To Quote The Fat Orange Cat

Diet is Die with a T.

Today at Walmart, while I was losing my mind and my last nerve, I stocked up on all kinds of healthy food.

I have yogurt. I have smoothies that are only 65 calories. I have Weight Watchers and Lean Cuisine TV dinners.

I also have a few spiffy workout outfits.

Hey, there's eye candy at this gym. If I'm going to be surrounded by college boys, I want to look cute, even though I'm 32 and none of them would ever give me the time of day. OK, I wouldn't want them to give me the time of day. I didn't want college boys when I was in college.

I somehow decided on 120 as my ideal weight. I'm not sure where I pulled that number from. I was 125 2 years ago when I was working at Curves, that's probably a more reasonable goal.

All I know is that I want to change myself into something different. Someone that will make people stop and notice. No one's ever done that before.

Yeah...I have dreams of being devastingly attractive, ok, maybe not devastating attractive...how about adorable, can I be adorable? I want to be adorable!

There was a song lyric that went "I want to change my clothes my hair my face...."

That's how I feel right now.

Lordy that's a Springsteen song...shoot me! I don't want to feel like a Springsteen song. I'd rather feel like a Madonna song. I want to feel like Causing A Commotion or Open Your Heart, a little bit cheesy...a little bit sexy. I wonder if I could pull off the cone bra? Probably not. But there's a little part of me that would love to try just for shock value.

I think I better concentrate on the diet first. Then I'll work on my image. Do I even have an image? Crap I knew there was something I didn't have. Now I'll just have to get one, but not until I'm sufficiently skinny and sexy...erm maybe I'm pushing it....with the sexy...