Christmas Isn't Coming

I have no tree up.

I have no motivation to do it.

This weekend will mark one month since he's been gone.

I want to "keep" Christmas, but my heart isn't into it.

I know I should.

But I just can't seem to do it.

It hurts too much.

I can't stop crying. The stress has just transferred itself to different things, and truthfully, I'd rather be stressed out taking care of my father than being stressed out over all the things that I have to deal with now that he's gone.

Have I mentioned how empty and quiet our house is without him?

And its so hard when you have no one to talk to that understands. At least hospice has helped my mom, but they forgot that there were other caregivers for my dad, and our hearts are broken too, and we are all having trouble coping.

So really, it would be ok, if we skipped most of Christmas this year, right?