Wednesday What If

Again another thing I found from Pia's site. The site hasn't updated it's questions but hell I never did these so I guess they'll work. Oddly they are on that subject that I don't believe in: LOVE. So here we go, my first attempt at Wednesday What If.

1. What if you fell in love with someone who insisted that the two of you live happily ever after... on a houseboat?
I would hope that this mythological person had a lot of seasick pills. (turns green) I can see us just floating aimlessly down the Monongahela River...Uh no. I don't think so.

2. What if you could brew a potion to make anyone you want fall in love with you, but you would know it is a magical love and not true love?
OK, I have a potion that could make Elvis Costello fall helplessly in love with me, forever, and you are asking me to care that it's not true love. Have you not heard the live for the minute spontenaity theory. Or perhaps you've never heard the song "Nobody's Side" from the musical Chess.. 'Never make a promise or plan, Take a little love where you can' So the hell with true love. "C'mere Elvis, I've got a nice little drinky poo for ya!" Oh and buh bye Ms. Krall I've just unemployed you...

3. What if you could create the perfect man/woman for you to love?
Weird Science...plastic tubes and pots and pans...Sorry, I couldn't help it. Why the hell not? A combination of all my geeky concubines. The majority of Elvis' sexy persona and voice...combined with the wit and sarcasm of the divine Mr. Proops..combined with a touch of the ornery evilness of Mr. Elfman..Perfection..

"It's Alive"

4. What if your lover wanted to spend their entire life in a single town and never see the rest of the world?
Well...I would hope he liked being alone at least a week a year, cos this girl would so be taking a vacation. If he didn't, oh well, he could be replaced.

5. What if you could look into the future and see the man/woman with whom you would one day fall in love and marry -- would you leap at the chance, or leave it to be a surprise adventure?

Sure, cos I it would make me believe in love. It would also be nice to pinpoint the day when hell freezes over. Surprises are not my favorite thing either.