Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Wish I Could Change In My Life

1. My mum's health. If I had my way she'd live forever. The heart cath is scheduled for Tues. June 13. I hope all goes as well as it can at this point.

2. My career. I'd like to have one. At nearly 32 I should have one and not be floating around wishing and hoping for something good to take hold. I really should think of doing something to get my photography noticed. I just have such a fear of failing that I get stuck in ruts.

3. My body aka my fatness. I've hit a point where the scale keeps wobbling up again. Then down a bit..and back up. Will I never hit 125 and just stay there, or will my body forever hunt down it's favored 135? Blech!

4. My fears. I have many. They keep me from doing so much. I wish I could conquer them, so I could be free to do some things that I really need to do.

5. My dependence on others. I know everyone is dependent on at least one person, but I feel like there are far too many people that I depend on for my life to continue. One day soon I'm really going to fall apart.

6. I would love to be less passionate about things. It gets me into so much damn trouble sometimes. If I love things, I love them with all my heart.

7. I'd be less of a wuss and more agressive. I cower way too much when my fears take over. I can speak my mind to family and close friends, but no one else.

8. I'd be able to cope with mistakes and failures. (And lordy I have many of both)

9. I'd have more friends that weren't online. It's funny. All the people that were close to me have drifted out of my life in one way or another. It makes me very sad.

10. I'd not be so lazy about things I don't want to do, like cleaning/job hunting.

11. My ugly mug. I'd definitely love to have a total makeover, hair, makeup ...the whole 9 yards, but my hair fights every stylist it meets and the prettiness created would only last a day.

12. My single state. I feel like I'll never have a significant other ever.

13. My financial state. I was once very meticulous with my money...then I worked retail and it all fell apart. I'd love to get back to being able to only buy what I had money for.