Artist: Various Artists
Album: Best Of 2008 The Country Edition (97 MB)
Genre: Mixtape, Country
Sounds Like: Alan Jackson, Taylor Swift, Dolly Parton
Tracklisting:
Alan Jackson - Good Time
Brad Paisley w/Keith Urban - Start A Band
Jimmy Wayne - Do You Believe Me Now
Dolly Parton - Shinola
Sugarland - All I Want To Do
Taylor Swift - Love Story
Rebbeca Lynn Howard - Better Someday
Kellie Pickler - Best Days Of Your Life
Keith Anderson - Somebody Needs A Hug
Darius Rucker - Don't Think I Don't Think About It
Carlene Carter - Break My Little Heart In Two
Carter's Chord - Boys Like You (Give Love A Bad Name)
Kenny Chesney - Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven
Kristy Lee Cook - 15 Minutes Of Shame
Lady Antebellum - Lookin' For A Good Time
Montgomery Gentry - Back When I Knew It All
Toby Keith - That Don't Make Me A Bad Guy
Brooks & Dunn - Cowgirls Don't Cry
Blake Shelton - She Wouldn't Be Gone
Comments: Some of the biggest country hits as well as some obscure songs from 2008.
| Artist: Various Artists
Album: Best Of 2008 (103 MB)
Genre: Mixtape
Sounds Like: A bit of everything
Tracklisting:
The Smithereens - Thank You Girl
Boyzone - Better
Sara Melson - Dirty Mind
Ron Sexsmith - Brandy Alexander
Elvis Costello & The Imposters - Go Away
Duffy - Mercy
Eric Benet - The Hunger
Rick Springfield - What's Victoria's Secret
Danny Elfman - The Little Things
Ladyhawke - Love Don't Live Here
Lindsey Buckingham - The Right Place To Fade
Morten Harket - Send Me An Angel
Judd Starr - Please Penny
Melody Gardot - Worrisome Heart
Natalie Cole - Come Rain Or Come Shine
Dido - Northern Skies
Dar Williams - Its Alright
Let's face it, most of us will be glad when 2008 goes bye byes. Here are my reasons why 2008 should make a speedy departure. 1. Death of Grandma in April. 2. Death of Itchy kitty in July. 3. Stock market tanking. 4. Hillary Clinton losing to Obama. Yes, I would still prefer her to be prez. 5. Death of Myron Cope, Paul Newman and Eartha Kitt to name a few of the celebrities that passed. 6. That boobie issue I had. Oye! 7. Announcement that David Tennant is leaving Doctor Who at the end of 2009. 8. SARAH PALIN! 9. New albums by Madonna and Britney. 10. Elvis Costello's talk show. God, EC that is the worst thing I've ever watched with one of my favorite celebrities. Now if only this show would make a speedy departure.
The first list of what I'll remember the most about 2008. Today is the high points. 1. Great concerts by Gordon Lightfoot, Nick Lowe, Peter Noone, Lady Antebellum and Rockapella. 2. Meeting Gordon, Nick, Lady A and Peter after those shows. 3. Vacations to Erie, PA and Canton, OH. 4. My new Dell. 5. Obama getting elected. 6. Enjoying 2 county fairs. 7. Watching my cat have kittens. 8. Rescuing Miss Callie and Gumdrop (aka Umma Gumma) 9. Peebles opening in Belle Vernon. 10. La Fiesta opening in Charleroi. (Mmmm Mexican) 11. Getting a small raise at work.
Another casualty of 2008: My pretty pink Zen Micro. The battery died and refuses to charge anywhere now. To replace the battery on the player would cost as much as buying another similar player. So now I have the dilemma of deciding if I should replace it, even though I have the 30 GB Zen Vision or just toss it and cry awhile. My eye has been on the 120 GB Zune for quite some time. I just don't know if I want to spend that kind of money right now, since I just bought the computer. ~sigh~ Its just not fair. Why did the poor little Zen O' Doom have to go this year. I'm going to miss it terribly. I truly loved that little player. It was so cute and so pink. RIP Zen O'Doom!
It was a nice Christmas. Just about all the family gathered and we had a lovely supper of turkey and ham and all the fixings. Presents were exchanged and I got my fair share of goodies. My stash included: 1. Pair of nice warm jammies. 2. Some bath stuff. 3. Jack Ingram's This Is It CD 4. Cash!!! 5. Peebles gift card. 6. Walmart gift card. 7. Amazon gift card. 8. Brinsley Schwarz and Smithereens CD 9. Mudcrutch CD. 10. Heck: Where The Bad Kids Go book. 11. Gold bracelet. 12. The Dell! (My Christmas present to me) 13. Christmasy jewelry. Twas a very good year, even though I downed several glasses of wine and a bottle of Cherry Wheat beer and even that didn't put me to sleep when I wanted to go.
 Here's hoping that each and every one of you will have a joyous and blessed holiday with those that you love the most. Enjoy the festivities. Enjoy the telly. (BBC America is playing some great specials) But most of all enjoy each other, because we never know what next year will bring, so remember to tell everyone that you love them. Merry Christmas, my friends. I may not know you as well as others in your life, but I love you all. Enjoy your holiday!
Dear Grandma, Something doesn't seem quite right this year. The house across the street is dark and lonely. There's no sign of a blind going up or down in the morning. There's no cheery smile when I walk in. The phone doesn't ring at 10 p.m. to let us know that you've made it upstairs to bed. Nor does it ring in the morning. Thursday afternoons no longer involve taking you to get your hair done. I don't take you to your coin club meetings once a month. I don't do the laundry on a ringer washer anymore Going to Save-a-lot to do your shopping is a thing of the past. So are your hugs and kisses. I can't hear you say I love you more. You had more Christmases than most people dream of Grandma, but this first one without you hurts so badly, because you were always such a part of Christmas. For my first 20 some years Christmas Eve was a special occasion at your house. But that meal was always a special part of the holiday and you made it so, even when you stopped putting up a tree. This is what I'll always remember   I love you grandma and I miss you so much. Love, Andrea
Everything left Best Buy yesterday! I may have it for Christmas or close to it!! I'm so excited! I haven't had a new computer in 8 years! I'm not sure I'm excited about moving all my stuff to the new system in the coming days but I can't wait to feel the fastness of a brand new machine!! Squee! I'm so excited as if you couldn't tell already!! Here's hoping Best Buy is right and it shows up for Christmas. If not New Year's is acceptable to me! I just want a new computer that doesn't run so slow and lets me transfer my files to my Zen with ease! Not much to ask for, right? It probably is, but oh well.
 Artist: Various Artists Album: A Gift Of Christmas Music (82 MB) Genre: Holiday, Mixtape Tracklisting:Leigh Nash - Last Christmas Rosie Thomas - What Can't It Be Christmastime The Sweptaways - Lady December Erin McCarley - Little Drummer Boy Maren Ord - The Gift Of Sacrife Jim Brickman - Coming Home For Christmas Holler, Wild Rose! - Born In A Cave Enya - Miraculum Jars Of Clay - Love Came Down At Christmas Holly Conlan - I'll Be Home For Christmas Lee Ann Womack - The Season For Romance The Bird & The Bee - Carol Of The Bells John Legend - It Don't Have To Change Loreena McKennitt - The Seven Rejoices Of Mary FuchiKachis Ethu - O Come All Ye Faithful Goldfrapp - Winter Wonderland Rascal Flatts - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen Deep 6 Holiday - Lo How A Rose/God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen Comments: Bonus Christmas mix!
OMG its only 4 degrees outside today. That is just too freaking cold. I seriously thought I was going to freeze last night. My bedroom was too cold so I ended up sleeping in the living room in the recliner with the space heater on. Brrr is really all I can say. I don't think I can remember a December this cold. Usually the single digit temps come in January or February. Again, all I can say is Brrrrrr! The power flickered out a few times during the night. I grew crabbier and crabbier. Oddly though, I slept. That makes no sense to me at all but I did. This old comforter my nephew uses was really really warm. The only good thing about the weather is that our part of the world didn't get the snow and for that I'm very very happy, because frigidness and snow is just plain downright evil! Now if you don't mind, pass me a blanket, my gloves, a scarf, a fuzzy hat and some really warm socks, so I can head out to work today.
