Why Is It So Hard?

I've been trying to weed out clothes I don't wear anymore because I don't fit in them or just don't like them etc. I'm hoping to clear out space in my closets and drawers. No matter what I do, I can't get it all down.

I don't know why there are things I just can't part with, even though I know I'll never wear them again. I'm not even sure if some of them have sentimental value. I think its just that I don't feel I got my money's worth out of the garmets.

Does that make sense?

I'm sure its some warped woman's logic that I'm applying here, or maybe I just don't want to get rid of things.

I have a rule with books that I don't pass it on to Goodwill or a friend until I've read it or am sure that I've read it before. I just can't easily toss books, even if they are my cheesy Harlequins.

Maybe I need those Hoarders people to come and do an intervention? LOL!

Missing Monday (on Tuesday)

In the last week I've really been missing "the people and things that went before." If I wasn't shedding tears for gram, I was crying over Mutchka or Purrbee or Itchy or Coco. I miss all of them dreadfully.

I know in the next 30 days I'll be missing grandma more as the anniversary of her death approaches.

For as long as I live I don't think I'll ever be able to forget coming into her dark house and calling out for her. Then rushing up to the top of the steps to find her lying on the floor, already gone.

The fear still shakes me. I can even hear my own screams echoing.

I was so afraid. I was scared to touch her and she was my grandma, but that knowledge of death kept me from doing it, as if death were contagious. I remember clinging to my mother, and crying..."she's gone."

I felt so powerless.

That was probably the most life changing event I ever experienced. I would give anything to change April 26, 2008. The worst day of my life.

Gram..I miss you.

Why Can't I Read On The Weekends?

This is a phenomenon that I just can't figure out. I buy books on weekends, but I can never manage to sit down and read one. I'm always doing other things or going someplace. Even when I want to relax I can't.

This weekend I had to write a CD review. I have another one due soon too. The one I reviewed Saturday night was horrid and I wastes several hours of my life to come up with a review that didn't shout, "OMG don't fucking quit your day jobs!"

I wanted to say that, mind you, but I didn't. I tried to find some positives to go with the negatives. I probably should stop doing that. I hate to give a really crap artist false hope, and I might have done that.

This could have been time spent reading a good book and I have a "to be read" pile that's threatening to fall over.

I'm hoping that I can catch up on some of the reading I missed out on tonight in between Chuck and Castle. Damn, Mondays for being such a good TV night!

Lazy Sundays

Like The Bangles tune Manic Monday "Sunday's my fun day." Its the only day of the week that I don't usually have to run around for something or another. I can take a PJ day or do whatever.

Sundays are my day of relaxation, and that's what I plan to do today.

RELAX!

My only plans today are for dinner. I'm going to take my father out, which is my usual Sunday ritual. Dad likes to go for dinner on Sunday afternoon. At most I may stop by Walmart (shudders) to pick up some food for the cats. (Wouldn't want to become dinner for a passel of hungry kittehs)

So I'm going to turn up the Gordon Lightfoot on my computer and I'm going to pick up that wonderful historical romance I was trying to read yesterday and I'm going to pretend like the world around me doesn't exist for a few hours.

Hope you all have a great Sunday!

A Day Of Books and Music

I'm working on a not so fantastic CD review right now. I have to admit that after about 12 listens its growing on me. Kind of like a bad fungus. You can listen to the music here. I'd kind of like someone else to give me an opinion on it so I know if I'm losing my mind on with my take on the sound. I hear a huge influence from Journey and Foreigner and some of the lyrics sound like they came from the film Music and Lyrics. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

On a happier note, I've been to Goodwill, which means I've bought books. Yes, I know. I need more books like I need a hole in my head, but with movie prices on the rise, a good book is a more economical source of entertainment. Plus I got some really great buys on some Chick lit, and we all know how much I love Chick lit.

I've also been reviewing a lot of the romance novels I've been reading as well as the other stuff over at my book blog, here. Sometimes I even blog about book stuff. I'm really proud of myself. I've read 38 books so far this year and 2 or 3 novellas (about 80 pages). I really wish I could spend more time this weekend with my books than with this damn CD.

