Random Photos

I've been busy working lately.

A LOT

About 28-30 hours on top of my 40 at my regular job. It kind of keeps me from having much to say..So let me share some of the photos I've taken in the last week or so as proof I'm still alive

My new butterfly bush, which will go in the area that my beloved Oogie is laid to rest.

Lowes has some gorgeous sunflowers

Caught a monarch last Friday outside my office

My new addition. This is Miss Oogie, named in honor of one of the sweetest boys ever. She's a doll baby and so full of love.

My planner for next year.

One of my favorite bridges, The Wheeling Suspension Bridge

Random Thoughts About My 2nd Job

1. People will stand in a line with a light on even if there isn't a cashier standing there. I truly don't understand that. Wouldn't you go somewhere where the body checking you out was located?

2. Why do people think that knowing the price is going to magically make you able to ring up those dang screws, lock nuts and washers?  Also, note to the place I work how the hell are cashiers supposed to know which are which? Which is why those bags and pens are really necessary in that area. Why can't more people use them?

3. Breaks don't exist unless you get a lunch.

4. Customers are almost always rude unless you are in the garden center. Flowers bring out the best in our customers.

5.  For the most part all of my co workers are super nice and I've made some great friends there.

In My Life....I'll Love You More

My sweet little Oogie passed away on Sunday morning early. He fought so hard to stay with us., but a URI that one of my younger cats had got him, and he was too old and weak to recover.

My heart is heavy. This is my second baby to pass this year, and all of my other kitties are close in age to him. Soon to be 12 at the end of the month.

Oogie was my sweet boy, and I loved him so very much. His presence in my house will be greatly missed, but I know mommy and daddy and all his little furry friends who went on ahead of him were there as he crossed that rainbow bridge.

Gardening Is Not What I Do Best

So the violas are about at the end of their life span

So I bought some gorgeous cone flowers at Lowes. Coneflowers are my new favorite flower, as my zinnias hate my guts this year.

I have a makeshift flower bed or two, because no one really taught me how to do anything like that.

So yeah, I'm cleaning the weeds, of which there are many.

and

MOSQUITOS

Yup

One little SOB bit me three times.

So I went in the house..and didn't come back out.

I left the planting to my brother in law and nephew.

Nope..won't make a gardener out of me, no matter how much I love flowers.

Randomosity Strikes Again

1. Heat does strange things to people. Working retail I found that the people that went out in the heat to get garden stuff were pleasant. I had the nicest conversations with them while working. Inside the store, was a total other story. Granted there were some really nice folks that came through my check out line, others not so much.


2. I'm obsessed with covered bridges. I love them. I must photograph them. I must spread love to each and every one I find.

3. Flowers are my new thing.

I <3 coneflowers="" most="" p="" the="" this="" year..="">

4. I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. I am in no way near the end of my grieving for my mother, though it is slowly creeping up to a year since she's been gone.  9 months on Wednesday actually and it still feels like yesterday. I still look for her and want to talk to her. The other day after I had been to a minute clinic, I went to call home, even though I was trying to call my sister and there in the middle of CVS I was ready to start crying.

There are places that I go that I really want to talk to her about. When I stepped out at Dobbin's Landing and saw Lake Erie for the first time in 9 years, I started to cry, because I wanted to share it with her because I know how much she loved that place.

5. 

Beatles Beatles and More Beatles

So I was reading about The Fabs again and someone was discussed George being bitter and angry.

I admit, George has been my favorite Beatle for a very long time, but there's more reason than that to jump to his defense in my book.

He deserved to be bitter

Sure the band did give a lot of time to the Lennon/McCartney songs, but George was talented and his songwriting was good and different from the other two.

When you listen to George talk about the Beatles, he is often dismissive and truthfully he does have a right to be. It was 10ish years of his life and he did do other things. So many of his songs that appeared on albums through Gone Troppo were written during the Beatle years and were dismissed by Paul and John.

Some of these songs were on All Things Must Pass and the one that really pisses me off on George's behalf was Not Guilty, which appeared on the 1979 album. Granted the song seems to be a big ole dig at John and Paul, but its brilliant and should have been on The White Album, especially as much of that album..erm..I'm probably going to hell for this...was miserable, especially the Lennon/McCartney stuff. And if you've never heard Sour Milk Sea...god...George was ripped off by those two and there was good reason to be mad, bitter, whatever.

Oh and while I'm at it...The Circles demo was damn amazing in its White Album demo form.

Suddenly I'm feeling less charitable to John and Paul...because of all the great George songs they buried...

Imagine if they would have been more encouraging...all the music we might have had.

Still trying to get it together

I'm trying so hard to learn meal planning and how to keep my house clean while working two jobs and never being home.

Let me tell you, it isn't easy.

I'm learning it isn't worth it to order out no matter how badly I don't want to cook. I think that's the toughest thing about budgeting. Everyone talks about how you can make "better than takeout" food at home, but they neglect the one reason most people order take out.

THEY DON'T WANT TO COOK

And when you get home around 10 o'clock most nights...cooking is something you really don't want to do.

Come to think of it, neither is cleaning, but I try hard.

