Saturday, March 31, 2007

It's On My Mind....

Firstly before I start rambling...I lied...I'm not done with my ramblings about that one person.

~ I listened to Pickle today for the first time in over a week. Not a good thing. As soon as the commericals came on I felt an uncontrollable desire to growl, snarl and flip off the radio and the person speaking in the commericals. Yeah, I guess I'm still a little hurt and bitter.

~ I have pictures from Ohiopyle and the Mill Run windfarm today. It was so nice to be out and about on the weekend and not be at a mall.

~ I have loads of plans for the Easter week...some religious...some not. A few weeks ago I had two friends I would be able to share them with. Why is it that the absence of these two people from my life leaves me feeling so empty? They both treated me shittily. (is that a word?)

~ It's impossible to keep up your heart rate when listening to Gordon Lightfoot. His music is entirely too laid back when you're on the eliptical. I never seem to get songs like High & Dry to come on when I'm working out. Nope. It has to be stuff like Pussy Willows & Cattails.

~ I have a new favorite Diana Krall song, Love Me Like A Man from The Girl In The Other Room. Have I mentioned that's my favorite Diana Krall disc? Love it, to infinity and beyond.

I never seen such losers darling
Even though I tried
To find a man who can take me home instead of
Taking me for a ride
And I need someone to love me's almost my favorite...Narrow Daylight still holds that position.

Is the kindness we count upon
Hidden in everyone?

I stepped out in a sunlit grove
Although deep down I wished it would rain
Washing away all the sadness and tears
That will never fall so heavily again

~ It's dawned on me that this coming week is going to be so full that I may have to remind myself to breathe.

1. Two kitties are going to the vet Monday night.
2. Tuesday is Deb's final doctor's appointment in Pittsburgh, and I have to take her.
3. I have to be at Holy Thursday mass.
4. We're going to the spring flower show Friday night.
5. I have to do the Easter shopping sometime this week.
6. I want to make sure I get to exercise at least 4 times this week too for at least one hour if not longer.

Nope...I don't think I have time for breathing.

The Lambic Beer Of The Week

Yesterday Deb and I went back to Barley and Hops for a cheese board and another lambic beer. We're trying to bankrupt ourselves by eventually trying all the flavors. Last week we had our favorite, raspberry, this week I had peach.

Let me tell you, for $9, this is one of the best drinky poos that I've ever had. The peach was every bit as awesome as the raspberry. I look forward to trying the black cherry and apple. I think there's one other fruit, but I'm not sure if they have it there, which is a shame.

Mind you that's just working our way through the Lindeman's lambics. There was at least one or two other brands there, but they don't have as many flavors. One of the varieties was actually more expensive. Yikes! But that will not stop me. Nope! I'm on the quest to find the best lambic beer.

So far, Lindeman's raspberry is my favorite, but who knows in a few weeks that may change!

Friday, March 30, 2007

I'm The "It" Girl Again

Crse tagged me and now I'm "it" again.

Five things you've never revealed on your blog, and then tag five people!

I've been blogging for a very long time so this isn't going to be the easiest thing to do, especially as I like to share.

1. One of my first nicknames in school was Cleo. Why? I had horribly long hair until about the 6th grade when I got it cut into a blunt bob and I looked like Cleopatra. I wasn't really fond of the nickname. In fact the only nickname that I've had that didn't piss me off is Queen. I'm the Queen of Weird. Bow to my greatness! Now, damn it!

2. I took ballet for several years growing up. I think there's still a video of my two performances in the house. Why that tape wasn't destroyed, I don't know. I was a terrible dancer then, I'm a terrible dancer now.

3. I'm going to be mostly debt free in about one year. I know I've talked about getting things paid off, but I don't think I've ever mentioned that I may be able to live better very soon. If only I didn't love to spend, spend, spend.

4. I don't like The Rolling Stones. I think they are highly overrated. That's not to say that there aren't a few songs that I adore, because there are, but I've never really been a fan, and I probably never will be.

5. I didn't learn how to drive until I was 18. We won't even discuss that I didn't pass my driver's test until the 3rd try. I was always petrified of the state cop sitting next to me.

Now I tag

Bananas,Callie, Karen, Kelly & Julie

Top 5 On Friday - Week 117

From the ladies @

Top 5 albums that you can't live without. (And tell us why you can't live without them)

1. Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Blood & Chocolate

Anytime I feel angsty about something I listen to this album. It wasn't my first Elvis Costello album, that was Spike, but this is probably the one I can label my very favorite of all of them. It always makes me feel better to listen to the songs on this one. If you own one Elvis Costello CD, this one should be it. But then again, why would you only own one?

The Moody Blues - Long Distance Voyager

This is another one of my most played albums. I can't find a bad song on this album. A few of the songs on this album have been inspiring to me, back in the day when I could actually write. Someday I may be that inspired again.

I just wish oldies stations would take up playing tracks from this CD. I would love to here Gemeni Dream or The Voice on the radio, but if I did, I'd probably collapse, so it's best this way.

3. The Beatles - Rubber Soul

Did you think The Beatles wouldn't make the list? And why this one? 2 words: Nowhere Man. Most of my favorite Beatles tunes are on this album. I love this disc. It's still got a bit of the innocence of the first records, while pointing to the direction that they were about to take.

4. Oingo Boingo - Dark At The End Of The Tunnel

When the going is rough, I turn to Boingo and usually it's this disc. Since I discovered the band in the early 90's, this one has been my favorite. Danny Elfman's voice is damn near perfect here. Yes, the album is a bit dark, but not so dark as to be scary and the songs are beautiful.

