Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Grieving

They say that the first year after the loss of a loved one is the hardest.

It will be 8 months since my mama left us on Monday.

Yes, this year has been hard. Very hard. There are times when I am not sure I want to go on.

I know that death is a part of life. I know that your parents don't live forever. I understand all of that, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't take the hurt away. It doesn't take that loneliness away.

It also makes other things hurt more.

In Nov, it will be 5 years since my dad passed. I think I had been quietly accepting that he was no longer with us, until Oct.

Now everything hurts so much more. 

I want them both back. I need their advice and guidance more now than I ever did.

I feel like I'm floating about in my life and I don't know how to live it anymore.

I wish I could describe the pain I feel right now. All I can say is that I feel like my heart is torn out of my body and crushed on the floor. I feel like half a person maybe even less.

1 comments:

allenwoodhaven said...

I firmly believe that those we love but have lost are still connected to us. It's not the same and not enough but I'm grateful that it's there. It's true for you too. Be open to signs from them. Personally, my parents speak to me mostly through cardinals, but there have been other signs from them as well. They can't be summoned but that makes me welcome every sign all the more.

One thing most people don't seem to understand is that grief takes its own time. When you can, share their stories. Don't believe anyone saying you should be over it.The past few days I saw some headlines about a series of Ted Talks about grief. I didn't listen to them but you might want to check them out. I'm not much of a techie, to put it mildly, but I imagine they'd be easy to find.

You have my condolences, sympathy, and empathy.