Top 5 On Friday

You guys know the drill. Play along in the comments or in your journal. This meme is created for my site Music Memoirs. Feel free to go there and check out my other weekly memes and play along.


Top 5 artists you have to own everything or everything you can afford


Mostly these are all bands that I buy as much as I can afford.

1. Erasure/Andy Bell: I own CD singles and bootlegs and anything I can usually get my hands on when it comes to this band.

2. Elvis Costello: Right now I'm down 3 albums and its killing me. I have reissues of reissues! How bad is that?

3. The Moody Blues: I have more best of compilations than these guys have studio albums and that's sickening. Right now I'm missing one live album, and that's because I'm sick of them not putting out a studio album.

4. Duran Duran: I hate myself for loving them. If their next album is as shitty as Red Carpet Massacre, I will not be wasting my money on them anymore.

5. Keri Noble: One of my favorite female singers and I buy as much of her stuff as I can. I've even done the digital download thing for her Christmas EP. I will own the CD when I can justify its inflated Japanese import cost.

Thursday Already?

Granted I am happy that the weekend is fast upon us, but I would like to know where the hell my life is going, because I'm sure not doing much of anything.

Le sigh.

The huge amount of excitement I had in my life last night involved watching 2 TV shows. That's pretty sad. The other burst of excitement I had was going to Walmart, which actually is quite pathetic, because there's no excitement to be found at Walmart.

I just wish there was something going on that is worth discussing. I'm sick of listening to debate on health care and truthfully I'm ashamed of each and every republican out there, and Sarah Palin who is a wingnut of her own variety makes me wish that I was born anywhere but the USA.

Can't there be something exciting happening that isn't aggravating?

Bigger Le sigh.

But I am alive so I guess its all good, right?

Has Anyone Watched Parenthood?

Now that my USA shows have wrapped up for the time being, I was left with nothing to watch last night. I tried to get some reading in, as well as some sleep, since my cough from hell is still lurking, but I was still slightly awake at 10 o'clock.

So I thought, why not give Parenthood a try.

No, I'm not having children, I'm just going to watch a new show on NBC.

I managed to stay awake for part of it, but what I saw I thought was actually pretty decent. It wasn't as good as my USA Shows but its also a different kind of show. Its one of those dramadies, part drama, part comedy and I think it works.

I think its being killed in the ratings, so I'm not expecting it to last very long, but it was far from awful and its better than another stupid cop/lawyer/medical drama.

Anyone else watching this?

Tuesday Tunes: Week 125

From Music Memoirs

Let's talk about books and music:

1. What is your favorite rock bio or autobiography?
I have to say that I totally loved Loretta Lynn's A Coal Miner's Daughter. She didn't really hold much back and the story was entertaining and gave me a better appreciation of her music.

2. What musician do you wish would write their life story?
No question about it; Elvis Costello. A runner up would be Paul McCartney

3. If you could write a biography of an artist living or dead, who would it be and why?
I think I would pick Justin Hayward or John Lodge, mostly because there aren't any stories out there about The Moody Blues or their music. Plus I really believe either of these guys would have some amusing tales to share.

Our Neighbors Dogs

Our neighbors have 3 sharpeis, you know those big wrinkly dogs? Well, they've now learned how to jump over the fence to come visit us and they do it with regularity.

In the middle of the night, the male dog, Bear, was barking at our front door to be let in. He's apparently not stupid and knows that we love animals. Plus he wants to play. All the time. He's about 100 lbs of playful dog.

This wouldn't be a problem if we didn't have our own dog, who only weighs about 15 lbs. Not that the neighbors dog is mean. There's not a nasty bone in his body, but our little mutt likes to pick fights. He was always trying to pick a fight with Purrbee when he was alive and I think he was lucky that Purrbee didn't kick his butt.

I don't want to get the dogs in trouble either, because I love the wrinkly little buggers. They can't help it if they don't want to be around people that aren't paying them any attention.

