I Need To Clean Up My Life

Ok, my house is broken.

Literally.

I won't go into it, but there is so much that doesn't work here that it is disgusting and there is no money to get things fixed.

I'm trying to dejunk as much as I can. We are packrats here. No not hoarders, but we like stuff. Books and music mostly. Mom loves cookbooks and I love all books. Now that I've started cooking, I like the cookbooks too.

This is a problem.

I've been trying to go through stuff for Goodwill. Last week, I took 5 bags of clothes up to the store. I was going through mom's clothes. She's homebound now, so she doesn't need the dressy clothes anymore. House dresses and nighties are basically all she needs and a one or two things to wear when she goes to the doctor 2 or 3 times a year.

I've gone through my stuff multiple times. I have a bag of clothes to go and I'm working at getting some books to donate to the lending library at the YMCA that I belong to.

However, each time I take something out of the house, more seems to come in.

I used to trade concert CDs with people online. I have a huge collection of burned CDs, and I used to listen to them a lot.

I don't listen to anything a lot these days.

I don't want to get rid of them, but I don't really want to keep them either. (Oh and I have tossed a bunch of them..not Moody Blues shows or Elvis Costello shows...but some other artists I don't listen to much anymore)

I just want to get things sorted, but I reach that point where it just seems so overwhelming that I just don't bother, and that's bad.

I don't want to be around people and I really want to get away from my family because I'm starting to not like anyone.

I'm sick of cooking for people. I'm sick of not being able to go anywhere...I'm just sick of it all. I hate bitching and moaning, but aside from waking up in the morning and being alive, there's nothing good about my life at all.