Massacring The Red Carpet

I was lucky enough to have had the chance to preview Duran Duran's latest offering, Red Carpet Massacre before it hit the stores. Now most people that know me, know that I've been a Duran Duran fan since high school. I picked up on the guys when The Wedding Album came out, because in the 80's I was stuck in the 60's. Go figure, I'm crazy that way.

I loved The Wedding Album and I loved all their previous albums. However after that great record that managed to get them 2 hit singles, everything went downhill. Thank You was an atrocity. It's probably the worst album of cover songs ever done. (OK, not the worst but close to it) Medazzaland is just vile with only 3 or 4 songs to recommend it. Pop Trash is better but not by much.

Astronaut saw the band reforming with all original members and to me the best album they'd done in yonks.

But lets not talk about the past. I listened to Red Carpet Massacre and I had mixed feelings. There's good and bad on this record, and the more I listen the more it seems to be evening out. There are 12 songs on this album, half of them are good and half are vile.

The vile tracks? The ones that feature the strong Timberlake/Timbaland vibe. They take the Duran Duran out of Duran Duran and that's wrong on all counts. Falling Down, the first single is the only song from the odd collaboration that works well. Stay away from Nite Runner and Skin Divers, they are just bad music. (Very bad music)

The title track is full of Simon screaming and making me go WTF, that I'm left speechless, and I'm not sure if it's in a good way or not. This is one of the songs that I like on some days and hate on others.

Box Full O' Honey is a bizarre retro number that sounds psychedelic while having the Duran vibe that we all are used to. I love this song best of all.

Zoom In, Uh...erm...weird...odd...and proof that Simon must be doing some seriously weird drugs, because that's the only explanation I can give for the lyrics.

The Valley - This is all Simon, it has to be. I waffle on this song too. The heavy breathing makes me laugh hysterically though.

Tempted is a get up and dance song. I love this one, even though the dance groove isn't Duran Duran.

She's Too Much - Simon's token ballad. It's almost too much. Really it is. Not as good as Come Undone, but it's nice.

Tricked Out - Wow there's some guitar work on this album. I think. It's a shame they forgot to write lyrics for this. Duran Duran instrumentals are a waste of time and my ears.

Last Man Standing - The album's second ballad, and Simon's trying really hard to write intelligent lyrics. Note I say trying. Writing intelligent lyrics is something Simon will never ever be able to do. I do like the song though. It's catchy, even though it's slow.

Dirty Great Monster - Blergh. Blergh. Blerghity, blergh blergh. Make Simon stop.

All in all, I don't think this is an album that's going to draw new fans to the band. It's not good enough, and I don't think Timberlake and Timberland are going to save them. If this album were a novel it would be a pot boiler. It's only worth having if you are a die hard fan, and I am that, or a person that doesn't mind having only half an album.

Ranking against some of their more recent work makes it seem brilliant though, so it might be worth giving it a listen or two. They've got my $13, I hope they are happy.