You Must Love Me

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I suppose that's why I've been depressed lately. Not to worry though, I don't have any plans of going down the dark hallway of depression very long. It's just when I look back on the last 30 years, I see so many mistakes and bad choices. That's not to say that I haven't had some great experiences over those years. I've told many of you some of them.

I've had the opportunity to see many of the bands I love in concert and I've met a few of them. I've seen Paul McCartney back when tickets to see him were only 28 dollars! That was in 1990.

My problem has always been that I want to fit in with people. I want people to like me. I spent high school trying to be popular. I wanted to have the clothes from the Limited etc. Somehow I thought that would help. It doesn't.

Still, I've always wanted to be superbly dressed. Clothes have been almost as imporant to me as music. Only now, I can't go to the Limited, cos I can't afford the damn place, so I live at Dots

I put a lot into appearances. I always want to look just right, but that very seldom happens. Something always throws a wrench in the works. Usually a zit or something like that. It sucks to be 30 and still get zits. Crikey was puberty not enough? Obviously not.

So here I am a 30..cos what's a week...year old with zits...who's a trifle too chubby for her own good. GAH! BTW..if you want good news..I'm down another pound! Woot!

So it's not all that bad. It's just not great. I want so much and that so much is beyond my grasp.

In my reflections, I realized that this was never where I thought I'd be at this point in my life, but then again only a lucky few are where they want to be and are content with their lives.

I know I hoped that by thirty I'd have had a novel published. HA! I have a novel finished and a second one in the midway point, but I doubt either of them will see the light of day.

All this because the Moody Blues show in Atlantic City...started some memories flowing ...and depression sunk in. Thanks Moody Men! I needed that!

Can I go back to Atlantic City now? I miss the boardwalk. I miss the kewl clothes and food...and THE OCEAN!

BTW...anyone know how to tie a short sarong skirt?

Enough bitchin and moaning for the day...I'll leave you with something pretty.



Pardon me while I ponder how to get him to undo a few more buttons and remove a few other articles of clothing