This lovely Dell from Best Buy will be flying its way to my door by Christmas. I know I'm a fool, but the old HP is about to breathe its last and I'd rather get a new one before the old one drops dead. Here are the specs: # Intel® Pentium® Dual-Core processor E2200, 4GB DDR2 SDRAM, double-layer DVD±RW/CD-RW drive, 320GB hard drive, Intel® Graphics Media Accelerator 3100 and Windows Vista Home Premium with SP1 # 19" widescreen flat-panel LCD monitor with ultrafast 5 ms response time and 1000:1 contrast ratio; HD-ready via DVI-D input with HDCP; built-in power and cable management; easy stand detachment for wall-mount option (mounting kit not included) # Epson Stylus all-in-one photo printer, copier and scanner with support for borderless photo print sizes up to 8.5" x 11"; fit-to-page and automatic reduction copying features Yay!
Today I made one last trip to Peebles and then to Giant Eagle to get a few little things. Big Mistake. The whole area of Rostraver was a freaking zoo. Not so much at Peebles as the grocery store, but crikey it was a few hours of pure unadulterated hell. After I finished shopping I went to the Wine & Spirits store and bought 2 bottles of wine, which I've contemplated drinking already. Now all I want to do is chill out, watch some telly or read a good book and not have to deal with the public anymore. Tomorrow the only place this girl is going is out to the River House with my dad for dinner. Wild horses couldn't drag me to a shopping mall or plaza until January now.
 Its no lie that when I tell you one of my favorite authors is Richard Paul Evans. His written books like The Christmas Box and The Gift. I look forward to reading whatever new novel he's released at this time each year. They are heartwarming stories, some will make you cry, but all are really wonderful. Only a person without a heart could not find them enjoyable, and that includes the Grinch when his heart was ten sizes too small. Grace is his latest and one I'm treating myself to this month from The Book Of The Month Club. I can't wait to read it. If you really want to read a good story, one that will make you believe that there is still goodness in the world, pick up one of his books. I'm a firm believer that this man truly has a gift from god with his writing.
 Artist: Various Artists Genre: Holiday Sounds Like: A Bit of Everything Songs: Toby Keith - Have I Got A Present For You Carrie Underwood - Do You Hear What I Hear Jeff Dunham - From Us To You Hayley Westenra - Mary Did You Know Harry Connick Jr - Santariffic Sarah Brightman - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday Lorrie Morgan - Blue Snowfall Michael W. Smith - Christmas Angels Enya - O Come, O Come Emmanuel Martina McBride - Away In The Manger Deni Bonet - Its You And Me This Christmas Kristin Chenoweth - Born On Christmas Day Brad Paisley - Penguin, James Penguin Keri Noble - Santa, You Owe Me SheDaisy - The Secret Of Christmas Coko - Holy Sugarland - Little Wood Guitar Faith Hill- What Child Is This Elvis Costello - There Are Much Worse Things To Believe In Lady Antebellum - Baby Its Cold Outside Eoin Harrington - O Holy Night Comment w/your email if you'd like a copy. This is the mix CD I made for about 8 people this year.
Next week I only have to work Monday and Tuesday. Woo Hoo!! Mind you I'm only getting paid for a few of those days, but at this point I really don't care. I need the time off to relax and enjoy the holiday. I'm so excited about this. I'm going to try to blog too. I really don't want to break from blogging. The problem is, right now I really don't have a lot to say. I may do a round up of my favorite things from 2008 if I can find some. All I can say is, I hope that 2009 is much better than 2008
I think I may be taking a few days off from blogging, just to get my shit together, so to speak. I have nothing interesting to say. I will still participate in the meme on Friday etc. I'm just not sure if I'll be doing regular blogging here for the next week or so. I'll know better this afternoon. I have another doctor's appointment. Much love to all of you.
I still feel like I haven't gotten a damn thing done. Except the shopping. The house is a mess, though the tree is up. Presents are bought, but nothing is ready to be wrapped and some of the presents haven't arrived yet via the mail.
I'm just not ready for Christmas this year.
I didn't even do my Advent song calender here, and that makes me kinda sad. It's something I loved doing, but I'm just not into it right now.
I'm still considering an anti-depressant, because I know my mind is just working overtime on the worry. I hate that. I don't like being this way.
I feel a twinge of pain and I'm sure I'm about to die.
Nevermind that last week I had a UTI that made me miss work for about a day and a half and now my wisdom tooth is giving me hell.
I feel like I'm falling apart.
GAH!
And Christmas is right around the damn corner!!!
Well all but the few people that get gift cards. Everyone has a present now! Rejoice! Now if I could start to feel totally human I would be in great shape. My dad is getting a new coat. Brother's wife a pretty sweater. Sister and nephew's CDs. Friends books and gift cards. Mix CDs for the holiday are ready to be mailed. Also if you want a download of my Christmas mix (since I'm not sending out as many this year) please comment here and I'll post the mix.
I was on Bactrim for 3 days and called the doctor on the second because it didn't seem to be clearing up the UTI and I only had 2 pills left. I took the second to the last pill before the doc had called in a prescription for Cipro. He said to discontinue Bactrim and take the Cipro, but I thought the Bactrim had worked so I finished the course. I think I have to take the damn Cipro now. On a plus I managed to start cleaning today. I got rid of 2 bags of clothes and several bags of garbage. So that's a big Woo Hoo. I'm hoping to get rid of some more stuff today too. I feel bad that I've tossed old 45's but there's just no room for them and well, the dust covers have been attacked by the kittens over the last few months. Still its a definite improvement. I did something! Woo Hoo! Now if only I could start feeling human again. Or perhaps get the damn Christmas tree up, I'd be in really good shape!
From Music MemoirsTop 5 Non-Traditional Christmas Songs1. Jill Sobule - Merry Christmas From The Family This is a cover version, but I love hers best. Its the funniest song ever and well, who doesn't feel that this sums up their family at the holiday? 2. The Moody Blues - Don't Need A Reindeer Best HOLIDAY SONG EVAH! Nuff said. 3. Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmastime So annoying and yet I love it so. 4. The Moody Blues - Yes, I Believe Another beautiful song by Justin Hayward from the December album, which everyone should own. 5. Elvis Costello - St Stephen's Day Murders Oh yeah...you've got to hear this one!! Just a note, I hate Lennon's Happy Xmas with a passion that cannot be describe.
I just don't feel good right now. There's no point in blogging on a day like this. I can't entertain you. The UTI is acting up and I'm considering calling the doc again about a different anti-depressant, but I don't know if I can handle the first week's side effects. Insomnia makes me very antsy and that seems to be the side effect that comes with all of them. So don't mind me, I'm going to spend today trying to feel better.
This is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm reading Debbie Macomber's A Good Yarn. It's a lovely bit of fluff and its keeping me entertained. I haven't done much reading in the last few months, due to my nerves. I decided yesterday I was not going to take the Celexa anymore and after reading some of the side effects of Paxil, I said no to that too. I would rather try to deal with my anxiety on my own. Even if it means me being a bit batshit insane. The reading is helping a bit. Its made better because its a good story and not too heavy on the brain. It also kept my mind off the fact that I have a UTI. Oye. I'm just batting a thousand with issues right now. The only plus is that I slept last night which was wonderful. Insomnia is just something I can't live with.
I swear I've had every side effect this drug can produce in the last two days. I think I'm calling the doctor today to see if I can stop taking this. I almost feel worse than I did before taking the Celexa. I'm not sure feeling less anxious is worth the way I'm feeling right now. I don't like sleepless night one iota. I don't like feeling like I've got a UTI coming on (TMI I Know) I think I'd rather somehow deal with the mess my life has become than this. I feel spaced out and woozy. Not fun at all. I apologize that I probably won't be around to everyone's blog today but I need to catch naps where I can. Stupid freaking pill.
I brought a few more things up from Grandma's house yesterday. We're still finding more and more cards that were sent to her over the years. Birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas etc. She kept each and every one it seemed. Its funny, most of us throw those things out after a week or two, but not my gran. She has a house full of them. I guess she wanted to remember everyone who loved her and cared enough to get her cards. It made me feel bad that I never put that much store in cards. I always thought that just saying I love you was enough. I always found for me, that cards don't say what I want them to, they say what you think the person wants to hear, and that always came off as insincere to me. All of this makes me hope she knew just how very much I love her and god, I miss her terribly.