5. Gordon Lightfoot - Gord's Gold 2

My Gordon Lightfoot collection is hardly complete, but this disc has most of my favorites on it; The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerarld, High & Dry, Alberta Bound, & Hangdog Hotel Room.

I picked Gordon, because most of the artists I listed before were favorites of mine from ages past. Gordon is a new obsession of mine, and I find myself listening to him at least once a day if I can. (That's assuming my car CD player cooperates)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

It Sucks To Be Me

Everytime I hear this song from the musical Avenue Q I giggle...No I lie...I laugh hysterically.

It sums up how I feel so often...but then I listen to the song and realize that if someone wrote the song, then I'm not the only the one. One day I'm going to get a chance to see the show.

So maybe it doesn't suck to be me that much. But if you've ever felt that have to listen to the song.

Click here to download

And while I'm having revelations...tomorrow will be one week since a certain person shook up my life in a not so nice way. Guess what? I'm living and not caring very much. I admit to shedding a few tears Friday, mostly for my stupidity.

Why do I suddenly feel the need to listen to the Barenaked Ladies?


Oh and I was reading a cheesy Barbara Cartland novel today. It was horrid, but I found a sentence that struck me as very true.

One can never escape the consequences of an action and therin lies the punishment or the reward.

Deep thoughts for a bad romance novel. But when I read this, I suddenly thought about the "fishy" person, and I knew that that these words were unfortunately true.

I have to live with the consequences of two actions. One the thoughtlessness of a friend that thought she was going to help me out by bugging that "fishy" person. And granted she opened a big enough can of worms that I should have been able to catch a whole lake of "fish," she did more harm than good. The other the "sin of omission" by that "fishy" person.

I have a piece of advice for both of these people.

For Jill: Don't help unless the help is asked for.

For Fishy x 3: Telling someone you are involved is not (I repeat) is not, an invasion of your privacy. Telling someone that likes you, that you are involved is a COMMON COURTESY. File that in your cute little noggin, just in case some other deluded female decides to crush on you. Spare her the agony, sweetie, m'kay?

Thus ends my ramblings for today...oh and not to worry...this wil be the last post containing anything about that "fishy" person.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things that amuse me....(currently)

1. Pictures of me that are halfway decent. There have been quite a few of these lately. These are from Michael's confirmation

And in profile

2. People that visit the blog because they want to read my site but continually neglect to leave comments. This not only amuses me but it makes me wonder. I've been getting several hits in the PA area one pretty close to me that comes M-F and another that's getting close to Erie...Hmmm. Who are you people and why are you people reading anyway?

3. Middleage men at the gym. I swear they set the weights unbelievably high and then do two reps and then act like they've had a workout. To the best of my knowledge 2 reps is not's you trying to be macho. Lordy.

4. When no one is around the new kitty, Bootsie, goes all lovey dovey. She does the butt up in the air, scratch my butt dance. It makes me giggle.

5. Hearing The Moody Blues on the radio. I would love to hear something from Octave or Long Distance Voyager though. Still when I hear Question on the radio I always grin. If it were Nights In White Satin, I'd probably just switch the radio off.

6. Being able to sing along to my Zen at work at random points in the day. Or for that matter being able to dance along to the good songs on the radio. And no...I don't dance to the Moody Blues except when I hear Your Wildest Dreams.

7. Receiving CDs from La La. Especially when the the disc is one that I've been needing to get for a long time.

This one came yesterday...

Believe it or not, until yesterday I only had this one on vinyl.

8. The weather that's staying warm through the weekend, only to turn disgusting cold mid-week next week. WTF is up with that? Hmmm. But right now the warmness is amusing me greatly! Yay for wearing capris to work!

9. Songs that say exactly what you want to say....One of my favorites has always been The Smiths - Unhappy Birthday....but Elvis Costello's Just About Glad does the job too.

10. Getting another day off to take big sis to the doctor's. (While being paid to do it by big sis) It's a win-win situation. It also means I get to eat someplace yummy in Pittsburgh. Yay! That is truly amusing.

11. The flowers in my yard are starting to bloom. (Oh and there are some mystery plants starting to appear...I wonder what they are...because we put down so many seeds last year from plants we had)

12. The fact that I can be unamused by someone in some ways and amused by them in others...just because of total strangeness. But then again, strangeness has always amused me. I'm easily amused, as you can tell.

13. People that send emails when they are angry and don't run them through spell check. I think we've all been guilty of doing this. I know I have, but it's fun to get one and just go...~sigh~ Someone didn't take some cool down time before they started typing.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I Can Relate To This

A little too much actually, but then again, I've always said that Elvis Costello could write the story of my life just using his own song lyrics.

This song in particular is like a page out of my diary...or a post on my blog...

Just About Glad - Elvis Costello

I'm just about glad that I knew you once
And it was more than just a passing acquaintance
I'm just about glad that it was a memory
That doesn't need constant maintenance
There are a few things that I regret
But nothing that I need to forget
For all of the courage that we never had
I'm just about glad

Just about glad we didn't do that thing
Just about glad we didn't have that fling
Just about glad we didn't give it a try
Just about glad, is that a tear in your eye

And on the few times I rang to propose
There was a man there or so I suppose
The greatest lover that you never had
I'm just about glad

They called time and vodka and lime
In some far flung Canadian club
(Just about glad)
And there I was just waiting to fall
Like a toe just aching to stub
(Just about glad)
Later on I could never accept it
When you finally gave it all to him
(Just about glad)
And you said that my nurse was sweet
But her lamp was just beginning to dim

I'm just about glad
That we never did that thing we were going to do
I'm just about glad I can look you in the eye
But I can't say the same for you
And though the passion still flutters and flickers
It never got into our knickers
For all of the courage that we never had
I'm just about, I'm just about
I'm just about, I'm just about

And it's all just a stupid creation
Of my feverous imagination
If I'm the greatest lover that you never had
I'm just about, I'm just about
I'm just about, I'm just about

Is that a tear in your eye

Give it a'll understand

Just About

So Much To Think About

~ Yesterday Michael was confirmed. I'm his godmother and I was also his sponsor. The ceremony was lovely...I only wish the girls in his confirmation class didn't all get together and decide to look like tramps. One girl had a sleeveless dress on and a push up bra that had her boobs nearly exploding out of the dress. These girls are 15! And in church! What kind of parents said yes to this?

