I'm not sure if many of you know that I take care of my two parents. I know most of you know my dad has many health issues, COPD, from years of smoking and working in coal mines, steel mills etc..and all his fun digestive issues that really started a few years ago when they found a tumor, non-cancerous, thank god, on his colon.
My mom has had multiple heart attacks, is diabetic and as a result is now blind.
Both stay in the downstairs level of our home.
I'm responsible for meds, potty chair cleanings..and in mom's case bum cleanings. I do all the cooking and cleaning.
I'm essentially mom, to my parents now.
I don't get to leave the house much, except to go to work and do the grocery shopping.
Because my father's condition can be fine one minute and bad the next, I seldom go anywhere that is more than a 10 minute drive from my house.
It has been over 6 months since I last ate in a restaurant and about 6 months since I was near a mall.
I'm crabby. I'm frustrated and I hate the world.
Mostly because I never get much in the way of help from anyone else in my family, aside from my nephew.
I need a break before I break.
It is not easy seeing people that you love, that were once strong and able to do anything, so fragile.
It hurts and it takes a lot out of you.
I've joked that I have a choice of getting fat or becoming an alcoholic because of my caregiving. I'm not lying. Since my dad got sick, I've put on more weight then I care to admit. I'm a stress eater, and there's been a lot of stress and very little me time. And you know what? Sometimes when I get me time, I don't want to exercise.
Weekends are more work then weekdays.
It never gets any better and sometimes, I don't think anyone cares.
fake reality: or maybe it was all a dream?
8 hours ago