5 Reasons Why I Hate The Heat

1. I do not like my butt to become permenantly attached to any object, especially chairs when I'm wearing a pair of shorts. Car seats are the worst and I thank my lucky stars that I bought some cheesy fuzzy seat covers for Bernie the Beretta.

2. Burnt fingers are not fun and it's really necessary to hold the steering wheel in order to drive the car.

3. Everyone is flipping crabby!!! Why? Because it's so darn hot and it's damn hard to get cool. After awhile, even the air conditioning doesn't feel good.

Repeat after me.

I'm Melting!!!



4. Your ice cream melts before you get the chance to eat it. Damn it, I didn't order ice cream soup!!

(Why are there no gelato bars in my area?)

5. Running around naked is frowned upon. (Plus it would be very traumatizing to a lot of people)