~ I love when people prove their fucktardness. It always gives me a small amount of joy. (And I'll take my joy whatever way I can get it) I've determined there are way too many fucktards in my life....however since some of them bring about amusement as well as aggravation...I'll live with it.

~ Must get to the gym. The change of weather and all this damn cake has not been good for me. I will be at the gym for at least an hour for the rest of the week regardless of how lazy my butt feels.

~ Back to the confirmation; spending over an hour with a bunch of teenage girls made me feel matronly. I was doing my best to dress respectably, which no one else was...I had a long blue floral dress on and I felt quite pretty...until I got to the church. ARGH! I think I better hide the credit cards before I max them out trying to buy some new clothes.

~ I have returned to a point where Danny Elfman/Oingo Boingo's music is bringing me some amusement again particularly the song It Only Makes Me Laugh from the So-Lo CD.

~ The new kitty is still hiding. Bootsie will come out if you bring her out and she loves being cuddled but as soon as you're done she finds the first cubby hole and she hides.

~ I've discovered a new radio station. Well not a new radio station but rather one I can listen to. WJPA is tolerable. It might take awhile to get used to because for the most part I could tell what time it was when I was listening to that other station. But on a plus I haven't heard any music that made me want to wretch (ie Yummy Yummy Yummy/Hot Rod Lincoln) and they played Carefree Highway yesterday. Ah....Gordon! Even if that particular song almost brought a tear to my eye.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Take Me Back Tuesday - Week 116

From the ladies @ Music Memoirs

Pick a specific time in your life that you found enjoyable...tell us about it.

I'm picking the years 2003 - 2006. Careerwise these years sucked but my life in general improved. In those years...I met John Lodge, Justin Hayward, Greame Edge, Bernie Barlow, Norda Mullen, Paul Bliss, Elvis Costello (twice), Gary Puckett, Peter Noone and Eddie Izzard...It was a good time...a very good time.

What music do you remember from that time?
It was all about The Moody Blues and Elvis Costello though I developed a love for other artists like Annie Haslam, Nick Lowe and countless others at this time. The two albums that figured into my life the most prevelantly were:

Elvis Costello's When I Was Cruel


The Moody Blues' December

Everyone should own these 2 albums. December is the best Christmas/Holiday/Seasonal album ever. 'Nuff said

Why was that music important to you then?
In those 3 years I saw Elvis Costello twice and the Moody Blues 6 times. A bit obsessive? Yes, but that's my nature. If I like something I throw myself into it.(Head first usually and damn the consequences)

And how could the music not be important....when these were the people making it..

Did the music help make that time enjoyable?
2 words...Fuck Yes! If it weren't for the music it wouldn't have been fun at all. 2005 was a huge concert year...3 Moodies shows...I saw Elvis Costello that year...and Stevie Nicks and Don Henley...2006 was Peter Noone, Gary Puckett and Davy Jones...It's all good. It's all wonderful. Without the music those years would have been empty.

Discover Ohio

For the last year or so I've tried to collect all the guidebooks from the surrounding states so that when summer comes I can find things to do. Yesterday I received the Ohio book.

I'm ready to get in the car and go.

Actually, I'm ready to go anywhere, as most of you might be able to notice. In one of the guidebooks I discovered this place.

I want to go there now!

Landoll's Mohican Castle is about an hour and a half north of Columbus. I can only imagine the photo opportunities to be found there. My cameras are all but begging me to take them there. They don't even want to wait until there's money. They want to go now. I'm apt to agree with them, but I know better....and well I don't have the money to rent a car for a weekend right now...closer to summer, yes, right way.

Then there's OH's Amish country. I want to go to The Amish Door and I want to stay in a jacuzzi room! I also want to eat all the yummy Amish cooking. Yeah I like my food, I can't help it. Both resorts have fitness centers though, so I could work out after gorging myself on all the yummy goodies at the restaurants.

The question now is....When can I go, and where am I getting the money to go?

Monday, March 26, 2007

Meet Bootsie

When I called the Washington County Humane Society today, I learned that Roxy had been adopted. I was heartbroken for a moment because I had my heart set on her...but then I looked through the list at petfinder of all the other kitties that needed loving homes and I found Bootsie.

I immediately called and asked if she was still there. She was. Yay! So after work today I drove to Eighty-Four, PA and went to see her.

Isn't she gorgeous?

She's a year old and still very shy. It's going to take some time for her to get used to her new friends, Oogie, Mutchka and Itchy, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

Right now she's taken up residence in Oogie's cage. She's spent her whole life in one and upon finding Oogie's spot, she ran right in. When she's not in a cage she looks for the first cubby hole she can hide in.

Poor baby.

She'll be fine in time, I'm sure. I'm so glad I could give her a forever home.

I Need A Vacation

I know I can't have one. I know it's pointless to have one. I wouldn't be able to go anywhere yet, plus I wouldn't have anyone to go with, so I'd just be sitting around my house.


That wouldn't be much different than not having a vacation.

