Short Duran Duran Fanfic

Ok..I thought I'd take this story from my website and share it with you... This one is going out to Poppie..I'm going to see if I can make her die laughing...which I can imagine is the second best way to die..First best way..well..that's easy..and it would recquire either Greg Proops or Elvis Costello to be there...and naked...

So here's a story I wrote in my first year of college and in the height of my duran duran fandom (cos I picked up on them..as they were sinking)
Mtv Mind Control
or
the Adventures of Captain Big Thing and Boy Simon


Prologue



It was a quiet day in a small English town. The suburbanites sat sipping tea or lemonade while reading the morning paper. All seemed perfectly normal. Their paper was filled with it's usual headlines, a fire here, a robbery there. Nothing that would shock anyone or cause a major stir.
In other words, this day, August 23, 1993, was destined to be boring, or so they thought.

As the day rolled on. . .

One by one the teenagers awoke. It was too hot outside to be active. It was the kind of day that made people, young and old,lazy. Even the dogs found shady spots to sit and pant. The teenagers were apt to be restless. Books would not hold their attention. So after the daily dose of morning talk shows they, one by one, switched to Mtv.

It started with the harmless video by Blind Melon. The little girl in the bumble-bee suit danced about, as the young suburbanites It started with the harmless video by Blind Melon. The little girl in the bumble-bee suit danced about, as the young suburbanites yawned. This was followed by the Spin Doctors and then Soul Asylum. By then the suburbanites were getting restless. When would they see the new Duran Duran video?

Alas after an unusually long commercial break, their living rooms were filled with the sound of Naughty by Nature's Hip Hop Hooray. Would this torture never cease?

Suddenly the station's signal scrambled. Then two women appeared on the screen. " Hi, my name's Claire" "and mine's JulieAnn. We're here to tell you that we've taken over Mtv. We'll be playing all of the videos you hate, and you'll never see another Duran Duran video. And don't think of changing the channel. We have total control over your set." With a maniacal laugh, thetwo wicked women played Whitney Houston's stomach turning rendition of "I Will Always Love You" 5 times.

The torture continued through the afternoon, as Claire and Julie Ann inflicted all of England with videos by Debbie Gibson, Tiffany and New Kids on the Block. Duranies throughout the country were becoming ill.

Video after video, none of which could make the ache the Duranies felt in their stomachs better. The pain heightened as Claire and Julie Ann appeared on the screen to remind them that they would never see another Duran Duran video.

" Hi, we're back. In the next hour you'll be seeing Expose, Color Me Badd, and Samantha Fox. And just to remind you, there will be no Duran Duran videos anytime soon."

Duranies were dropping off quickly. Without their fix of Simon, Nick, John and Warren, they had nothing to exist for. The tv had them hypnotized. As much as they wanted to, they couldn't switch the channel or move form their place in front of the tv.

In another part of England. . .

"Holy Roads, Nicky, our evil ex's have taken over Mtv, making it impossible for anyone to see our Too Much Information video"

Nick Rhodes looked over at his friend Simon. He knew the mission at hand. They would have to save all of England from the clutches of their evil ex's, if anyone was to listen to good music again

"Well this looks like a job for Captain Big Thing!!!"

Boy Simon stood pondering the words of Captain Big Thing "Should we take the Great Ship Drum?"

Crack!!!

"Ouch, Big Thing, why'd you do that?" Boy Simon said as he rubbed his sore head. "Do you think I'd ever get into that boat with you? Nosiree, not with the way you steer!" Then Big Thing cracked Boy Simon on the head again. "That's for the stupidity of thinking we could make it to London in time to save the country, in that damn boat of yours. Now, quick to the Thing-a-ma-giga-mobile."

Off through England sped our two super heroes. Each hoped that they would make it to Mtv studios before it was too late. Monitoring the situation was not an easy task. Julie Ann and Claire had their hands on all the videos. The bad ones just kept rolling. Boy Simon sat horrified as they rolled out a block of George Michael videos, containing the video of utmost tackiness "Too Funky"

"Better put your foot down, it's getting worse" Boy Simon sputtered, turning green. With one look at the screen, Big Thing sent the Thing-a-ma-giga- mobile speeding towards London. When they arrived, out two heroes leapt form the car and ran into the studio. It was desolate. The bodies of Mtv employees were everywhere. They just lay motionless in various positions. Captain Big Thing examined a few of them. "Several of them are dead. The cause is most likely boredom. The rest seem to be in some sort of trance."

