What Do You See

When you look in the mirror?

Some days I feel better about myself then others. Lately I haven't felt good about myself at all, and yet I know I'm doing things a bit more healthfully. I exercise regularly.

Still what I see in the mirror isn't what I want to see.

Something isn't right.

Maybe it's my discontent with my life personally and professionally. Maybe it's just that I'm a perfectionist. Or maybe it's just that I spend too much time looking at the magazines filled with 100 lbs wenches, of which I'll never be.

I see myself as pudgy...not to pretty...awkward.

This is not how I want to feel when I look at my reflection.

I know things have happened in recent months that have been a kick to my self-esteem, but I've usually pulled through them much more quickly than this. I guess I should learn not to have too high expectations.

~sigh~

I really need that spa day at the Mountaineer that I promised myself this year. If only I had the money for it. Maybe the people there could make me feel pretty. Of course, miracles seldom happen.

~bigger sigh~

That would be like expecting the object of my desire to stop being such a tard.

The chance of that happening my friends, is as likely as a snowstorm in hell.