However I can be happy in knowing that when I do get to Atlantic City this year that The Steel Pier is still there. Last year there was talk of it closing for good, because Donald Trump wanted to develop the Pier into a shopping complex!

Well good on you Mr. Trump for letting the park stay, because when I thought I would never see my carousel ever again I was very sad indeed.

Now if only time would pass so I can actually plan a vacation or a trip that will let clear my head of all the cobwebs.

Just a few more months...a few more months...I can live with that, right?

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Random 10 - Week 98

The ladies at Music Memoirs want to know:

10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)

The song choices are obvious this weekend...

ABBA - The Winner Takes It All
Jann Arden - Insensitive
Gordon Lightfoot - Carefree Highway
Rachael Sage - Even Love Dies
ABBA - Take A Chance On Me (I hate this song now)
Ohio Express - Yummy Yummy Yummy
Madonna - Another Suitcase, Another Hall
Justin Hayward - Celtic Heart
Jann Arden - You're So Vain
Oingo Boingo - Better Luck Next Time

And the image?

It's a Pina Colada Gelati! And don't I wish it had alcohol in it?

~ Yum ~

I Want To Adopt Roxy

In the course of my madness I've been looking for someplace to transfer my love. Since December I've been desperate for a new kitty. Roxy is 7 and I hope is still at the Humane Society in Washington.

She looks so much like my Misty that it's scary. I want to bring her home. I want to love her.

I want something that will love me in return.

I'm feeling really needy right now, which I'm unaccustomed to feeling. Up until this past fall, I really believed that I was enough for myself. I didn't need anyone else.

I hope I hear back from the shelter that she's still there and in need of adoption.

Hold The Fire!!!! I don't want to hold the fire...I want to open fire, damn it. Let me explain my last post, because it needs to be explained.

I was feeling down, really down.

So as a pick me up I created a profile on Then I did a search. And what did I find? I found my Fishy! I also saw that he'd been active on the site in the last 3 months.

My jaw hit the floor so hard that it hurt.


And worse still he's on a few other dating sites.

Do you mind if I smack my head off the wall now?

But what bugged me is that he has a picture of his goddaughter when she was a baby on the site. Sweetie that's so low. Using a baby to try to get dates? Fuck, sweetie you were using your dog to get dates?

That's beyond Must Love Dogs! That's just..just..just...fucked up!

I don't pretend to know the Fish, because we've only had an email correspondence for the last few months...but from what I picked up he was a decent enough guy. He's funny...he's adorable in that geeky sort of way. (Though I don't think he looks at all like David Duchovny)...I even credited him for being kinda nice.

I might have to strike that part because something doesn't ring quite true right now. The worst part of all this is that I can't say anything to him, because he's gone for the week, plus I don't want to come across as crazy. However I'm damn curious now. Beyond curious...and very angry. Not hurt...just angry.

~shakes head~

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Dear Mr. Fishy

I'm a bit confused. Seeing as you are involved with someone and have been for some time, why do you still have a profile on Shouldn't you delete it? And erm...why have you been active in the last 3 months...if you've been involved for some time? I'm a bit curious.

But really..what gets me is this

Describe the person that you might be interested in meeting.
My ideal woman would be someone who is honest to a fault. I'm a big boy and can handle the truth no matter what. I hate lies! She would have an incredible sense of humor and would like to play "dress up" on occasion as well as staying at home in her sweats/jammies and slippers.

Fishy, did I read that right? You hate lies? Excuse me but I have to go to the bathroom, because I have to spit...I'm that mad.

I have a funny feeling it's the truth you have a problem with, but maybe that's just me.

Oh and because I do like you....though I can't imagine why...I thought I'd just say..

This is such a cute picture.

Now could you come a little closer so I can smack you upside your cute little head?

(((HUGS))) as always,


Bow To The Beer!

Behold the bottle of lambic beer from Belgium! It's not the easiest thing to find, but it's about the best tasting drink I've ever had.

The first time I experienced the heaven that this raspberry flavored beer is, was at Brulee @ the Tropicana in Atlantic City. After that I've been on a search to find this in every beer distributor in the area.

Unfortunately lambic beer is a very posh beer. It thinks it's champagne and even comes with two lids; the tradition beer bottle cap and a cork. However all the aggravation of opening the bottle is worth it on the first taste.

Why, you ask?

Because when you drink lambic beer, you can't even tell that there's any alcohol in the darn thing.

This lovely drink runs about $8.95 a bottle too. It was $10 in Atlantic City, but there it came in champange flutes dipped in chocolate. Pricey as it was, it was just what the doctor ordered, it was so good I forgot about most other things that have been occupying my thoughts lately.

Now everyone bow to the Queen of Beers!

I Feel So...I Feel So....

I don't know how I feel actually. Angsty? Depressed? Let down? Weird? What makes me feel worse is that the friend that started this mess has disappeared off the planet. No emails returned and no phone calls returned. It makes me wonder...

But I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm not. At least not that much.

I have determined that there are some songs that I can't listen to right now without being filled with a sense of hurt and a bit of rage....

Ohio Express - Yummy Yummy Yummy
(Which was a joke between...erm..people...because we sure as hell weren't friends)

ABBA - Take A Chance On Me
(There wasn't any need to not play the song I requested. The angst was for me alone and only 2 people would know why I was requesting The Winner Takes It All.)

I wonder if I'll be able to listen to Pickle again. I wonder how I'll survive the silence of my office if I don't. I wonder how long it will take to get this out of my system... I'm fairly certain the answer to the first question is no and the answer to the second and the third is...I haven't a clue.

All I can say is ...I hope the weather is rotten in Orlando this coming week. I hope it pours down buckets...

Friday, March 23, 2007

Where's My Shoulder?