This week I've bought presents for my brother, several friends and I've burned the Christmas Mix CD for 4 people. I still have 4 more to burn, but they are for people that I'm mailing presents too. Woot! I'm accomplishing things! I've also got a lot of the Christmas food shopping done. There are still some things we need to get, like a turkey breast and stuff for cookies, but I bought the ham and chicken today as well as some of the stuff for the relish trays. This is pretty good, since I'm still feeling like crap. I can't begin to tell you what's gone through my mind in the last few weeks. You'll think I'm crazy. OK, most of you know that I'm crazy, but if I told you any more you'd definitely be reaffirmed. At least I am getting stuff done. That's good, right?
Took my first dose today and wooo....sleepy. I've managed to stay awake, but I'm not really sure how I'm doing it. Pure willpower I think. I'd drink some coffee but I don't want to go back on caffeine. I've pretty much been free of that since the end of October. There's no winning with me right now.
From Music MemoirsTop 5 Classic Rock Albums1. The Beatles - Rubber Soul   2. The Moody Blues - Seventh Sojourn   3. Pink Floyd - The Wall   4. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass   5. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed  
Well my blood pressure was 116 over 80 which is good. My pulse was good, or so the nurse said. I'm scheduled for blood work to check for thyroid, diabetes and cholesterol which are all in my family. I have a month's worth of samples of Celexa which the doc wants to try me on and I have to go back in 5 weeks. I'm kinda scared of the medication, but if it will help me to return to my normal self I'm more than happy to try it. Here's hoping I survive getting the blood work in the coming weeks. (And the gyne part of the next exam)
I'm so damned scared of going to the doctor that its crazy. I've worked myself into a tizzy. I don't stay online much because its not fun for me anymore. I'm hoping my doctor can help me sort out my head which has totally taken control in a not so nice way. I just can't handle things anymore and everything is scaring me. Most of you know that the floaters bother me to no end. They still do, and I know that I should be coping with them better. I just can't. I just keep thinking what if they get worse, how will I deal with that. Then there are so many other things. I feel stifled. I haven't been to the gym since my fall simply because I'm scared to go, because I don't want to hurt myself. Yes, this makes no sense. I know that. But it doesn't stop my mind from going off on these tangents. I don't like being alone right now, which makes my job terrible as 99.9% of the time I'm there by myself, ok with a dog. Just forgive me for not being myself. I'm hoping tomorrow the doc can give me some advice of who to talk to or whatnot to make me start to feel better.
From Music MemoirsRecommend to all the other players this week, one song, album and band that you think that they should take notice ofThe Band: The Brilliant Mistakes are an indie band out of NYC. Their name is taken from an Elvis Costello song, which is reason enough for me to love them, but their music is just as awesome. Go to their website and check them out. There are free mp3s there too! The Album: Sugarland - Love On The Inside   There's a reason these guys keep picking up awards. Yes, they are country, but they are good too. The Song: Deni Bonet - It's You And Me This Christmas Go to Deni's website and give the song a listen! I promise you, you won't regret it.
Back to work after 4 blissful (or something like that) days off. Blergh. I was getting spoiled. Those 4 days were almost like a vacation. I don't usually have that many days off in a row. But its back to the weird grind in which I exist in. And now I have to start the task of compiling the Christmas mix, which will be posted here. I'm not going to be mailing as many this year as I don't have a lot of extra money, so if you can't download and usually get a Christmas Mix CD card from me, comment or email me, so I can make one for you. I also have interview questions to come up with for a feature on that LJ music page I write for. I had intended to get it done yesterday, but I was totally bit by the lazy bug. Ah well, back to normal life, or something close to it.
Its cold, its rainy and I'm just not in any mood to be part of the world today. I don't want to leave the warmth of my bed. I did though, but I really want to go back to bed and stay there for the rest of the day. Nope I have no motivation today. None whatsoever. Now if you don't mind, I think I have a date with my blanket and my pillow, not that I'll be able to sleep. I just want to be warm, which is nowhere outside of my bed right now. Brrr. If I find my motivation it will be a miracle. If I hadn't given up caffeine a month ago I'd say I needed a huge cup of coffee, but I'm trying to avoid stuff like that. Maybe I should break out the DVDs and watch some movies or tv, at least I'd feel like I did something.
I'm scared of doing holiday shopping this year. The economy scares me and I have just enough usually to make all my bills. I don't want to dig myself in deep and not be able to get out, especially as I have a health insurance premium to pay now. That doesn't mean I'm not going to spend, that just means I have to be very careful this year. I want to have my last bills paid off in the next 10 months if possible. I don't trust that my job will be around. I never have and I don't want to have a bazillion worries if something were to go awry in the next few months. Yes, I'm a perpetual worrier, but I've had so many years of things going wrong that I don't want to take any chances anymore. I want a good holiday but I don't want to be taken to the poor house because of it. Wait, I'm already in the poor house. I just don't want to be a nervous wreck over debt ever again. I was that way once, and I've vowed not to let it happen.
From Music Memoirs
Top 5 musical things on your Christmas Wish List.1. Any CD from my Amazon Wish List2. A new mp3 player with more storage space! Or even a smaller one that will hold special favorites. 3. A small CD Player for my bedroom. My unit I bought a few years back for about $35 bucks bit the dust, or at least the part that opens to allow you to put the CD in broke. 4. A Dell Desk Top with a 500 GB Hard Drive to hold all my music. (This is my dream gift) 5. A large storage cabinet for my CDs. I need loads of room!
A blessed a safe holiday to all my friends. May your day be filled with all the good things that life has to offer; family, friends and good eats. Remember...Count your blessings instead of sheep.
This is going to be the first Thanksgiving/Holiday Season without grandma. Its been exactly 7 months since her passing and I can't talk about her with getting teary eyed. Her house is mine, in name, but I can't think of it as such. In fact, I wish the market were better so that I could sell it, only its across the street from my home, so I'll probably be upset when new people take over, because that house will always be GRANDMA'S! Its a Catch 22. The next month or so going to be hard for us. That empty seat at the dinner table tomorrow will be the reminder that one that was so important to us is no longer here. I can only hold fast to my belief that she's with god and that somehow she'll be with us throughout the day in spirit. But then I think. If this was my first year with god, and the first year that I've seen my family that have all long since passed, why would I want to check in on those that we left in this world? Oh yes, I remember...She loves us more. I love you more Grandma. Those words were almost a joke when you said them, but we know you meant them and I miss hearing them. Its going to be a rough few days here, but I know we'll get through them. I only hope I can keep the tears to a minimum.
From Music MemoirsWhat musical things are you the most thankful for?I'm going to list a few that always make my life happy. 1. Concerts like Rockapella, Gordon Lightfoot, Nick Lowe and Peter Noone. 2. Christmas music, especially when the artist has written new material. 3. My favorite recording artists, who make my days a little brighter with their songs. 4. New musical discoveries like Judd Starr, Chris Blake and Deni Bonet, whose music has made my year much happier. If you could say thanks to one artist/band who would it be and why?This year I would thank Nick Lowe for the show that took some pain out of the weekend of April 26th. For a few fleeting hours that Sunday night I stopped crying and enjoyed the music. I would also have to thank Ron Sexsmith too, since he was the opening act and I enjoyed his performance as well.
Its the start of another same old same old. Talk of the need for a bigger stimulus package to kick start our faltering economy. All the not so new politicians that are going to be part of Obama's cabinet. Uh, yeah, change is coming to Washington. I guess its going to be in the form of ideas, which Obama does seem to have. Here's hoping everyone can create something from them. Oh a mini-highlight as I fell asleep through the last half of Colbert's Christmas episode. Damn and blast. Which means I slept through Elvis Costello singing. I hate my sleep schedule, have I mentioned that lately. I'm up at 5 or earlier and I'm dead to the world by 9:30 or 10. Blech! So, aside from this being a short week, it looks to be full of much the same as usual. ~sigh~ I really need to take my life back, only I don't know how. This downward spiral I seem to be on scares me. Its hard to explain how weird I've felt in the last few months. I'm a compulsive worrier, yes, but things have escalated to epic proportions with me to the point that I know I'm going to have to take some kind of action soon. Blech. The thought of dealing with a doctor for the stupid stuff that I've been worrying about just makes me feel like a fool, and maybe I am. That's not to say I'm depressed all the time or worrying all the time. I have enjoyed things lately. (Shrimp and Rockapella...odd combo isn't that) Its just something has taken over my life and I don't like it and I feel powerless to do anything about it.