Which brings me to my rant; if you don't have the time to spend keeping your dog amused and contented, you have no business having a dog. Dogs need people. If you want a fairly low maintainance pet, get a cat. Cats only need people to feed them and clean up after them. I know this, I have cats. I also have dogs. So I think I can safely note the differences in the species.

I feel sorry for these sharpeis, they are very playful and loving animals and they just want that in return.

Missing Mondays

Since I got the freelance job reviewing music I find that I actually miss enjoying music.

Why is that?

Because I end up spending hours listening to one particular CD that I may or may not love or care about and then I have to write about it, at least 500 words if not more.

It really has sapped my love for music in recent months and that's not to say I haven't received any great CDs. I have adored the music by Shady Cats.

I don't feel like I get the chance to really sit down anymore and enjoy something just for the sake of listening to something and that's really not fun at all. It is also something I really never thought I'd say. I'm just not enjoying music as much as I used to. That's criminal if you ask me.

I want to enjoy music again!

Feeling Argumentative

I'm sick of my republican brother bashing everything Obama does.

Now I'm in no way backing everything he's been doing, but I don't think he's doing a horrible job considering what he was left with.

As for health care, I don't know whats right or wrong anymore. I'm just sick of those with health care feeling that because they can afford it or are lucky enough to have a job that offers insurance that's worthy of having, that no one else deserves that right or should have help getting it.

I pay $159 a month for coverage out of my own pocket and I still have a deductible around $1300 before my coverage kicks in at 90/10.

Not great but it gets the job done sometimes.

I don't think its right that the government says all children should have coverage and not the parents that have to take care of the children.

Everyone should be able to go to the doctor without having to worry about going into debt with medical bills. I don't care if you make a million a year or $10,000 a year. Plus if you are in the lower income brackets, and I am, its hard to make that decision to purchase health coverage because you have other bills to pay. What's more important?

Think about that.

And why is the poor person's life not worth as much as a millionaires? There are people that love them and need them.

Again, I don't think the health care bill that may or may not pass is the perfect solution, but something has to be done. The system is broke beyond belief.

Weird Dreams

I wasn't even under the influence of Nyquil last night and I was having wacky dreams. I was in a hotel for some function and I was flirting mercilessly with Michael Crawford. Yeah, Michael Crawford, of The Phantom Of The Opera.

I have no idea where that dream came from, but it does get weirder.

The hotel where we were staying or at for the function was full of snakes and the elevators weren't working properly.

Oh and my grandmother was at the church function and I was complaining about the cake, because I wanted to eat it but I need to lose weight and it was tempting me terribly.

Yeah. It was one of the goofiest dreams I've had in ages. I have no idea where it came from but it was certainly entertaining in parts.

I don't care how old Michael Crawford is, he's a damn handsome man.

Top 5 On Friday

Top 5 power pop songs


You guys know the drill. Play along in the comments or in your journal. This meme is created for my site Music Memoirs. Feel free to go there and check out my other weekly memes and play along.

1. Fountains Of Wayne - Stacey's Mom: Probably one of the most overplayed and slightly obnoxious earworms of its time, but it is still one of the best power pop songs of the last 20 years.

2. Cheap Trick - I Want You, To Want Me: One of the best Trick songs and probably one of the best power pop songs ever.

3. Jellyfish - Baby's Coming Back: You've probably not heard of this one, but its still awesome and catchy and cute.

4. Nick Lowe - Cruel To Be Kind: This is probably one of my favorite songs period, power pop or otherwise.

5. Weezer - Buddy Holly. This song is brilliant and the video is adorable

Overworked

Somehow I got unlucky this month and I was assigned 4 reviews, all of which arrived in my mailbox at the same time, meaning I have 2 weeks to write at least 2000 words, preferrably good words about these artists. Three of those days were spend with me being sick.

ARGH!

I do have one of the reviews completed and ready to be sent. Thank god. I only wish that little 4 song EP had been more exciting or word worthy.

