It's All Over Now Baby Blue

It's All Over Now Baby Blue

I think this is just a random bunch of thoughts by me. There was so much going through my mind yesterday, so much that I would have liked to have gotten down here or somewhere, but my darkest thoughts only intrude when I'm at work and depressed.

~I've been depressed a lot lately, some of it stems from the end of the concerts, some of it from the bad work situation I'm in and the rest from the 30th birthday that is looming 10 days from now. I can't quite get a grip on it, but it doesn't make me feel good, and all I want to do is cry.

~I have never seen the sea...for those of you that saw Van Helsing, I felt much like Anna Valerius until this weekend, when I finally saw the beauty of the Atlantic Ocean. Dammit,why was Atlantic City so beautiful? Why did I have to come back to my boring miserable life? I didn't even have the chance to swim. I did stick a toe in the Atlantic though. Yay me!

~Had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. That was part of my nervousness yesterday. The job is so very close to home, it's actually in walking distance. Stuff like that, that is so good, just never happens to me. I would be so happy working 8-5 in a job where I could actually be doing something productive, working with customers again and enjoying my job. I haven't enjoyed a job in such a long time.

~It's been a week since the first Moody Blues concert. I'm still feeling Moody Blue.

~I've finally gone below 155 on the scale, it's down now one pound below, which is a first. It's been months since the scale budged that much. Now if only I could get it to sink about 4 more pounds so I don't lose hope. I don't want to be a chubby monster at 30. I want to be pretty and thin. I want people to notice me. I'm like Eyor, no one notices me. I don't really want anyone intruding on my life, but it would be nice to know someone was looking.

~I'm sick of being sick. For the last week, I've had the blahs...or the blechs or whatever. I hate being nauseaous. On a plus that's probably what has helped me lose the weight, that and the boardwalk at Atlantic City. I need to go back there and walk a bit more!

~I need a pair of black opera length gloves. I'm wearing a really pretty black dress to the theatre on my birthday and I want the gloves to complete the outfit. I hope Claire's has some leftover from prom.

~Had prints made of a few of my Moody pix...going to get the gorgeous one of J'tin blown up so I can look at him every morning when I wake up, so that I remember why I wake up. It's the music. If it weren't for the music...it wouldn't be worth waking up at all.