Triggers

Some people have triggers for anxiety issues, I have them for tears, at least where my grandmother is concerned.

Yesterday I went to get my summer hair. Yes, I cut the longer locks off. I hate long hair in the summer. I prefer my pixie cut but that's beside the point.

Two of the hair stylists were talking about an 88 year old woman that was still living in her house on her own. I sat there as my stylist snipped away, thinking that gram lived in her house on her own til the day she passed at 101 years of age.

I wanted to say something but didn't because I didn't want to have to start talking about gram. Until they mentioned their Emma.

I always find it funny when someone called her that. I swear only the ladies at the salon did. Everyone else called her grandma or Mrs. Rehula. In nearly 35 years, I never heard my gram called her first name alone. Relatives may have called her aunt Emma, but never just Emma.

I forced the tears back as they asked me how long its been since she passed, even though I wanted to scream that its been nearly 1 year and a month.

My gram was a special lady and I don't think I'll ever get over not having her around.