The review I'm working on tonight is by a NC band called the Shady Cats. I've only listened to half of it, and I'm already in love. So this one shouldn't be too difficult. It always helps me to write when I'm enjoying what I'm reviewing at least a little bit. Not that I didn't like the other EP, I just find it challenging to come up with 500 words for 4 little songs.

I actually miss reviewing the children's music. I had some really wonderful stuff sent to me last year.

I just hope I can motivate myself to do at least a review a day, so that I can have them all done by Monday.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I'm not Irish, but I will be celebrating St. Patrick's Day by eating corned beef brisket and potatoes for dinner, along with some cabbage. I also plan to have at least one beer. I can't guarantee that its going to be green, because I really don't want to leave the house. Maybe if I'm feeling particularly frisky I 'll put on Danny Boy and dance a jig, but I'm pretty sure my frisky is still down for the count.

I'm actually crossing my fingers that I'll be able to taste the damn corned beef tonight. I haven't been able to taste much of anything for the last 7 days.

Yeah, I've had a killer cold.

The remnants of that cold aren't going to stop me from enjoying the only part of the holiday that I can enjoy. (I mean, I really have no right to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I'm not Irish)

But to all of you that are Irish or just need an excuse to Par-Tay, Happy St. Patrick's Day

Off To Alice In Wonderland

If it kills me I will be at the 5:10 show today. I have wanted to see the movie since it came out and I was supposed to see it this weekend, but I was too damn sick.

Well today, I feel remotely like myself, so I am gathering up the nephew and piling into my old jalopy and we are making our way to the movie theater.

So this movie better be good!

Why?

I don't usually leave my house on a week night for a movie. I'm doing that for Alice. So damn it, it better deliver.

The Weekend From Hell

I pretty much slept through all of yesterday. I don't think I can remember when I've felt that sick. Usually I get a sinus cold here and there, I'm pretty sure I was walking around with the flu since Wednesday.

I took Nyquil last night at around 8:30 and zoned for awhile, but last night my Mom and nephew decided to chatter like magpies and I couldn't sleep.

I've got Nyquil sea legs and its almost 9:30.

Not a good thing.

I just want to resume normal or as close to normal life as I possibly can, but so far that's not happening.

I haven't eaten a full meal in days because I can't taste a damn thing and I've determined that when you can't taste food, why bother.

Oh and I'm cranky as hell, which is about the only thing about me that's still normal.

My Weekend Is Screwed

I have the remainders of the horrid cold/flu whatever the hell it was I caught this past week, so I'm staying home today instead of catching Alice In Wonderland.

I'm not happy about that.

I'm hoping tomorrow I feel alive enough to try to get to the movie, but I'm not holding out much hope.

I feel like crap.

I can't even concentrate on a damn book that's how lousy I'm feeling.

Oh and can I just mention that I can't taste a damn thing.

Top 5 On Friday

I've moved my meme site to blogger. Music Memoirs can now be found here



Top 5 musical things that make you think of St. Patrick's Day

1. Danny Boy: One of the prettiest and saddest Irish tunes around.

2. The Irish Rogues - Beer Beer Beer: Ireland and Beer? Of course! Plus how can you not love a song that goes "beer beer beer, diddly beer beer beer?"

3. The Cranberries: When I think of Ireland and St. Patrick's Day, this is one of the bands that always comes to mind, the other,

4. The Pogues: If you click the link you will see them performing Irish Rover with another great Irish band, The Dubliners. But if you do...beware of some close ups of THE MOUTH! Its kinda creepy.

5. Clannad: The beautiful Celtic music of this band always gets me thinking of St Patrick's Day and Ireland.

Now pass me a plate of corned beef and cabbage and some beer!

Still Sick

Finally we have spring like temperatures and I'm so sick that I can't enjoy them. All I can enjoy is raspberry zinger tea and soup.

Boo Hiss!

I feel achy, wobbly and I coughed so hard last night that my side hurts.

Can I please have a pity party now?

I have so much I need to get done at home and the only thing I can think of right now, is when I can crawl back under the covers and sleep for another 8-10 hours. The only thing I want to eat is soup and crackers.