OK, this is starting to be a Saturday night thing with bad sleep and I'm not liking it one iota. I was sleeping good too, all curled up and warm with all 3 kittens at the small of my back. So what happens? Nightmare! Yeah I dreamed mom and I were arguing about a frozen pizza that we had made. My nephew had come into the kitchen and someone had walked on our porch so he locked the door. The next thing I know I see a light on in grandma's house in her bedroom and I'm trying to call 911 only I have no voice. That's when I woke up. Thank god. I didn't want to have a sleep panic attack. So it's 6 a.m. and I'm sitting here blogging because I don't want to go back to sleep. ARGH!
It's 7 a.m. on a Saturday, why am I awake? I think it has to do with being cold and just not wanting to sleep with 3 kittens on my body. At least they were warm. Actually I was too until the mama cat started talking to me. Once I was awake the cold sunk in. Damn. Now I'm up and too cold to do anything else. Way to whine much? The kittens, however are full of all kinds of energy. Lucky them! If only I could go back to bed, I'd be in good shape. Maybe I'd get warm again. But I can't do that, there is stuff to do today and I need to be productive, even though I'd rather not be.
From Music Memoirs
Top 5 reasons you splurge on a purchase of music1. Its an artist I absolutely love and have to have every recording by, like Elvis Costello, The Moody Blues, Duran Duran and Erasure. 2. I need to have something to make me feel happy, and buying a CD is cheaper than buying clothes. 3. I've found something that I can't purchase just anywhere and I have to have it!!! I just won an auction on ebay for one of the Rockapella imports! $9.50!!! Woot! 4. It's a great price!! I can't resist a good deal! 5. (This is my favorite answer) I just want too!
I was finally coherent enough to write my review of the Rockapella show. It's posted on a Livejournal community that I write for. If you'd like to check it out the review, just go here. I'm really happy I went to that show. It was great fun!
~ Elvis Costello is going to be on Cobert's Christmas Special! Woot! I can't wait to see that! ~ Next week I get a mental health day for Black Friday. No I'm not going shopping, its a mental health day, and one I sorely need. ~ Reading about anti-anxiety meds scared the hell out of me. How do you rid yourself of anxiety/panic attacks without them? ~ I'm one of the only people that just doesn't give a rat's butt about the Twilight movie. I can't get into those kinda books. I was like that with Harry Potter too, though I have read a few of the books. They just don't make me get excited. ~ Most of Rockapella's CDs are out-of-print or can only be bought on their website for semi-reasonable prices new, where the shipping is downright insane!!! ARGH! I need Smilin!   And don't get me started on how much those Japanese import CDs cost on Amazon! ~ I've had a shrimp craving for the last month that won't go away. Scampi, broiled, fried; GIVE ME ALL THE SHRIMP!!!!! ~ Today is my older sister's b-day. I've promised her dinner at River House in town when her youngest son isn't making her cook for his brood of friends/going to his girlfriends/working.
I am so tired today, I don't know how I'm going to keep my eyes open until 4 o'clock. I actually yawned my way through the first part of the show last night, which was terribly embarrassing. I'm so glad I went to the concert though, it was great fun and Rockapella really can sing. I highly recommend them to anyone that has the chance to see them. Pick up a CD too. You won't be sorry. I've only a few of their 11 discs, because most are Japanese imports that are way to pricey to buy (Hints for anyone wanting to buy me a Christmas present) for myself. Most of the discs you'll buy won't have the current lineup, but that's not to be worried about, the previous members are just as good as the 4 guys singing now, though I can't help but wish a new album would be forthcoming. What I don't recommend anymore are concerts one work nights when the following day can't be taken off. I'm really going to fall asleep on my desk today and that's not a good thing at all.
 OMG Awesome is about all I can say. This was a quality show for $30. And we were about 5 rows back from the stage. (Actual 3rd row of seats in the theater though) No Flash photography was allowed but, let me tell you, my camera did well without the flash, since we were that close. Most of my photos can be found here. A full review of the show will be posted on my music community on LJ in the coming days. I promise to post a link when its ready. Right now I'm just too darn tired to do much of anything, besides share my pictures. This was the first show in a long time where my brain said, you love the guys, but you can't stay for a signing. I feel bad about that, but I know that my body would hate me this morning, if I had. It already does. Enjoy the pictures, and if you ever want to hear a great acapella singing group, see Rockapella if they come to your town. You won't regret it.
From Music MemoirsIf money were no object, what band would you see in concert? I'd have to say Erasure, because they are one of the only bands that I absolutely love but have never had the opportunity to see. Close behind them would be Over The Rhine, Hem, and Keri Noble. Where were the closest seats you've ever had for a show (that was non-general admission)?I think tonight's Rockapella show is the closest I've ever been. We're only about 3 or 5 rows back from the stage! I hope they allow cameras! What type of venue do you prefer to see a show?Small venues are the best, either a small theater or club. Casino theaters also rank high with me. I hate the big amphitheaters, which is why I seldom see big named artists. Smaller venues are friendlier too in my book, unless they are in Pittsburgh, where almost all the venues are crap.
 One of the kittens left to go to her new home on Saturday. It was hard letting her go, as I love all 4 babies, but one can't have a house full of cats no matter how much you'd like to. Yes, I'm a crazy cat lady. Which is why all the kittens and mama cat will be fixed by spring. I couldn't take having another litter of kittens. I get too attached. These little ones were like my children. Coco is the black and brownish kitteh. The other one is her brother Skimble Shanks, named after the Railway Cat in T. S. Eliot's Book Of Practical Cats and of course the musical that came from it. I miss her already.
Here I am, awake again, long before 7. I've been up since 5:30 and I didn't get into bed until almost 1:30. Thankfully I had slept a few hours before coming up to bed. Its amazing what TV I will fall asleep through, even if its stuff that usually watch! I'm getting annoyed by not being able to sleep normally. Our couch is far from comfortable. My back can attest to that, but for some reason, I lay down there, and boom! I'm out like a light. That's not at all how I used to be. I think stress and my wonderful penchant for worrying has totally got my body in a fucked up tizzy. I have anxiety over dealing with my gram's estate and those damn eye floaters that I've bugged so many of you about. Then I had that issue with my boob. Not fun. But all of it kinda got muddled together. My stomach is not happy. My sleep schedule is out of whack. I just want to feel like myself again and right now I'm not even sure if I can remember how that feels.
Yesterday my medical card from Highmark came in the mail. Words cannot express how much joy I felt upon opening the envelope and finding it nestled inside. I can only afford a high deductible plan right now, but my coverage allows for routine exams with the insurance paying 90% without worrying about my deductible. Yay! That makes me feel a certain amount of relief. So as of December 1st I'll be covered. Everyone breathe a sigh of relief with me!
From Music MemoirsTop 5 songs that make you feel smarter for having heard them. (Interpret as you see fit)1. They Might Be Giants - Why Does The Sun Shine (The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas)   2. Gordon Lightfoot - The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald I never would have known anything about that ship if it hadn't been for this song. 3. George Harrison - Bangladesh George was one of the pioneers of the benefit concert and his song Bangladesh got it going.   4. The Byrds - Turn Turn Turn The lyrics are taken almost verbatim from the King James version of the Bible (Ecclesiastes 3, verses 1–8). 5. They Might Be Giants - Istanbul (Not Constantinople) Come on! They even used it in a cartoon!!!  
 I watched the CMA Awards last night. I actually enjoyed it. I guess I'm slowly becoming a fan of country music. I loved Brad Paisley as one of the co-hosts. The performances were all pretty darn good, but I have to say Lady A was my favorite. Perhaps I'm partial because I've seen them live and I think Charles Kelly is just the cutest thing. Here's a list of all the winners, and oddly I agreed and called several of them earlier in the day. I'm also thrilled that Sugarland won, as they are my second favorite country band right now. • Entertainer of the Year: Kenny Chesney • Female Vocalist: Carrie Underwood • Male Vocalist: Brad Paisley • New Artist: Lady Antebellum • Vocal Group: Rascal Flatts • Vocal Duo: Sugarland • Single of the Year: "I Saw God Today," George Strait • Album of the Year: Troubador, George Strait • Song of the Year: "Stay," Jennifer Nettles • Musical Event: Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, "Gone, Gone, Gone" • Music Video: Brad Paisley, "Waitin' on a Woman" • Musician: Mac McAnally, guitar
By UtopiaThe Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.1. In the past month I've given up caffeine and all I've been drinking is herbal tea, caffeine free soda and decaf coffee, and very little of the decaf coffee. 2. For years I watched very little tv, this season I now have about 8 shows I watch pretty regularly as well as stuff on BBC America. 3. I feel like Miss Callie's kittens are my own babies sometimes, I love them that much, and I fear the separation anxiety I will get when they start going to their new homes. 4. Anytime I try to watch tv at 10 o'clock, I end up falling asleep about 10 minutes in. 5. My favorite shampoo is White Rain's Ocean Breeze. It smells so good. 6. I've been writing CD Reviews for a Livejournal community. Most are for Indie Artists that I've been introduced to care of a PR firm. I'm really enjoying it, plus I've received thanks from several of the artists I've reviewed. That's quite a good feeling. I'm going to not tag people, because I'm a rebel like that, but if you decide to do this meme, come back and let me know so I can read your answers.
