Music Hurts

I remember when music was the thing that kept me going. I still have CDs piling up, though I haven't bought much new music lately.

But when I put music on, I think of my mama, and the music on Pandora that we used to sing together, whether it was music that she loved back in the day or the songs I loved.

Now it all makes me want to cry.

I can't listen to anything.

All the music that I loved hurts me now.

I keep telling myself that things aren't as bad as I thought they might be, but its so damn hard. Everything makes me think of mama, and I miss her so badly.

I just want to find some joy somewhere, something to make me feel like its worth going on.