BAH!

I just want to feel better by the weekend. I have plans to see Alice In Wonderland on Saturday and if I miss out on that I will be a sulky girl of the worst kinds

It Took All Winter

We are finally getting to the warm days and guess what? I'm getting a stupid cold. I'm totally congested and now the tickle has arrived in my throat and I have a cough.

Woo-fucking-hoo!

This is not fair.

I wouldn't have minded as much if I were sick when there was 2 feet of snow on the ground.

Now the weather is gorgeous and I'd like to get out and walk and really start exercising again, so I get a cold.

I can't even crawl back under the covers. I have to sit at work and hack up a lung.

This is totally not fun. Not fun at all.

Excuse me while I hunt down some cough drops and some Tussin DM

Best Picture?

You know there is one thing that really annoys me about the Oscars and that so many of the films involved aren't seen by the general public.

They were talking about Hurt Locker and the fact that more people watched the Oscars than that movie.

Now I'm not saying that it isn't deserving of awards, but when it comes awards like Best Picture, I think the amount of people that actually saw the movie should be taken into consideration.

Also I would love for a comedy to get nominated and win Best Picture. Surely someone can write such a thing.

Yes, its wonderful that a woman finally won for best director, yay! But there are so many other things in Hollyweird that need to change. I think I would have been more excited if Up! would have won best picture, now that would have been an Oscar upset.

That said, I seldom see the movies that are up for that particular award, because they are too snooty. I go to the movies for escapism and stuff like Hurt Locker won't do it for me.

Missing Mondays

I'm missing a couple of different things today.

1. G.C. Murphy's: I loved the 5 & 10. What I loved the most about these stores was the little diner/restaurant in each one. These stores had the best club sandwiches and hamburgers. I remember eating there with my mom and dad growing up and also with my grandma when she took me downtown.

2. Used book stores: When I was in college there were alot of them in the area. There was even one in my little hamlet of Charleroi On Mon. Now I have to travel at least a half hour to find a good one, other than Goodwill.

3. Harvest House: This was an awesome cafeteria style place located next to Woolworth's in South Hills Village. They made awesoem croquettes and roast beef. It really sucks that this place went out of business so that a Pimp-acrombie and Bitch store could open and Woolworth's closed for a Liz Claiborne store.

Anyone want to let out a big sigh with me?

Listening To Love Never Dies

Andrew Lloyd Webber is apparently desperate for inspiration, so he's gone ahead and created a sequel to The Phantom Of The Opera. I was able to listen to the Original Cast Recording today and I have only one thing to say about it.

BLECH

The story just doesn't feel right. Maybe because I really loved Gaston Leroux's story and I know that when the last page turned, that story was over, the Phantom was dead. He didn't live to go to Coney Island as part of a freak show.

GAH!

Andrew Lloyd Webber should be ashamed of himself. Actually from what I've heard of the musical, he should be ashamed of the whole thing. Its beyond disappointing, its boring and where The Phantom had so many songs that are recognizable, this show has nothing.

If this show wins any awards, I will know for sure that all awards shows are fixed.

Late Night Posting

It was a busy day today. I did my usually shopping and took in the sales at Peebles Department Store. Oh how I love this store. There was a lot of clearance red lined to $5.99, which was fantastic. I also found a pair of jeans for $20, which is great because I only own 2 pairs of jeans. So good buys all.

I also managed to get my Starbucks fix in for the week. I have one rant on that. Why does the Starbucks in Rostraver not have Raspberry Syrup? Huh? If I go to the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble, I can get my White Chocolate Mocha with a shot of raspberry, but not at home.

Grrrrr.

That makes me so angry. Cos I love raspberry in my white chocolate mocha.

Oh and another great thing about today; Key Lime Chicken at Applebees. OMG this stuff is so bad for the waistline, but its so damn good that you forget that it has about 80 bazillion calories.

So how was your Saturday?

Top 5 On Friday

From Music Memoirs

Top 5 concert experiences

1. Deni Bonet @ Oglebay Resort last year. The show was awesome and Deni was totally sweet to everyone that wanted to talk to her after the show and between sets.

