The Tracks Of My Tears

Yesterday was a rough one. It seemed like every time I turned around the tears were ready to come.

I was really missing grandma and that all started at my brother's house. He has an awesome digital frame, but it seemed like whenever I looked at it a picture of gram was up.

I miss gram terribly.

I miss hearing her say she loves me more.

I miss sharing books with her.

I miss her hugs.

I even miss the stuff that used to annoy me, like doing the laundry on Saturday morning when I'd rather be sleeping in, or getting her mail when I was tired and being a lazy bitch that didn't want to walk across the street.

I miss her asking me if anything went on at work. I hate that I've had things that were actually interesting or weird happen lately and I can't tell her.

I miss her voice.

Just when I think its getting better something comes to mind and I'm bawling again. I know its only been a few months but it doesn't change the fact that gram was a huge part of my life and every day I realize more and more what a gaping hole her passing has left in my life.

I know it seems childish but I want my grandma