101 Things To Do With John Lodge

I did a similar post about Justin Hayward a few months ago. I figured it was time to do one with Lodgey. Inspired by the site, 101 things to do with Simon Le Bon. I'm such a bad girl!

1. Make sure he takes the leather trousers on the summer 2005 tour, and not the leather pocketed jeans.
2. Have him bring a case of Krisemma wine to share with you. Get him drunk and take advantage of him. (Don't tell Kirsten, lest she kicks your butt)
3. Remind him that sunglasses should be worn on your head and not around your neck.

4. Remind him that he wrote some really kick ass songs, and he should get to sing them on tour. (Read my lips Lodgey, Sitting At The Wheel)
5. Spank him when he tries to straighten his unrully curly locks.
6. Take him shopping for clothes, introduce him to a world of color.
7. Ask him where Natural Avenue is...and how can the world be walking on it?
8. Force him into the studio to record that album of "Western Cowboy" tunes.
9. Go golfing with him and when he putts, scream "Nice Ass, Lodgey"
10. Make him buy a respectable vehicle and not an SUV!

Jeep Cherokees are not acceptable!
11. Ask him what Words You Say is about.
12. At 5 in the morning, ask him if he wants to wake up now.
13. Make him shake his groove thang (because he knows what his groove thang is)

14. Make him show you the various Lodgey Looks (like this one)

15. Congratulate him on marrying a cute lady

as opposed to what some other band members walked down the aisle with.

16. Ask him who the pun-ny guy was that came up with the title "Blue Jays"
17. Ask him what it felt like to be in the presence of such beauty.

smack him really hard if he laughs.
18. Two words: Chocolate Sauce
19. Two more words: Whipped Cream.
20. Ask him how many times he's been asked about Nights In White Satin, even though he didn't write it.
21. Tell him that you'll gladly ride his see saw, even if he's just a singer in a rock n' roll band.
22. Ask him to protect you from the scary shadows on the wall.
23. Ask him why Natural Avenue was the only solo album he's done, and then smack him soundly for each lame excuse he gives you.
24. Ask him how his legs get so shiny? Is it shaving or waxing?
25. Get him to do a proper update on John Lodge.com
26. Convince him that when the audience can recite his closing lines to each Moody Blues concert that it's time to come up with something different.
27. Tell him to send you as much wine as he wants.
28. Make him answer the "Boxers, briefs or nothing at all" question. Make him give proof of his answer.
29. Tell him about the nicknames that he's been given "Brain" and "Lodgiculea Moodicuss Cockerspanielious of the family nice asseous"
30. Ask him if he can ever get a word in edgewise when he does interviews with Justin.
31. Go into his closet and find out how many black and white shirts he owns.
32. Ask him who "The One" is about.
33. Ask him why it can't be forever now.
34. Lean on him tonight.
35. Have him armwrestle Justin Hayward to see who's king of the band.
36. Play strip poker with him.
37. Get Minstrel's Song stuck in his head.
38. Fuzzy cuff him to the bed and have your wicked way with him.
39. Get him to explain why he looks like he's in pain when he sings.
40. Take him to the Tiki Lounge in Pittsbugh, buy him several Suffering Bastards, see how well he can handle alcohol stronger than wine.
41. Make him explain the lyrics to every song he's ever written, because some of them don't make any sense at all.
42. Get him to unbutton more than 2 buttons on his shirts while on stage or untie that new shirt of his, so that we can see some skin.
43. Help him get rid of his writers block. (Using force if necessary)
44. Count his chins. (And then wonder why they only multiply some of the time)
45. Make him give you Lodgey hugs for at least 2 hours or until you turn blue from his squeezing!
46. Make him do the Higher and Higher dance with Graeme, see how much it pisses Justin off.
47. Get Justin to give him one more song in the setlist. Threaten to change Isn't Life Strange to Words You Say, if he won't let him.
48. Instead of Casino hopping, take him bar hopping and make him buy all the drinks.
49. Take him to a fondue restaurant and feed him. Make him lick the fondue off your fingers if necessary.
50. See if he can properly ride a motorcyle
51. Ask him what roles the guys are playing in the next Men In Black film

52. Convince him that black tank tops and white shirts don't look good together

53. Get him to button his shirt cuffs, just once and keep them buttoned.
54. Ask him what this look was all about

55. Teach him and Justin for that matter how to clean their guitars.
56. Ask him what kind of faith is he keeping.
57. Ask him how high his hair got in the 80's.
58. Ask him if he ever got as high as his hair in the 80's.
59. Have him recount the activities at the Octave garden party. Find out how long it took for Justin to cut the cake.

60. Ask him what's in the bag Kirsten is carrying, and why she looks so frightened.

61. Find out how they felt when they learned their drummer had been replaced by a reindeer.

62. Make him golf, nekkid!
63. Get him a fitting for new leather trousers. Help him in the dressing room, if needed.
64. Tell him that "The Spirit Of Christmas" is still around, he just has to look hard for it.
65. Make him work his "Magic" on you.
66. Tickle his toes and see if he giggles.
67. Have him find new ways of keeping Justin awake during the songs he doesn't sing.
68. Have him perfect his Star Wars routine with Justin.

69. Sixty Nine! (Like you thought I'd let that one slip by!)
70. Keep him away from cigars!

71. Put on reindeer antlers and see how he reacts.

72. Take him to the beach and rub suntan lotion all over his shiny leggies.
73. Snuggle up to him when he's wearing his warm cashmere coat.
74. Ask him why a women that's 23 should be married with kids of her own as he wrote in Piece of My Heart. Slap him if his answer is stupid.
75. Make him do an impromptu concert, making him sing all the songs Justin won't let him.
76. If he won't do an impromptu concert make him sing Words You Say as a lullaby.
77. Force him to write more songs with Justin, but this time, when it comes to recording them, make him sing them.
78. If that doesn't work, at least make them record another album together. Wait, wouldn't that be another Moody Blues record.
79. Ask him if "January" is going to come out any time before hell freezes over.
80. Make him repeat after you..."No tour with Yes, EVER!" The Moody Blues should stand on their own.
81. Find out how Ray Thomas is. (Someone's had to have spoken to him)
82. Play with his curls until he goes mad.
83. Ask him if Ride My See Saw is really about what we think it's about ~wink wink, nudge nudge~
84. Find out where he's hiding some of the sexy suits he used to wear.
85. While looking for his suits, make him find some of the bass guitars that seemed to have disappeared over the years.
86. Remind him repeatedly that shirtless is sexy.
87. Make him take his wife shopping for clothes. Kirsten could use some new frocks. Come along to oversee her purchases.
88. Make him draw pretty pictures of hands, like he did here.
89. Threaten him if the Moodies don't come to Pittsburgh sometime in the near future that you'll take away his golf clubs and drink all his wine.
90. One word: Kareoke
91. Take him to Wheeling Island to play with the chocolate fountain.
92. Play strip chess with him. (Wish fervently that he doesn't know how to play)
93. Give him a good spanking, just because his butt has been asking for it.
94. Make him wear a Santa hat. It's not fair that Ray and Graeme look foolish.

95. Ask him who the hell was in the space suit.

96. Take him to a laser light show, and see if he's really captivated by all pretty lights or just the ones they use on the road.
97. Ask him if you can be his waterbottle

98. Make him let you take all the nekkid pictures your digital camera can stand. Invite Justin and Gordy and Paul along for the photo shoot. They can join in as well.
99. Dress him in drag.
100. Ask him for sex tips and make him teach you.
101. Repeat the last 100 as necessary.