I Need Something To Do

I think all this time sitting by myself has been a detriment to my mind. If that makes sense. Being alone with ones thoughts is not always a good thing, especially when one is a compulsive worrier like I am.

I need to step away from the computer more, I think, because when I'm online I want to look up stuff about floaters or bug the people I know that have had them, because I'm worried.

I've never really had anything wrong with me before. I'm nearsighted with astigmatism, yes, but other than that and having a UTI once a few summers ago, I've had nothing wrong with me.

To discover these little floating dots that don't go away is hard to deal with. I don't want to drive my car because I get preoccupied with them once I see them. Plus sometimes I see one, other times I think I see more, especially if I look up into any light or go into a white room. Its totally maddening.

I need to relax and be able to stop thinking about these things, but right now I can't seem to do it. I just want to sit alone in the dark. I don't even want to read right now, and that hurts me, because I love books.

I want to talk to people, but these damn floaters are the only thing on my mind so I'm sure I'd be bad conversation to.