Thursday, November 15, 2007

You Can't Make Someone Like You

That's the one thing I've learned in the course of the year. You just can't make someone feel something for you that they don't, even if its just simple friendship.


Even if they felt friendship towards you at one point.

I guess this all stems from my hating to have people angry at me, especially when I've tried to fix things in whatever way I possibly could. I've extended olive branches, I've tried using the most worthless word in the english language, I've done just about everything I could, and I never felt like it was totally accepted.

I was useful when this person wanted to bitch about something or if I knew something that they didn't.

Now that there's nothing that I'm necessary for, I've been pushed aside as a nuisance. At least that's how I feel, because I don't know what's going on, because this person isn't speaking to me right now. Lord knows what I did this time. They could simply be too busy to say anything, but how would I know? So I'll assume that my teasing or general need to communicate was too much and that I fucked up again.

I'm good at that. Apparently my people skills suck. I don't know why I was still trying, except that losing 2 friends in one year is just too much for me, and I wanted to cling to the hope that I could salvage a little bit of one of them.

Big mistake I know, but I've never found it easy to walk away. I still don't. But I guess I have to, even though I don't want to, because I'm never going to know anything. I just need to accept that Sorry doesn't fix anything and that I'm the biggest kind of fool out there.