for a long time. At least before, I had a purpose. Now my life is not mine and I have no purpose.

I've been doing things to make my house look pretty.

Now I want to do a few things for me.

Like maybe a new camera...

Or a daytrip somewhere.

I'm not saying I deserve it more than anyone, because everyone that works deserves a break every now and then..I'm just saying...I need something for me.

Tuesday, June 09, 2020

Checking Things Off My List

Its so exciting when you get stuff accomplished.

1. My new drapes are bought and up and look really great. One of the old pair actually was still in ok shape, so they are now in the hallway upstairs.

2. My front yard now has flower beds and pretty solar lights. I am so happy and 110 dollars later, the flowers are in and they look lovely!

Monday, June 08, 2020

The Battle of Mascara

I shared my review of these two mascaras on Facebook, but I'll add some more details here

I've had the chance to try both these popular mascaras thanks to IPSY.

Both are fabulous.

Lash next door retails at $18 while Liquid lash extensions retails ar $24.  So there's quite a price difference. Mind you, I'm not usually one to spend that much on mascara.

For me, I like Lash next door a little more. It lengthens while still looking natural.  Now mind you, I have longer lashes, but even though I have dark hair they aren't that well defined. They are also really straight.

Lash Next Door also come off a little easier of the two.

Liqiud lash extensions gives you a more glam look. Which is great for a night out. Sadly, I don't get any of those. The one other fab thing about liquid lash extensions is that the company is vegan and cruelty free and donates to women's charities.

Liquid Lash Extension wasn't as easy to remove for me. It also looks a little clumpy on. You really need to have a quick hand at applying. Also no second coat necessary. It really will make your eyes pop. So for me there was no question regarding whether or not it worked. It does. Its just not a look I'd go for on a daily basis.

I have a simple eye routine, since Covid-19 has me at minimal makeup because masks make me break out BADLY.

I have beigey multi-purpose eye crayon that I use in the corners of my eye, lining my eye and my brows and blending. It acts as a nice highlighter. I line my top lid with a liquid liner and then mascara.

So for me the more natural of the two products wins and that's Lash Next Door.

So if you are a budget conscious girly girl lash next door is the way to go.

Friday, June 05, 2020

Will June Be Better?

The last few weeks have been nothing but work.

To be honest between all of that and whats going on in our country right now...I just have no words.

I don't mean to be quiet about what's going on. I just don't have the adequate means to say how I feel and in some instances I don't feel I have the right to say anything except that I'm sad that hatred fills so many hearts in this country.

So I'm going to leave this youtube video here in hopes it warms some frozen hearts

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Operation Organization Begins

Lists, lists, lists.

I am making so many lists.

I have cleaned my house top to bottom. Steam cleaned the floor again in the dining room. That floor needs some serious buffing.

Things have been dusted and organized.

The vacuum has been used multiple times.

My house looks good.

I'm proud of my quarantine cleaning binge.

Now I just have to order my drapes for the living room and dining room and get my outside looking spiffy.

Why am I doing all of this?

Because the projects that need doing are all in a hurry up and wait pattern, thanks to covid-19, I'm just trying to make the spots that I can look nice. It's definitely getting there!

Thursday, May 07, 2020

The Frugal Vegetarian

Covid-19 sucks ass for many reasons, one of which is soaring meat prices.

OK,  I admit, I am a carnivore.

However, I am CHEAP!

Budgeting right now is insane and I'm looking for ways to shop smart and have decent meals that taste good, but don't break my budget.

I'm feeding three adults (and I'm not sure why..but just blame mom, its all her fault..bless her sainted heart) and we all have big appetites.

So far on my meat free menus

Lentil Veggie Soup
Lentil Chili (My chili tastes better than the meat version I used to make)
Kraft Zesty Spaghetti (You know that box stuff with the seasoning packet? OMG I make the best sauce with that. 1 can of tomato paste and 1 to 2 jars of diced tomatoes and you get some really good sauce in a jiffy)
Black Bean Burgers (which I haven't made in AGES but are so good!)
Sweet Potato and Black Bean Chili
Pasta Bake (Can be done with or without meat, cos my meat is usually pepperoni but its just as good without_

However let me say, getting canned beans is a pain in the bippy!

My must try recipe for this week is Smoky White Bean and Potato Stew

My next step in trying to be less crazy is getting a subscription with Imperfect Foods. My friend Tina, suggested it and I'm going to give it a go, cos frankly I hate the grocery store, and until I can be one with the farmers market, well I'm doing what I have to do. I'm on a waitlist there, but here's hoping I can get some groceries delivered in the coming months.

Hey who knows, maybe I'll even get a little healthier in the long run.