Surgery Scheduled For Thursday

My dad's surgery is scheduled for Thursday. I'm nervous, even though this is outpatient surgery. It is likely that he'll have to stay overnight.

My brain is full of thinky thoughts.

I fucking hate thinky thoughts.

I realize that he's 84 and I've got to reconcile myself to the knowledge that things like this are going to happen and that someday I'm not going to have him or mom, but damn it, I'm not ready to deal with that, and I hate when things happen that make me think that way.

I don't know how I'd cope. I don't know how mom would cope or how I'd take care of her.

See, this is why I hate thinky thoughts. My mind always goes straight for the worst case scenario, and this is freaking outpatient surgery to remove bladder stones and to correct an enlarged prostate.

Oh and guess who gets to be the only family member to sit at the hospital while all of this is going on?

Yeah, ME!

Suckery!

Fear and Suckery!