Too Many Towels

How many towels does one family need? A family of 4 perhaps?

I'm trying to figure out the equation because I swear I'm drowning in a sea of mismatched, obnoxious towels!

I figure if every person in this house had 3 or 4 towels that would be enough?

Why do I have 5 cubes full of freaking towels of every size imaginable?

Again, none of them freaking match!

Oh and there are beach towels too...you know from the days a long long time ago when Mom, Dad and I would go to the wonderful state parks in the Laurel Highlands and..GASP...SWIM!

I really want to burn all these nasty little blighters and start over. I'd really love to have towels that matched SOMETHING!!

Maybe I'm asking for too much? But I don't think so.