They began the search of the building, hunting high and low for the ex's. At last, they reached the main set. Quietly they walked in. The time was at hand. Duranies everywhere would be avenged, the evil ex's would be put down, and Too Much Information would be played.

As they looked to the side of the stage, they noticed Julie and Claire locked i the most passionate of embraces. Hands clasped over their mouths they ran to the rest rooms to hurl.

"Captain Big Thing, did you see that?" Boy Simon asked from the neighboring stall.

Whoosh!!

With a belch of relief and then a sigh, Captain Big Thing spoke, " I never suspected. If it were anybody else, it would be great, but with those two, gross. Won't be writing to Penthouse forum about this. But it is our duty to England to face our enemy, no matter how bad the situation.

After another flush, our heroes emerged from the stalls, looking a touch bit paler. This time they entered the set more cautiously, expecting the worst. Instead, they were greeted by a gun wielding ex-band member.

" So you think you can save England. Well think again!" A shot rang out. The bullet just missed Boy Simon, who nearly passed out from fright. " I know your secrets, Nick Rhodes, Simon Le Bon. Wouldn't your fans love to see you in these getups!"

Andy Taylor was sent reeling by a kick of Simon's right foot. Thump! Bang! Ouch! The two men (well maybe that's to complimentary, but awe heck) continued to battle it out on the floor. Captain Big Thing put a light coat of Duran Duran Pink lipstick on (his favorite shade), as he watched with pride as his side-kicked the ass of Andy Taylor.

"Had enough?" Boy Simon asked panting.

Andy nodded. "Please, no more. All I ever wanted was for people to recognize me for my talent. But no, all they see me as is a traitor for leaving the band." At this, he burst into tears.

Captain Big Thing chuckled as they brushed past. Andy quickly grasped Big Thing's leg. "Destroy the control room and the mind control will be ruined." He laid his gun at Big Thing's feet and promptly collapsed.

"Well, that takes care of him. Good work, Boy Simon. Now we must destroy the Ex's and their evil mind control, so that Duranies everywhere can live in peace."

Julie Ann and Claire awaited them on the main set. Big Thing saw them first and whispered to Boy Simon, "Remember, your hand at the level of your eyes."

"Why" Boy Simon asked, confused.

"I don't know, I just always wanted to say that. Now be careful. These women know our weaknesses."

Slowly they crept behind the two women. Having sensed their arrival, Julie and Claire turned to face them. "At last, your here." Claire said seductively, tossing her long brown tresses over her shoulder. "Eclair, Simon?" She dangled the the pastry just within his reach.

Boy Simon's mouth was beginning to water, as he gazed at the tempting sweet. He was powerless. " Fight it, Simon! Remember the Duranies!" Big Thing called. he had his own battles to fight. Julie was showing him the latest lipstick shades straight from Chanel.

Claire was pressing the pastry to Simon's lips, when he finally broke free of her spell. He grasped the pastry from her hand and smashed it into her face "Damn waste of a good pastry." he muttered licking the remaining fragments from his fingers.

At that instant, RuPaul past through, after one look at Claire, all he/she could say was, "Super model, that's no way to work it girl! You're through!"

Claire clutched her heart and fell smack to the floor dead. Somehow this released Big Thing from the spell he was under. He looked at the bright fuschia lipstick in Julie's hand and said, " It's ugly, and so are you. Your clothes are tacky as well. I wouldn't dress my dog in those clothes. You have no style!"

Julie screeched, " I'm melting!!!"

She disappeared into a puddle at Big Thing's feet. Our heroes rushed to the control room to destroy the mind control.. Big Thing raised Andy's gun and fired. The mind control fizzled and cracked, and with a loud bang, was destroyed. Within minutes Duranies slowly began to regain consciousness.

A short time later. . .

It was after a commercial break that the Duranies caught their first glimpse of Nick and Simon in over 10 hours. "Go ahead, Simon, you say it. After all, your the lead singer." Simon smiled, that sweet sexy grin of his, "Hey tv child, look into my eyes. Here by intervention I want your attention. Here's Too Much Information, by us, Duran Duran"

And thus all returned to normal. For now