Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Sick Of Sadness

How can I get some happy going on?

For a holiday week, it really started off bad.

Plumie died...Thursday would have been my dad's 89th birthday...we still haven't found a house.

I'm super stressed and I feel powerless.

The only thing that's keeping me sane are books. I'm reading...not as much as usual. I've only read about 30 books this year, but what I have read I've really enjoyed.

It doesn't help matters, that I really have no one to talk to outside of my family. Hospice really doesn't care to help the grieving outside of the patient's spouse. My nephew and I are left alone with our grief.

I don't know that I'll ever get over losing my dad.

Yes, he had been sick for a very long time, but he always rallied. He was a fighter and then some. To lose his kitty now, that's the final blow.

I think she decided she didn't want to be without him.

I'm sure my dad was on the other side of the rainbow bridge waiting for her yesterday, along with all the other animals we've lost over the years. I'm sure he played with her and finally she curled up on the lap she loved the most and slept peacefully again.

Now if only I could feel better.


Diane said...

I wish I had some words of comfort that would really help. I know exactly how you feel - I lost my dad in June of 1990. He was only 68. I was living in California but luckily my mom had my brother and sister here with them. We had a wonderful Doberman pinscher, Mickey, that adored my father - this was my dad's dog. My dad's birthday came on Oct 8 of that same year and Mickey died unexpectedly. He wasn't old, he wasn't sick - we also think it was from a broken heart. My mother was beside herself and inconsolable. So, I know exactly how you feel. Our Mickey wanted to be with my dad as Plumie wanted to be with yours.