Doesn't anyone have one I can cry on? I've gone from being sad to angry to just plain downright confused all day. It doesn't help matters that all this came about before work, rather than after. Before work means I have 8 hours where I can sit and think about my stupidity. I can sit and let my self esteem get lower and lower.

Because I can't seem to think that if I were a little more of something it would have made a difference.

Fat chance.

I just feel so damn low and ugly and miserable.

Well Andrea....I have someone, you're not it...and I'm off to Florida for a week, so you can try to get over it without even hearing my voice in the mornings or getting an email from me for a full week.

And no those aren't his words..but just how it came across to me.

I feel like I was dealt a 1, 2 punch and left to bleed on the street.

And the tone of his emails didn't change today...It was as if he didn't realize that the recipient of the email was being torn in two. Perhaps he doesn't remember what it feels like to have a crush on someone. Maybe he was lucky enough to be able to get the girl easily. That's never been the case with me.

I really just want to cry and cry....for my own idiocy of thinking I stood a chance with someone....I know better now. There is no man that will ever like me. I should start adopting more cats, because they will likely be my only companions...

And since I always seek solace in music...

Firstly Jann Arden's Insensitive

Jann Arden - Insen...

And lastly Rachael Sage's Even Love Dies

Rachael Sage - Eve...

Give them a listen and let me know what you think. I'll be making a heartbreak mix now. And if any of you have a shoulder I could cry on...let me know.

Getting It All Out

Was given some information that just ruined my day in some ways. However I said that I would be content with friendship...and because I really like this person I will be content with friendship...Friendship is better than nothing.

I'm a little bit miffed though. I called in my weekly request, which was ABBA's Winner Takes It All. Yes, it had a message. I had come to shake his hand so to speak. But wait, it gets better. He didn't play my song. He played Take A Chance On Me. WTF! I know he has the song I requested. He played it yesterday. I just needed to get my angst off my chest and mind. I needed that song. Apparently he knows his ABBA lyrics.


I apologise..if it makes you feel bad....seeing me so self confidence. Thanks Benny and Bjorn!

I do however feel like a huge tard. I put myself out in ways that I usually don't in the past few months. I'd be lying if I didn't say I hurt right now. I also would be lying if I said I didn't feel like I had been made a fool of. Because he's read the blog and my feelings have been in every word...and until today nothing was said...and though the word sorry doesn't quite do the full job.

So yeah...all my flirting...and crushing has been for nothing, absolutely nothing...


This Song Says It All

08 The Winner Take...

If you need me..I'll be somewhere crying for the rest of the day.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Lyrics That Hit Home...

God forgive me I want who I want...I need who I need...I love who can't have.

~ Even Love Dies - Rachael Sage

Why are these words the story of my life? Why? Why? Why?

Chasing you around the room is tempting
So near and far away from meaning anything to you-
But just remember if you're jumping, I would start my jump off
Running after you..

~ Your Armor - Charlotte Martin

I really love the part about being so near and far away from meaning anything to you. Yeah. That song is so my life right now, except the person in question in my life is obviously not speaking to me, because of something I DID NOT DO!!

And the song that I love but just can't live by

This time i'm not gonna go so crazy
I'm not gonna let it faze me
I'm building my resistance
Bound to keep my distance

Slowly, determined to take it slowly
Refusing to let it throw me
Feeling every feeling
Staring at the ceiling

And if it's real, a heart will know
All the time
And come the spring, it will grow
Or die upon the vine
But if it's love, love will come
Knocking at my door
I do believe it now
Sometimes less is more

This time I'm not going to stoke the fire
I'm not going to walk the wire
Oh heart you've learned your lesson
Love is not obsesssion

Easy, I swear that I'll take it easy
And passion you won't deceive me
I'll hear the music playing
Hear the songbird saying

And if it's real, a heart will know
All the time
And come the spring, it will grow
Or die upon the vine
But if it's love, love will come
Knocking at my door
I do believe it now
Sometimes less is more

And if it's real, I will know
Know this time
And come the spring, it will grow
Or die upon the vine
But if it's love, love will come
Knocking at my door
I do believe it now
Sometimes less is more

~ Sometimes Less Is More - Justin Hayward

This Justin song makes me cry every time. Even when it's message didn't hit home it made me cry. I've really gone off The Moody Blues lately but Justin's solo work is still some of my favorite music. It's a shame...this heart has not learned its lesson.

Baa! Says the Sheep!

Everyone else was doing like the good little sheepy that I am, I did too.

I'm Such A Worry Wart

By now you all know that. I worry about everything and yes...when I see my shadow I jump in fear.

When I don't get an email from PH I worry that I've said something wrong....or that I've been a pest...or something of that nature. Or in today's case that someone has said something that has made him think I'm a raving lunatic. Yes, I'm a bit goofy, but that's a given. I never wanted him to think I'm off my head.

And since I have a good friend that decided to share something with him that I wish she wouldn't have...I have been worrying more.

See I've spent the last 7 months crushing on this man. 7 MONTHS! For 7 months I've been like a teenager...turning on the radio at 6 am just to listen to him. And finally since February...I thought he was beginning to notice that I was alive! Heck, I think he might have even liked me just a little bit.

Now I'm worried all that I accomplished is for nothing. And that a few well meaning words have made him wish he never said a word to me.

It's bad enough I do stuff on my own that makes me feel like this. I don't need help! Honest.

So much for sleep. So much for my sanity.

If anything I appreciated his friendship...and if I've lost that...well we won't even discuss how bad I will feel.

Thursday Thirteen

This is actually going to be more like a Thursday 26.

Firstly: 13 things that most people that visit this blog on a regular basis know about me.