From Music MemoirsNovember 10th was the anniversary of the day The Edmund Fitzgerald went down during a storm on Lake Superior. So we're going to have a nautical theme meme Word association style: Ocean: Ocean Deep - Cliff Richard River: River Of Endless Love - The Moody Blues Sea: Looking Glass Sea - Erasure Sailor: Saints and Sailors -Dashboard Confessional Ship: The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot (Obvious choic, right) Wave: The Devlins - Waves Sand: Fish On The Sand - George Harrison Sail: Sailing On The Seven Seas - OMD Navy: In The Navy - The Village People Deep: Deeper Than A River - Olivia Newton John
I had the shrimp scampi from Long John Silvers yesterday for dinner and oh was it good. I'm not a huge seafood fan, but I love shrimp. Scampi is not my thing most of the time, but I've acquired a taste for it recently and I've been dying to try the new menu at LJS. I'm really glad I did. The scampi is served on rice with tasty veggies in a nice herb butter sauce, if you get the meal you also get a small corn and a yummy bread stick. Well worth the 8 bucks as I found it to be as good as anything I've had at fancy places. Its definitely worth trying. Finally I've found something I like that isn't too terribly bad for me! That in itself is pretty downright amazing. Maybe the next time I'll be brave and try the salmon.
  I belong to a version of The Book Of The Month Club that used to be called Zooba. I get one hard back of my choosing each month for about $10.50. One of the books I got over the last few months is Monster Of Florence. Its a true crime novel about a serial killer that haunted the "Lovers Lane" type places in Florence, killing the couples that were getting some, so to speak. Its not my usual type of book, but for some reason it appealed to me. Every so often a book like this does. I can watch murder mysteries on tv but I just don't like to read about them. Go figure. Anyone read this one? I'm always curious to hear other people's takes on things I've read or am reading.
Ghost Whisperer ruined my night last night. I can't believe they killed off Jim! I don't care if he stays on as a ghost! This just sucks! I just started getting into the show this season and I really loved Jim Clancy. How could they do something like that? I've always hated when they screw with relationships on TV shows. It never happens for the better. When I first saw the previews I had a clue of what was going to happen. Then I read some things on message boards for the show and I just got more upset. Lastly I watched the show last night. Oye! I don't even think it was done well. They let us believe for a few minutes that he was ok, but then, BOOM! he's a freaking ghost! I'm not sure if I'll be watching the show for much longer.
From Music MemoirsTop 5 "Country" or "Alt-Country" songsDolly Parton - Jolene I've always loved Dolly and this is one of my favorites from her earlier material. Johnny Cash - Ring Of Fire I don't even have this one in my collection but its such a great song. Brad Paisley - Waiting On A Woman I just adore this song. Lynn Anderson - I Never Promised You A Rose Garden Fantastic song! I love it and Martina McBride's cover of it is superb too. Lady Antebellum - Slow Down Sister My favorite country band right now. This song is great live!
Trying to deal with grandma's estate is really getting to me. She only had her bank account and her home. That's it. No life insurance or anything else. To pay for her funeral I had to use the money in her savings. Most of it had to be paid at the time, and now I have an issue with the inheritance tax. ~loud scream~ My stomach was just starting to feel good, but when faced with the daunting tax of about $1,100.00 that I don't have and part of that tax amount is wrong, makes me sick to my stomach. Haven't I had enough stress in my life this year? I was the one that found grandma. I still can't get rid of that visual six months later. Of course I didn't see these letters until 4 o'clock yesterday so I could only leave messages for the attorney handling the estate. So I'm back to being a nervous wreck and not sleeping well. I hope the attorney calls today.
Besides Yay! I want to say that I am so totally in awe of both candidates right now. Both McCain's concession speech and Obama's victory speech showed how good Americans they both are. Perhaps if McCain could have kept his campaign half as dignified as his speech last night he would have had a fighting chance. Both men made me feel proud to be an American. I am however pleased as punch with the outcome. It was a hard choice for me to make too, as Hillary was my candidate of choice. That hard choice left the minute McCain picked Palin as his VP. That woman scared the hell out of me. So many people felt this was a lessor of two evils contest. Maybe it was but it still made so many people in this country passionate about who got elected. Its a shame that the only way for that to happen was to have 8 years of hell and a tanked economy. I'm hoping Obama gives his supporters reason to stay passionate over the next 4 years. God Bless Obama and keep him safe and God bless America, a country I feel proud to call my own for the first time in 8 years.
Get out and vote! Seriously, this is probably the most important election in our lifetime. Don't sit at home and do nothing, get to your polling place and make your voice heard. That's the only way that we can truly hope for change. I don't care what candidate you support. (OK, maybe I do) Just do it. Why? Because if you don't vote you have no right to bitch about who got elected. Sure one vote is small in the grand scheme of things, but what if everyone felt that way? Your vote matters! Just do it! In this most historic election, make your voice heard. Just like I'll make mine heard. GO OBAMA!!
And all the political nonsense ads will be gone. Praise the lord and anyone else! I can't wait. I am so sick of hearing both sides slam the other without saying a damn thing about what they are going to do to make America better. Isn't that how it always is? In the first months of any election, you hear a little bit about what their policies are going to be, but as it gets down to the wire, its all mudslinging and in the worst and nastiest ways possible. I'm to the point where I really don't want to watch tv because I can't take the ads. They are making me crazy, especially that ad McCain has about weathering the storm. His negative campaigning has made me like him less and less and with his running mate being tweedle nit the wonder twit, well I shake my head in exasperation. I just hope this election has a clear cut winner tomorrow night and we don't have to go through a 2000 election again. I don't think I could take that.
We have an excellent Mexican place in our town. I know my stomach is going to kick my butt for eating there, but we had a coupon for Buy 1 Get 1 and it was only good for a week. That's too good to pass up, so I took my dad. Mmmm. Yummy! I had a chicken taco and a beef burrito. Have I mentioned how good it is? Have I mentioned how much I love any brand of Mexican food? It's been awhile since I've been out to eat and this was a welcome change too. Most of the time I just go to someplace quick, like Kings or Eat N' Park. This was good. A nice atmosphere and good food and the service was excellent. Here's hoping they put more coupons in the paper, so I can go a bit more often.
I've been hunting down Catherine's sketch comedy show anywhere I can find it. It seems like BBC America has finally decided to play the episodes, to coincide with the start of the new season of Doctor Who, which aired on Sci-Fi shortly after it was out in the UK. I'm so excited! I love Catherine Tate and I loved her as Donna Noble on Doctor Who. The show itself can be a bit obnoxious but its oddly amusing. I'm so glad I'll be able to watch it on my own without having to hunt it down for my computer or my mp3 player. Its so much easier to be able to turn the tv on to watch something. At least it should keep me amused while waiting for the last of the 5 Doctor Who episodes to air. Have I mentioned I'm saddened by David Tennant's departure? But I am excited to see who will be playing that part next. I only wish Catherine could still be part of that show. She was an awesome companion in the most recent series. Ah well, at least this will be full of giggles. And I'm not even Bovvered by that.
From Music MemoirsTop 5 Spooky Halloween Songs1. Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party To leave this song out would be totally criminal. 2. Danny Elfman - This Is Halloween OK, not spooky but still!! It rocks! 3. Siouxsie & The Banshees - Candyman Not a guy whose door you'd want to knock at when trick-or-treating. 4. Bauhaus - Who Killed Mr. Moonlight Not sure, but this one seems perfect for this time of year. 5. Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells Spooky and gorgeous all at the same time!
