I Am Mad At Mommy

Is it wrong of me to be mad at my mother, even though she's been gone almost two months now?

I'm mad because I'm going to be working two jobs, not because I want to, but because I have to.

I've said before, I would never have changed what I did for her, daddy or grandma. I love them all with every fiber of my being. There weren't opportunities at the time that would have taken me away from them, and truth be told, I didn't go looking.

I am mad that we didn't start trying to get more stuff in order before it came to this. That I didn't have the chance to get on the budget plan for my gas bill.

I guess this is just beating a dead horse, and lordy that sounds awful considering, but I would have liked to have been better prepared for what I'm dealing with right now.

I'm doing my best to make a go of it on my own, but its scary and I don't have many people I can turn to for help.