1. I have 3 cats and 1.5 dogs. The half being my sister's dog that stays with us most of the time.

2. My favorite bands/artists are The Moody Blues, Elvis Costello, Erasure, Duran Duran, Gordon Lightfoot, Oingo Boingo and Grey Eye Glances.

3. Photography is my favorite hobby.

4. Atlantic City is my favorite vacation spot.

5. Pretty lights and water amuse me. Combine the two and I'm comatose.

6. My car is a 1991 Chevy Beretta.

7. I have 2 novels finished but I'm scared to do anything with them.

8. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration from California University of PA.

9. I've met several celebrities over the last few years and even shared drinks with one of them.

10. My favorite form of exercise is walking but the weather doesn't seem to permit me to do too much of it.

11. My mind usually resides in the gutter

12. Making mix CDs is relaxing for me and I love to make mixes for my friends. My Christmas Mix goes to almost every family member and friend. (I start making them in Oct)

13. I have a huge crush on a certain DJ...and he likes to pretend he doesn't know it.

Now for the next 13.

13 Things most of you probably don't know about me.

1. I'm painfully shy with new people in person or with people that I like. I will spend hours deliberating over something I want to say or do until it drives me crazy.

2. I've only been drunk 3 times in my life and all three times bad things happened as a result.

3. I find it easier to convey my feelings in writing than through speech.

4. I have an obsession with clothes. Macy's and Dots are my downfalls. If I see something I like, I tend to buy it and damn the consequences.

5. I also have an obsession with makeup and skin care stuff. My favorite online place to shop is Yves Rocher.

6. I need music to fall asleep to most nights. Lately I've been drifting off to Tommy James' Hold The Fire CD.

7. I always have a book with me in the bathtub.

8. I am easily moved to feelings hurt easily.

9. I never forget something I consider a betrayal.

10. I'm always afraid of doing something that will offend the people I like/love/care about.

11. I don't know as much about html and webdesign as most people think I do. I pretty much know the basics and that's it.

12. The furthest I've been from home is Atlantic City to the East and Toronto to the North...Cincinnati to the West...and I've only ever gone as far as Fairmont WV to the south. I've led a sheltered life.

13. I've never had the least inclination to be married. I've had some lustful tendencies but the thought of marriage makes me shudder.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Happy First Day Of Spring

Do you know what this means?

It means it's time to go here

I won't be able to get one of those for free, but I will be able to get an Italian Ice for free, and I want Wild Berry this time! However Rita's custard is soooo very good I may just pay for mine and get the gelati.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Catch Of The Day

I was innocently shopping at Giant Eagle today, buying some stuff for my lunch etc when I happened upon the seafood section.

One glance and I was collapsing with laughter.


Now we all know that I have a dirty mind, so you have to know that the herring in cream sauce made me lose it completely. I'm just so glad that there weren't too many people around to see me giggling at jars of...erm..FISH!

However since the price is $3.99....I was wondering if maybe I could get one of these...

$3.99 just can't be beat. In fact, I think that's a steal! But if I can't get one of those there I guess I'll have to go

I Need My Happy Place

I hope this doesn't count against me for my giving up on hunks for lent...but I need my happy place and Elvis Costello can always take me there.

Can't Sleep

I've been awake since 4 o'clock in the morning. It's my dorkalope self that's done this to me. I think I slept 4 hours. However a girl does learn from being stupid.

1. When you have a crush on someone you delude yourself into thinking the other party might actually like you.

2. Sitting alone in an office for 8 hours can sometimes rot your brain.

3. No matter how much you want to do something, sometimes it's just best to keep your stupid ideas in your head.

4. If three becomes too hard remember DO NO HIT SEND! (Whether on the phone or email)

5. Sometimes music, even the best music doesn't work. It just makes it worse, even if it's your favorite George Harrison song from Cloud 9: Fish On The Sand

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Post Where I Get Everything Out In The Open

It's safe to say that everyone that stops by this blog knows a few random facts about me.

1. I like photography.

2. My job is perhaps not as exciting or as challenging as it should be.

3. I have a huge, teenage-girl crush on Fishy, that usually results in me embarrassing myself to a large extent.

Let's run with number 3 shall we. Today in my madness, I called the station, cos Mr. Fishy was sounding unusually perky. I had almost hit send on the phone a few times during the morning, but I was trying to be good. Sadly the devil on my shoulder got the better of me and I hit the send button.

So I teased my the Fishy for a few minutes and he said he'd play a song for me, but not the Moody Blues. Hmmm did I overdo the Moodies requests lately? Perhaps. I know not. So I had to think of a song off the top of my head. My pic? Gordon Lightfoot's Carefree Highway. Another song that has brilliant lyrics.

I'm particularly fond of this line

Now the thing that I call livin' is just bein' satisfied
With knowin' I got no one left to blame

Of course since making this phone call, I've been in a tizzy of worry. Was I an annoyance? Did I piss him off?

This was a totally random thing for me to do. I don't usually call on a day other than Friday. Last week I talked to him twice but the one time had to do with my parents anniversary.


I wish I'd get an email to let me know he's not mad at me. All I wanted to know was what the heck was in his coffee that made him so damn silly and perky.

See I really really like Fishy. I think he's the greatest thing since tiramisu and Coca-Cola, and since I'm such a dorkalope and have the tendency to put my size 8 foot in my mouth, I worry that I offended or annoyed or any combination of the two. The best part is....I wish he'd read this and say something. I know he won't because he never seems to show up at the blog when I want him to.

Now I'm just going to have to sit here and wonder...which is likely to make me go bonkers.