Last Wednesday before all hell broke loose in my life, I won a DVD on the Pickle. Woot! I'm going to pick it up today. The DVD is the making of the Beatles "Love" show that's playing in Vegas right now, it's called "All Together Now" Oh to have the money to go to Vegas and see that show. ~sigh~ That's not likely to happen anytime soon for me. But at least I'll get to watch the DVD with Ringo and Paul and the wives of John and George, which is better than nothing. You know me, I love the Beatles. So I'm definitely going to enjoy this. Its just a matter of when I'm going to be able to watch the darn thing.
No rest for me either. Perhaps that's because in the last few days, no even the last few weeks, sleep has been all I seem to be able to do. Last night I managed to apply for Highmark insurance. My boss has a deal with me that he's going to pay a month and I'll pay a month. Wow! That's a wonderful thing. I did that at 9 o'clock. I even managed to stay up for Eli Stone, which is a show I'm really starting to love these days. But in the past few weeks that 9 o'clock hour is one where I manage to take a little snooze. Not so last night. Then when I did get to bed, around 11:30, the kittens decided to act up. And oh did they act up. Cocoa was biting my toes through the blankets. Skimble was meowing up a storm. I think its going to be time to crate them at night very soon. I need my sleep badly.
From Music Memoirs:
There is one week left in the US before the election. This week I want you to pick one song that best describes the candidate of your choosing and tell us why you picked it.The candidate of my choosing is Barack Obama. Its been a hard decision for me to make but I feel that our country can't take another 4 years with a republican in office. I'm also scared to death of Sarah Palin, but that's another story altogether. I'm not sure that the lyrics of the song I pick are completely appropriate but the title definitely is, because regardless of the candidate you pick there's one word that keeps floating around everywhere. ChangeMy song is by Oingo Boingo, or rather just Boingo when they released this song in the mid-90s. Lyrics to Change. It's not a political statement by any means, but somehow it sums up my feelings about the word that's being tossed around in this election so much. I hope I'm wrong about my feelings and I hope we do get some Change come January 2009.
I'm not a huge football fan, but I follow the Steelers. I love it when they win and I get really disgusted when they lose, especially like they did this past weekend. I swear the whole team is injured, which is something that's been plaguing them since they won the Super Bowl a few years back. It all started with Ben and his bike accident that could likely have killed him if he weren't so lucky. Yesterday's game made me nervous. They were winning, they were tied and then they lost, all in regulation. I think I could have handled it better if they lost in overtime. I hope the rest of the season goes a bit better for the guys and I hope some of them actually return to play, because if they don't its going to be another mediocre season for the team and they deserve better. Plus I'd love to see Tomlin get them to the playoffs so early in his career as head coach. ~sigh~ But with the way things are looking right now, that's not going to happen any time soon.
Its been a rough few weeks, what with dealing with eye floaters and well the whole booby issue. My stomach is still a bit upset but getting better. I wish I could say the same for my computer, which is still acting a bit odd. I really haven't been feeling to excited about being on the computer or doing much of anything right now which is not a good way to feel. Its hard getting over the feeling of fear that seems to have stuck with me right now. Its been hard to return to feeling normal after all that I've been through in the past few weeks. I was able to eat a bit more than usual yesterday, so that felt good. If only I didn't sleep on the couch for part of the night, I'd have been in really good shape. Our couch is hell on my back! Hopefully in another week or two I'll be back to my version of normal, whatever that may be.
This morning my XP profile didn't want to log me on. Isn't that lovely. All my email settings and emails that I saved, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get to, because of whatever went batshit insane last night when my computer didn't want to power down properly. I'm truly ready to scream. With all the stuff I've dealt with this week, I really didn't need this too, but oh well. I guess I'll have to deal with making a new profile. At least all my files on the hard drive are fine. I'll be transferring them over to the external for safe keeping. Way to make life just a wee bit more complicated than it should be right now. This has definitely been a week where I didn't want to get out of bed, and with each passing day I get yet another reason to pull the covers up over my head and ignore the world spinning by.
Today I had my first mammogram. Let me tell you I was scared. I was having a little discharge, I know, TMI, and I went to the doctor yesterday. I barely slept last night. In fact I slept downstairs on the couch to be close to my mum. After I had the Mammo and the ultrasound I found out that I have cystic breasts. I also need to have another ultrasound in 6 months but the doctor didn't seem to think there was anything to be alarmed about. So everything is pretty much fine. But let me tell you, until about noon today I was on pins and needles and scared pretty witless, and I know some of you think I don't have my wits about me anyway. I'm just trying to destress now and return to normal. 48 hours of sleep might do that.
Yesterday afternoon, shortly after I got home from work, my Mutchka had a seizure. Talk about scaring me to death. I was seriously starting to calm down about some things and then this. I cried the whole way to the vet, because at the time, I thought my kitty was having a stroke and I wasn't going to able to bring him back alive. Thankfully that wasn't the case, but it really took what was left of my nerves, which are really bad right now and sent them into a tailspin. I just want to be able to calm down and have a normal pain-free day. All this stress I've put myself through is bad on the stomach, really bad. Its also made me want to do absolutely nothing except sleep. I can sleep for hours. Then I wake up and my brain starts churning and I start worrying about various things. Not fun. Seriously I just want to go back to bed and forget things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh how I love the British comedies on that channel, even though I've seen half of them before (AB Fab and Coupling). There's just something about these shows that really bring me the giggles. I absolutely love the show Coupling. I had a huge crush on Richard Coyle the actor that plays the more misfitish Jeff Murdoch on the show. I'm also starting to like Gavin and Stacy. I never thought that would be a show I'd like. Its too relationship oriented, but I do. My favorite show however is Graham Norton's talk show that they put on Saturday Nights. I think we're about a week or so behind the UK possibly more, its hard to tell sometimes, but oh is he a riot. This past week he had Jennifer Saunders of Ab Fab/French & Saunders and Cyndi Lauper. It doesn't get much funnier than that really. Its the little things that make everything worthwhile or at least amusing. Thank god for Tuesday night telly! A little laughter never hurt anyone, right?
From Music MemoirsTell us 5 reasons why music is an important part of your life1. It provides a release/relaxation when times are tough. Which makes me wonder why I haven't been listening to more music lately? 2. It provides excitement, whether its from concerts or new releases. Everyone needs a little excitement in their lives, right? 3. The obvious is its entertaining. Depending on what I'm listening to or watching, music can keep me amused, especially if its a funny video. 4. It allows me to express emotions. I love to find a good sob song to wail to when I'm upset, or a fast angsty one when I'm driving and have road rage. 5. Its something that I can share with people. Its part of me, even though I can't write it or sing it (well). I can make mixes and playlists so I can share my excitement with others
I love this show even though its a tearjerker 99.9% of the the time. Last night was no exception. I won't spoil the plot but seriously the ending made me want to cry. There are usually 3 types of endings. 1. The happy ending: Somehow the person is found or somehow saved even though the case is 30+ years unsolved. 2. The murderer is caught. 3. It was an accident and the person involved was too scared to say what happened. ARGH! Even though this makes everything simpler it doesn't make the show less interesting. I love the show and watch it whenever I remember that its on. (Which isn't always often as I'm terrible at remembering when my favorite shows are on) It does however always make me cry, especially if the third cause of the murder is the one that results in the end of the story. Which is why I was near bawling at the end of last nights show.
~ I ordered a new pair of prescription sunglasses. Take that you fucking floaters! I may be wearing those damn things for most of my work day. Damn the bright office. ~ Drove to Walmart, sans any sunglasses. That's an accomplishment for me! Didn't have a panic attack doing it. ~ Split one of those huge Angus burgers from McDonald's with my dad. The Deluxe is yummy but god, its enough for at least 3 people!!! ~ Bought kitten food for the sweet little beasts that refuse to let me get a good night's sleep. ~ Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Sadly not from scratch. These were the refrigerated dough kind. Still, they = yum. ~ Griped about how I still ache just about everywhere from the fall and all the anxiety I've put myself through lately. ~ Had a little cry over the 100th Birthday Picture Book we had made for Grandma. Still missing her terribly. ~ Working at counting my blessings again to remind myself that though some things in my life are annoying, I have so much good in it too.
