Tomorrow Is My Physical

I'm so damned scared of going to the doctor that its crazy. I've worked myself into a tizzy. I don't stay online much because its not fun for me anymore. I'm hoping my doctor can help me sort out my head which has totally taken control in a not so nice way.

I just can't handle things anymore and everything is scaring me. Most of you know that the floaters bother me to no end. They still do, and I know that I should be coping with them better. I just can't. I just keep thinking what if they get worse, how will I deal with that. Then there are so many other things.

I feel stifled. I haven't been to the gym since my fall simply because I'm scared to go, because I don't want to hurt myself.

Yes, this makes no sense. I know that. But it doesn't stop my mind from going off on these tangents. I don't like being alone right now, which makes my job terrible as 99.9% of the time I'm there by myself, ok with a dog.

Just forgive me for not being myself. I'm hoping tomorrow the doc can give me some advice of who to talk to or whatnot to make me start to feel better.