All Hail The Queen Of The Dorkalopes

Well, I've gone and done it again. I've made a dorkalope of myself. A certain Fishy was sounding unusually perky this morning and I was insanely curious as to why, so after much deliberation, I picked up the phone and called to ask.

Why do I do things like this?

Oh yes, I forgot...I'm a dorkalope. In fact, I'm the Queen of the Dorkalopes. All other dorkalopes should bow before me.

I said bow before me, damn it!

It was one of those, it seemed like a good idea at the time things. You know, the kind of thing that usually gets me into trouble later, or makes the guy I'm crushing on get really annoyed with me. (Please let him not be annoyed with me)

However I had a brief moment of "I talked to Fishy" bliss before I realized that I was making a dorkalope of myself.

I wish there was something that could shock me before I did stupid things like this so that I could just not do them. Of course I would probably be a charred mess in 24 hours...but such is the life of the Queen of the Dorkalopes.

Random 10 - Week 97

From the ladies @ Music Memoirs

10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)

There was no rhyme or reason to what I listened to this weekend. I was pulling stuff out randomly in a lot of instances, just as my Zen and winamp were on random...So this is what anyone in this house heard blasting..

Roxette - Joyride
( fool...I love you....)

Diana Krall - The Girl In The Other Room
(This is my favorite DK song.)

Tommy James - Hold The Fire
(My nephew says I play this song too's quite possible that he's right)

The Irish Rovers - Beer, Beer, Beer
(For obvious reasons)

Grey Eye Glances - Hey Love
(This is one of my new favorite GEG songs. This band really needs to do a new album...NOW)

The Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing
(This one showed up on my winamp. I hadn't heard this one in a long while)

Gordon Lightfoot - Carefree Highway
(I finally ripped Sundown to my harddrive)

Gordon Lightfoot - High & Dry
(I like the original version from Sundown better then the version on Gord's Gold 2)

Glass Tiger - Touch Of Your Hand
(I ripped Air Time to my hard drive! Yay for cheesy 80's music!)

Crosby Stills Nash & Young - Got It Made
(This was on my March Mix)

Now for dessert...erm the picture...

A fried cheesecake that was shared between my parents and me @ the fabulous Mexican restaurant in Charleroi On Mon...The Three Amigos. Yum.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I Feel Accomplished

I've actually done some things this weekend..besides eating...and drinking green beer. Can I get a Woot! for that please? It's deserving.

1. I filled out the rebate form for my new phone and have everything that I need to copy in my bag for work tomorrow. I should be able to mail it with the mail at work!

2. I hit the gym 2 times this weekend for an hour or more each time. Unfortunately the gym hit back both times. The scale is dipping down again, but better than that my clothes are feeling loose again. Yay, inches are being lost. I think its all those teeny tiny girls at the gym that are motivating me.

3. Laundry was done. I hate laundry. Laundry is the pits.

4. Visited the place of supreme evil (Walmart) and only spent $30 on assorted low calorie drinks. Hmmm can you guess I went there after working out and after forgetting to take my water bottle along?

5. Cleaned 2 of 3 liter boxes. Do I win an award for that? I think I should, cos my kitties are full of shit! I'd rather do laundry.

6. Finished my return for my local taxes to find, I paid em way too much money last year.

7. Took pictures...but not with the new camera..I'm saving it for a special occasion.

Now I'm really tired, but I need to get an hour on the ski machine and I need to clean some more. (And there's stuff I'd like to do on the computer too)

I Have Such An Exciting Life

I hope everyone can pick up on the sarcasm in the title of this post. It's Sunday morning before 8 a.m. and here I sit at my desk pondering if I'm going to work out this morning. Most likely I am, though I'd rather do just about anything else.

St. Patrick's Day was uneventful...though I did drink a green beer. Yeah. I've lived 32 years of life without ever having a green beer.

and of course with that green beer I had to have a Reuben because that was the closest thing to corned beef and cabbage that was on the menu.

And a platter isn't complete without a PICKLE

Yeah, and if you think that use of the station's bad bad bad overused ID is awful, you should hear all the "fish" jokes that come my way on Fridays since it's lent. Oye! A certain fishy boy should have burning ears most of the day.

But back to my very uneventful St Patrick's Day. After we ate, sis and I decided that we had no desire to return home to listen to her ever squabbling sons, so we decided to go driving...Erm chasing rainbows if you will. This one in particular

No pot of gold to be found, and getting the picture of the strange not-quite-a-rainbow, rainbow was difficult...This is where I was standing when I took that shot

After I caught the elusive rainbow we continued to drive. Can you see how badly we didn't want to go home? Yeah I thought you could. So I decided I wanted to see if I could get a few shots of the Henry bridge in Mingo Park after the snow...

I came home and the beer kicked in....sending me to bed at the insanely early hour of 10:30 on a Saturday night. How wrong is that?

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Sometimes Cheesy Says It All

I'm a child of the 80's. I can't help it. I was born in 1974. So the cheesy music of that decade is more my thing. At the end of the 80's a band from Sweden hit the scene. Anyone remember Roxette, besides me?

Probably not.

I adored this band. I still do, but I don't let too many people know that.


I guess I let the cat out of the bag, eh?

Well in 1991 they released an album that gave new meaning to the word cheesy. Infectious pop music, yes. Good music, well probably not. In fact this music is so cheesy I recommend a good bottle of red to go with it. This particular song might possibly = the same level of cheesy badness of that evil, won't go away song, Yummy Yummy Yummy.

However this damn song seems to say all I want to say at this point.... fool...

Roxette - Joyride....

Join the joyride...

Go the cute song...get it stuck in your head. I think I'm going to be listening to Roxette a lot this weekend. It's a little bit better than Yummy Yummy Yummy.