I think all this time sitting by myself has been a detriment to my mind. If that makes sense. Being alone with ones thoughts is not always a good thing, especially when one is a compulsive worrier like I am. I need to step away from the computer more, I think, because when I'm online I want to look up stuff about floaters or bug the people I know that have had them, because I'm worried. I've never really had anything wrong with me before. I'm nearsighted with astigmatism, yes, but other than that and having a UTI once a few summers ago, I've had nothing wrong with me. To discover these little floating dots that don't go away is hard to deal with. I don't want to drive my car because I get preoccupied with them once I see them. Plus sometimes I see one, other times I think I see more, especially if I look up into any light or go into a white room. Its totally maddening. I need to relax and be able to stop thinking about these things, but right now I can't seem to do it. I just want to sit alone in the dark. I don't even want to read right now, and that hurts me, because I love books. I want to talk to people, but these damn floaters are the only thing on my mind so I'm sure I'd be bad conversation to.
Actually I was awake at 4:30 because of mama cat but also because I have a nice pain under my left boob. TMI, I know, but let me explain. I worried all damn evening about it until just now when I realized that I probably pulled a damn muscle. How did I do this you might ask? I was going to the bank at 9:30 yesterday for my boss. I work in an office trailer with metal steps and it was raining. I had my Crocs flipflops on because they are comfy. Can you guess what happened next? Yup, I fell on my butt, grabbing the railing with my left arm. (Which is the side that's hurting) Apparently the muscle pain was a little delayed in showing up. I didn't even tell my boss about it yesterday at work, because I didn't think it was a biggy. I slipped and fell. Didn't hurt myself, but apparently I did just a little bit. Oh Yay! Tylenol isn't helping much. Neither is it being 10 days before you know what arrives. (Sorry more TMI). All I want to do is go to bed now, but I can't sleep on my left side cos it hurts! I am such a whiny tard these days.
Everything is bothering me right now. I've got myself so worked up over the damn floaters that my whole body is rebelling against me. Dammit. And watching that stupid debate last night didn't make it any better. Its a good thing I didn't have a beer or I would probably be dead by now. I have no respect whatsoever anymore for John McCain and his obnoxious smirk. But that's enough of that. On top of it all in all my crazy worries about my eyes, I almost forgot to pay a credit card bill that's due tomorrow. Thank god for online payments, but I fear I'll probably get hit with a late fee, because I've been stupid and just not feeling right. My wrist hurts. My boobies hurt. Yeah, TMI, I know, but it's about 10 days from my period, but that has me worried too. I've turned hypochondriac in the last 2 weeks. I'm a constant worrier, but this is ridiculous. I wish I could feel better. And I apologise to all of my online friends that I've been bugging about the floaters. I know I've been a nuisance but I need to somehow convince myself this isn't the end of the world. I just wish I could put them out of my mind. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to try to not throw up for the next couple of hours
I'm trying to be upbeat and positive as much as I can, but I still feel very down. After further reading I know my floater,as I think its only one, is very mild compared to other people who have all considered FOV surgery and laser treatments from one of the 3 or 4 doctors that can perform them. It makes me feel like a big baby that right now because these things are freaking me out so damn badly. Half the people I hear from say they barely notice them anymore, but others I read about say they are awful and really get no better over time, in fact they get worse. For a person that is prone to panic when anything is remotely wrong with my body, this is not a good thing to hear, and when surgical procedures are iffy and expensive its even worse. My optometrist says he has one and he only notices it when he's talking to another person that has floaters. Mike Bill and Susan could you please email me with how you dealt with first discovering these things or comment. It would make me feel better. I know I need to learn to relax but its hard. I just feel so powerless and there's no one I can really talk to about this that doesn't think I'm going out of my mind, which I may well be at this point. I need all the help I can get right now. I will remain positive though. At least I know that no one has ever died of a floater! So Happy Hump Day to you!
I have no idea why I stayed up past the comedy shows last night, but I did and let me tell you, CSI Miami last night was particularly gory! Blech! Just the right blend of weirdness to give a person nightmares, which I don't need, thank you very much. Where do they come up with these stories? At least the L & O epis are sometimes taken from the headlines, so you have an idea how whack the world really is, but this show takes the cake sometimes. As much as I love some of the cop/crime dramas, why does the 10 o'clock hour have to be a huge gore fest? Seriously? This is when ER, (Hospital gore) all the Law & Orders (Not as much gore but still some) and CSI (Hugely gory) are on. Is it just that we adults like the whole blood and guts thing? I'm not real keen on it, that's actually why I stopped watching House, too damn gory, even though I absolutely love Hugh Laurie. (eep that rhymes) Why can't we have some more adult type dramas or more mature comedy on in that hour? Oh yeah, that would bring me JOY!
This floater has got me down. Now that I know that it won't kill me I should be ok, but no. And I just don't know what to do to calm myself down about this little dust-like think that's floating about in my eye. I know it could be worse, I could have a bunch and they could be huge, but this one is making me crazy right now. Especially when it does its little dancing routine in my eyeball. Get this sucker on Dancing With The Stars or something. I marvel that the medical profession can rid us of everything but fucking floaters. Being told I have to live with this is just ridiculous. What's worse is that I'm the kind of fool that's read stuff about them and know that they can and probably will get worse in time. Oh thrilling! That makes me feel so much better. I want to have my life again and right now I feel like this little dot has taken it away from me. I know it sounds crazy, but that's how I feel. The only activity I'm really enjoying anymore is sleep and you can't sleep your life away. I don't want to do that anyway. I'm considering a pair of sunglasses. Any of you floaters sufferers have any suggestions for this poor fool girl?
There is only one thing that makes me hope Barack will get elected, and that's health care reform. Something has to be done. I fall into the category with the other millions of Americans that have NO health care. I haven't been to a doctor since the 90s when I was in a car accident. I go to the eye doctor every two years and my dentist twice a year and pay out of pocket, which is why any little thing that doesn't feel right in my body scares the crap out of me. I can't afford a regular physician sending me for blood work. I don't make that much money. Something has to change. PA offers discount health insurance to people that make under a certain amount of money but don't qualify for a medical card. But there is a waiting list that is miles long to get it. Plus I don't qualify because I have a savings account! In this county all children can be insured. That's great. But who pays for their necessities if the parent is ill and can't work? I've looked into plans in the last few months, because I know I need to have something eventually and the costs scare me and the coverage makes me weep. And if you are a woman the costs are higher! I trust Barack Obama to at least try to do something for people like me. I would have trusted Hillary Clinton much more but that was not to be.
I want to go to Amigos. Its a gorgeous little Mexican place that I've been hearing about for months now. I loved the look of it when Jen and I went to see Mamma Mia! a few weeks back and now I've had a look at the menu. Mmm. I love Mexican food, or rather Americanized Mexican. Actually I've been to a few places that claim to be authentic and I liked them too, so maybe I do like all Mexican. That said, I just really want to go there and eat. And I would if some tard hadn't chucked the coupon from the Magazine section of the newspaper in the trash the other day. Damn and blast. I could use some really good Mexican food. Actually after the week I put myself through, I could use a really big margarita and a really gorgeous guy (Ok, a geeky guy we all know my type) to drag my drunken butt away from the cantina! But I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. Aw well, I guess I'll have to settle for a tv dinner.
From Music MemoirsTop 5 songs to soothe the savage beast.Chris Blake - Lullaby Chris is an indie artist who's recent CD I had the chance to review for my LJ community, Mossip. You can check out the video for Lullaby here.Boingo - Insanity It's not calm song at all, but something about it has always destressed me or rid me of road rage. I'm not sure why that is the case though. The Moody Blues - Lovely To See You This is probably one of my favorite Moodies songs and anytime I play it I go to my happy place. I probably should play it more often. Erasure - Tenderest Moments A b-side from the Run To The Sun single from I Say, I Say, I Say, quite possibly the most beautiful song that band has ever recorded. Elvis Costello - Still Actually anything from North can soothe my savage beast. It can also put me to sleep. Do not try to power walk to this album, you'll fail miserably!
Just wanted to let you know that my floater was just that, a floater. Yay! I can rest easy tonight and hopefully over the next few days get rid of all the tension I've built up in my body. Seriously I need a good massage right now, preferably by someone cute with good hands! Thank you for all the kind words. They did make things go easier for me. I'm glad my worrying was really for nothing. Hugs to all of you. You are all great friends!
I bet all of you are glad I have my appointment today. I know I am. Today I should learn what an idjit I'm being becoming so worked up about my damn floaters. I'm fully aware that I'm letting this get to me when in all likelihood its nothing. Or rather nothing that's going to hurt me. Seriously I've worked myself into tension in my neck and shoulders and an occasional headache. I just want this day to be over. I'd rather be kicking myself in the head for getting worked up over nothing than this waiting game I've been playing with myself for the last week. Some of the words of reassurance have gotten through, but not totally to my brain which is still determined that all of this is a signal that I've got some terminal disease. (And not having health insurance makes that even a scarier prospect) My goal is to try to remain as calm as possible throughout the day. I only have to make it until about 4:30. After that its all between me and the eye doctor. Please remind me that I'm being an idiot and that eye floaters aren't going to kill me.