2. Paul McCartney @ The Civic Arena 90-ish: It was the Flowers In The Dirt Tour..and I was in peanut heaven of The Civic Arena, but it was Paul McCartney!

3. Elvis Costello @ AJ Palumbo Oct 2003: My first Costello show and truly awesome since I met the man afterward. I got a hug and kiss from him too.

4. Peter Noone @ State Theater in Uniontown: I got to be part of a Meet and Greet, and had crazy awesome seats. I adore Peter though sadly this was when my crush on Fishy began.

5. The Music Of Andrew Lloyd Webber sometime in the 90s: Michael Crawford was the headliner. Can you say religious experience?

Frustrations

There's a lot going on at the homefront that's very distressing to my mother and thus becoming distressing for me.

I live with my parents. Yes, I'm soon to be 36 but its for the best all the way around. My nephew also lives with us. He's 24 and when he wanted to start school things got messed up and so far he's done nothing with his life. Its been distressing to all of us, but its allowed someone to be home with my mom and dad while I'm at work. Mom is 76 and dad will be 84 in a few weeks.

My youngest nephew is graduating and is planning on starting school in Oct at PTI which is pretty out of the way to commute. Its near the airport. Well his folks have finally decided it was time to convince their oldest son to go to school. Hmmm. Why has it taken them this long?

Oh yeah, they think he's going to get a free ride somehow. Now don't get me wrong I think he'll qualify for some financial aid, but I'm not sure how much or if they will have enough to help him pay.

ARGH!

It seems like they are pointing him towards the same school as his brother, but there are two things that bug us all. The two brothers get along, but not that well and the youngest expressed that he didn't want to room with his older brother if he were to decide to go to school there.

ARGH again.

Then there's the problem of what to do about mom and dad if he does decide to go there? We all got into the mindset that he was around to take care of them when I couldn't be and neither are good to watch the other. Dad's hearing is lousy and mom's had as many heart attacks as Dick Cheney and has trouble walking.

So much to worry about.

And we all want whats best for both nephews too, but the worries are getting to be huge right now. Which isn't helping my expanding waistline any either. But that's a totally different rant.

Things That Make Me Go Hmmm

Is it possible to be exhausted from doing absolutely nothing? If so, I'm pretty sure I am. My mom blames it on the weather. I blame it on that too in part.

I'm ready for spring.

I'm sick of sitting around staring at the same walls day in and day out. I'm sick of doing absolutely nothing.

Its getting old.

I'm starting to feel like the computer is actually an extension of my body. That kind of depresses me.

I just wish I could feel more energetic right now. More motivated. These blahs have got to go.

I'm Not Looking Forward To This

I love reviewing music. I love music in general. I love writing about it. I love getting paid to write about it.

That said I have this really gorgeous CD to review, but its difficult because its an instrumental. I always find it hard to come up with good words to describe an album without lyrics.

Its a good thing the album is really gorgeous, except you can't say that in a review. Oh and while I'm complaining about not having the words for this one, allow me to add that its a double album!

ARGH!

I'm really going to be working for my pay on this one. If I disappear its because my exploded while trying to write this review!

My Lottery Dreams

First let it be said that I seldom if ever play the lottery. I seldom, if ever get, to a casino to plunk a few bucks into a slot machine, even though that's one of my favorite money wasting amusements and on occasion I come out even or with a few extra bucks too!

But all that aside, even though I don't gamble much, I still have lottery dreams. I think we all do.

So if the money fairy were to show up and make a huge deposit into my bank account, what would I do?

Well a few years ago, I probably would have said travel around the world, follow a few of my favorite artists/bands and generally live it up.

Well that was then, this is now, as the old song goes.

Now I would find a nice one story house, become a crazier cat lady than I already am and generally become a hermit. I'd take a few trips a year, but mostly I'd huddle up in my nice warm house with my farm of cats and dogs and be left alone.

Yup, that's my dream and I'm sticking to it.