So Much To Say....No One To Listen

I love my captive blog audience. At least I can be assured that someone will listen to my rants, raves and assorted mutterings.

~ The new camera is here. The battery is charged. I think I might even know how to use it. It's a bit different from my other lovely Easyshare, but it wouldn't be an Easyshare if it weren't easy to use.

~ I need to get yet another cord so I can sync music to my new cell phone. I now have the memory card, but no cord. GAH! And I will not ...nope will not pay to download music when I have over 6000 mp3s on my own computer.

~ I bought this for mom. has Puff The Magic Dragon on it. I cannot begin to say how scared that makes me. My mother loves that song too. (And I promised to make sure she got to hear the disc) I think I'm going to be skipping over that song a lot.

~ I love this song. Everyone should hear it. I love Grey Eye Glances. They've been playing a lot of shows in the Philly area. Grrrr. Not that I'd ever have anyone to go with. Grrrr. For those of you that don't know, Grey Eye Glances or GEG are a folky, progressive band out of the South Jersey/Philly area. Jennifer Noble has one of the best voices I've heard anywhere.

Grey Eye Glances -...

Listen to this song. Cos I said so! Clicky the little blue button under the birdy.

~ As soon as the household chores are done today I'm going to the gym. I haven't been there in 2 days because of family stuff and bad weather. I need to exercise off my frustrations. Lord knows I have a lot of those right now.

~ I have an idea to keep my writing project going. It's a good idea. I have dialogue lurking about in my head, but I can't bring myself to open the document to work on it. ARGH!

Friday, March 16, 2007

The Continuing Saga Of A Girl & A Fish

The last two days have been very interesting on the Fishy (PH) front. Yesterday I had a nice chat with him while telling him my mum and dad's info about their wedding anniversary. I think I talked to him without sounding like a blithering idiot.

Do I get points for that?

He played Paul Stookey's The Wedding Song (There Is Love) for them. My mum adores that song, so much that I went and ordered the CD for her today. Little did he know that my talking to him was the highlight of my day. I usually only get to talk to him once a week for a few seconds. This was like a bonus for me.

He made mum very happy. She even called him to tell him thanks, cos he was such a nice little Fishy.

This morning while telling a story about the Star Wars 30th Anniversary, he mentioned that last week their was a 100th b-day. I'm still pondering if he was thinking of my grandma. I wonder if he knows I didn't ask him to wish her a happy b-day. Hmmm. Does that mean he was thinking about me this morning, before I called?

~looks hopeful~

I had another little chat when I called in to request my song. Yeah, I couldn't take a week off, if I tried. I need my Fishy fix. I ranted about The Moody Blues' summer tour schedule, because I don't think I'm going to bother to try to see them this time around. I don't want to waste my Atlantic City trip on a concert. It takes up too much time. Plus, and I never thought I'd say this, but the setlist hasn't changed and it's just not worth $100 to see them, though they are still one of my favorite bands.


Now if he'd just think of me enough that he'd want that phone number that I would more than willingly give to him, if he'd just ask.

But hey, at least he knows I exist....this is good.

I think it's quite possible that he likes me too....

Things are looking upward on the Fishy front, right?

Top 5 On Friday - Week 115

It's the wearing o' the green edition of The Top 5 from this particular lady from Music Memoirs

Top 5 musical things (songs, albums, bands..whatever) that put you in the St Patrick's Day mood.

Elvis Costello w/Anuna - Long Journey Home

This is one of my favorite Elvis Costello songs. It's truly a beautiful track and Anuna gives it a gorgeous Celtic sound.

Enya - Then Celts

It's Enya, what more can I say?

Mary Fahl - Going Home

You only have to listen to her voice to understand.

Caroline Lavelle - Bushes and Briars

One of the most beautiful female vocalists out there. She plays harp for Loreena McKennitt

Irish Rovers - Beer Beer Beer

What would St Patty's Day be without a drinking song?

I'd add the Pogues to this list, but if Moody Mistress does the meme this week, she'll have a better pick than I would.

I'm Such A Fool

OK, if I thought he'd come here today...I'd scream at the top of my lungs, "ASK FOR MY PHONE NUMBER, DAMMIT!"

His email hates me...and he checked the blog yesterday...and what he read besides that first post about my parents' anniversary I don't know.

We established this before, but I'm positive it does now.

So, to add to my pain, I don't know if he's getting the emails or not?

Now what's a girl with a huge crush to do? Huh? Huh?

I'm doing my best not to be a pest...My confidence is at a new low. I wish I could just come out and ask him to meet me for coffee or drinks or something somewhere, but considering the email issue I'm too scared, because if I get no reply I wouldn't know if he didn't get the email or if he was just ignoring me. (That and getting a no would probably devastate me at this point) <------- This is what's keeping me from asking when I call in on Fridays. Something I'm not sure I'm going to do today, because fear has taken over.

Every insecurity I have has reared its head.

Am I not pretty enough?

Am I not interesting enough?


I want today to be over, and I just want to go hide somewhere.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

It Was 55 Years Ago Today

I thought it would be nice to share my parents wedding photo. I can only hope to find a love half as strong and as enduring as theirs is.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Today is my mom and dad's 55th wedding anniversary. God bless them. Neither of them has tried to kill one another and both of them still love each other very much.

They are one of the few couples that still allow me to have faith in the institution of marriage which I generally don't care to much for, since most people tend to bail out when the going is rough.

I know my parents have had rough patches, but they worked through their problems and though there wasn't always money for everything they wanted, they made it work and they gave all they could to their three brother, Rudy; my sister, Debby; and myself.

I can only thank them both for being wonderful parents...and its my greatest wish that they have many more years together.