I needed a beer to get through just a little bit of the McCain/Obama debate last night. Just watching these two jokers is enough to make me drink. Is it horrible that I still don't really want either of them to be president? And just watching McCain smirk makes me want to chug down a whole beer! Come to think of it Obama does that to me too. Where the hell is Hillary when we need her? If we were going to have a woman floating around in this election, why does it have to be that freakazoid, religious wingnut, force two unwilling kids to get married, barbie doll looking, beotch that doesn't know the US Constitution from a hole in the ground? Ehem. Yeah, that sums up how I feel about that particular candidate well, doncha think? When this election is over I will be a happy human. Maybe. Unless the polls suddenly change and we get that old fart that likes to point and smirk a lot for a president. I really think that if they want a good debate they should really start arguing and Obama should beat up the old guy. I know I'd be amused. OK, not beat him up...how about duct taping his mouth shut?
I took a Sinus PM last night before bed, because a lot of my other icky feelings are related to my damn sinuses. However, I forgot that if I'm taking one of those kinds of pills that I should be ready at least an hour before I usually go to bed, not at the same time. Why, you ask? Because I'll sleep through my alarm. At some point I shut mine off. I don't even remember doing it, and I wake up around 6:30 with an hour to get my life in order for the day. BIG ARGH! So now I'm running around like a total nut job, because I got an extra 45 minutes of wonderful sleep this morning. Ah the joys of sinus season!
I'm still trying to convince myself that my "eye floaters" are not a sign of certain doom for me. Its not been easy, especially since the last few days have been really bright ones. And that makes things a bit more annoying. I just wish I hadn't read up on them on the internet, because they come out and say, they are harmless but they don't ever go away. ARGH! That doesn't make me feel better. I'll get used to it, I read. Fat chance. I'll probably explode from nerves before that happens. I guess its a good thing I scheduled an eye exam this week, even though I had one back in June. (Another expense I didn't need this month) All of this is making me depressed and again I reiterate that I have no one to talk to to make me feel better about this. I mean I know its nothing, but would you please tell my brain that, because its not getting through. I feel like my body is falling apart, and over something so little, I know.
 I fear the American version of this show. Its not often that American writers can pull off one from the UK well. So far I think The Office is the only one that has done well, and I'm one of the few people that liked neither version. Life On Mars is one of the best bizarre cop drama's I've ever watched and that has to do with the casting. John Simm as Sam Tyler is just superb, just as he was superb as the Master. It is just as good as the CSI/Law & Order shows but with a could it be time travel twist. (But those from the UK reading this know that already). I just wish that American TV people would stop stealing BBC and ITV ideas and think up their own because so very few of the shows cross over well and I hated what they did to Coupling a few years back. This show is too good to be destroyed. I hope to god that its done well, but I think I'd rather watch the original episodes on BBC America or download them and watch them on my own. And on a random Life On Mars note: John Simm is a hottie.
 I'm truly amazed that the peace lily managed to bloom under my care. I'm not known for having a green thumb. But look how pretty it is! I'm so proud of myself. I knew a bloom was coming but I'm really excited now that its finally come to flower and that I can see another one shooting up. Yes, I'm easily amused. But how can I not be amused, I really thought that after 5 months this plant would be dead.
I'm finding it increasingly sad that when I have problems there's no one to go to, but when someone needs me I'm always there. I'm not looking for tea and sympathy, well, maybe I am, or maybe its just reassurance that I want, I don't know, but I've had an odd health problem crop up. This might not be so worrisome if I HAD HEALTH INSURANCE! Its nothing major. Its an eye issue, but its left me out of sorts all week. I'm shelling out $55 to see an eye doctor even though I had an exam back in June. I just want to make sure the "floaters" I'm seeing in the bright light are just that, floaters and not something else. All of this makes me crazier than I already am. And seriously, I don't need to be crazier. I need some sanity in my life. Why can't I get that? Or at least someone that I can share my fears with? Because right now I'm scared as hell, even though I know I have nothing to be very concerned with.
From Music MemoirsTop 5 songs with really long titlesThe Monkees - Do I Have To Do This All Over Again (Long Title) Yes, long title is part of the title! Its a fun catchy song by Peter Tork. Its more mature and rocking then the stuff that he usually sung in the band. The Communards - There's More To Love Than Boy Meets Girl On the cassettes this song was simply labeled TMTLTBMG and for good reason I think. The Beatles - Everyone's Got Something To Hide Except Me & My Monkey This song is really weird too! Herman's Hermits - There's A Kind Of Hush (All Over The World) Very long title but a very pretty song The Moody Blues - Never Blame The Rainbows For The Rain This one is simply beautiful even though the title is a mouthful! What are some of the songs you like that have really long titles?
I have a Money Market savings account at my bank. Its supposed to yield a better return than your avg savings account. I don't keep much money in it, because we all know that I don't have much, but seriously its nice to know what my money is worth at the end of the month. Each new $100 which is what I try to save each month towards the downpayment on a car is worth an extra... You want to sit down for this? I hope you're sitting because the amount is staggering. 2 freaking cents! Yes, for each $100 I add to my money market savings account, I make 2 whole cents! Isn't that lovely? If I was borrowing money for them, they'd want more than that back in interest. Somehow I don't think that's quite right. Its not hardly worth it to keep money in the bank, except that when its in this account I won't spend it, unless I absolutely need too! But I guess its time to transfer over another $100 to that account so I can make $1.10 in interest next month!
  I found this book by Rebecca Wells at Ollie's Bargain Outlet last week. I read the Divine Secret's ages ago..I still need to read the first book Little Altar's Everywhere, but I'll get around to it in time. There's something marvelous about these books about fucked up southern belle's that just draw the reader in. I'm not sure why though? I've read plenty of books that are similar and this one really isn't different, but regardless I'm really enjoying it. For all its moments that are leaving me going WTF, it still makes me laugh and that's really what I like the most in a book these days. And as usual this isn't the only book I'm reading. I always have on in my purse and one in the bathroom, the Ya Ya's are the bathroom book and I have a Nora Robert's trilogy hanging about my work bag for those times at lunch when I need to have some fluff in my life. So what are you guys reading right now?
Yesterday was unusually busy. I had to get my oldest cat to the vet after work. He was feeling a bit under the weather and it seems now that he has a bit of an upper respiratory infection. (I'm pretty sure in layman's terms that's a cold) So he's on an antibiotics. After that I was trying to get some cleaning down around the house, just a little, while being able to watch the only show I really enjoy right now, Big Bang Theory. Oddly I managed to get most of it done. That in itself is amazing, considering everything seemed to be conspiring against me. I've been trying to get stuff done but I've not had any time for me. I miss reading blogs and whatnot. I barely have time to blog here, let alone read all my dailies. When I get down time I still can't get squat taken care of! I have paid the taxes on the house though for the year, so I think I should get a woot! for that! I just wish I could get the stuff I want done in my downtime, rather than finding other stuff to pile onto my already massive to do list. Its not making life any fun right now and its definitely making me crabby. I don't need any extra aggravation in my life. I've got enough. More than enough actually. I just want my life to return to normal. Is that asking too much?
How is it that 48 hours of vegetating go by so damn quickly? I didn't do much of anything. Exercise on Saturday and some grocery shopping. Yesterday I just pretty much laid around the house did some cleaning and read a book. Why does it feel like I blinked and its Monday? Its like this year is flying by and nothing is happening. Worse still, I can't believe that its less than 3 months until Christmas and there's going to be no grandma this year. Thanksgiving...and no grandma. I haven't got over that empty feeling and there's still so much to deal with, and damn it in my vegetation I didn't get what I wanted done, done! I'm sick of the only time going by slowly being the 40 hours I spend at work. Or that time spent watching the debates from hell. Dear god the VP's are going to debate this week. There's no way I can watch Sarah Palin and not want to break my tv. Maybe that hour or so out of this week will fly by as fast as my weekend. I should stop thinking about this now, or I'll end up at work with a violent rage brewing in my head over stuff I have no control over.
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Itchy
199? - July 21, 2008
1995 - August 27, 2009
1993 - Sept 20, 2009