Litter boxes get cleaned..the downstairs floor gets swept and vacuumed along with all the other little things I have to do.

My house may not be perfect but its not terrible.

I still wish I had more help with things though.

Weekend Photos

For those of you not on Facebook...

Some pictures from my Saturday out with my brother and his family

Family Feud

I don't mean the game show either.

These days my youngest nephew and I are not speaking, and saying that is an understatement.

It all started a few weeks ago.

At some point, I've not said hello in passing to said nephew's future mother in law.

In my life, I have met this woman a grand total of 3 maybe 4 times and 1 time I didn't say hello. I received a snarky text message saying that since she is going to be family soon, I should talk to her.

I was either coming or going from break!

For the love of God!

Enter the bridal shower, which I've really not wanted to go to. I hardly ever speak to the bride to be. In fact, haven't had much communication since Easter with her. I've always felt showers were more for the bride's family and friends..and I would be totally uncomfortable and out of place there.

Also it would require me losing a shift at work, which is usually a full 8 hrs. Now this isn't a greedy thing. This is a I need this to get food on the table and my credit card paid off.  Not to mention I've had to do repairs on my roof as well as getting my porch fixed. These things cost money. I am also feeding more than just me.

He doesn't understand this at all. Neither does said bride to be.

I had a screaming match about this a few weeks ago...where I word jumbled...I wouldn't be going to either wedding or shower if my mother were alive..so he could pretend she was still here..

All things came to a head when he conveniently forgot my birthday this week.

For me that was it.

I wasn't asking for a present. I was asking for an acknowledgement, as I know our relationship is strained at best now.

By July 3rd, I was fuming mad.

Which ended up with a text saying that I don't support his girlfriend. (Hey..I don't have to..she's your girlfriend not mine) And that I bashed him...UH...no I did not. Anything I posted on Facebook had no names mentioned...It was only guilt that made him angry. Kinda a Your So Vain...You Probably Think This Post Is About You Carly Simon sort of thing.

Which also ended up with a fight between him and his mom, which made me feel very guilty.

I'm done.

I love my nephew, but right now I don't like him very much at all and I'm pretty sure there is no way to fix things at this point.

They Say Its My Birthday...I'm Not Gonna Have A Good Time

Working 12.5 hrs today.

Nope..not a good way to spend my 45th b-day.

Not at all.

But yay my pom pom flower is blooming

And my mom's friend Eleanor got me these pretty blooms too

Now if I can get my free Starbucks today, I'll be happy.

A Few Days of Craziness

I had the last two days off of my second job, however an oversight caused me to spend those 2 days in a full blown panic attack.

See the schedule comes out around 3:30 on Wednesday afternoon and I only had 12.5 hours.

I almost died.

This is when I am almost on track to pay some bills off by the end of the year, or be close to it.

I need these hours to be able to afford to ..you know..EAT.

Until this morning I had no idea what was going on...as my supervisor was off and so was I.

I finally got to talk to her..and I should be back to some semi normal hours I hope once she looks at the schedule.

Oye vey.

I was so nervous..and was having full on panic attacks for almost 2 days.

Not fun.

I Need To Spend Some Quality Time With My House

I am exhausted.

Last week I tried to get some things done to declutter my living space. I only got half of it done.

Between the stuff going on with my porch and the roof..and working two jobs..and not having a real day off until this coming Sunday...I am ready to crack.

Hell, I still haven't had a chance to go to the laundromat. This is the longest I've gone when it comes to that in ages.

I am just so sick of everything right now.

Also I think I need a maid and a laundry service.


Sigh

Truth in One Cartoon

This is why I try to avoid the news anymore.  Its too painful anymore

Grieving

They say that the first year after the loss of a loved one is the hardest.

It will be 8 months since my mama left us on Monday.

Yes, this year has been hard. Very hard. There are times when I am not sure I want to go on.

I know that death is a part of life. I know that your parents don't live forever. I understand all of that, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't take the hurt away. It doesn't take that loneliness away.

It also makes other things hurt more.

In Nov, it will be 5 years since my dad passed. I think I had been quietly accepting that he was no longer with us, until Oct.

Now everything hurts so much more. 

I want them both back. I need their advice and guidance more now than I ever did.

I feel like I'm floating about in my life and I don't know how to live it anymore.

I wish I could describe the pain I feel right now. All I can say is that I feel like my heart is torn out of my body and crushed on the floor. I feel like half a person maybe even less.

Happy Birthday Sir Paul!

I can't fathom that Paul is 77 and that I've loved his music ALL OF MY LIFE. My first musical memories are of watching The Beatles cartoons.

My favorite song at age 5 was I'll Follow The Sun.

One of my first albums was Tug of War.

He is what I think when you say musical legend.

A Few Things

1. I am almost done with my 7 day stretch at Lowes and I am dead tired.

2. Finding easy meal options to make at 10 pm is in no way easy.

3. I just want to go somewhere and hide for a few days.

4. I want to take pictures but I have no days off, so I can't go anywhere.

5. I think one of my friends from work is going to cut and color my hair. Yay!

Grumbling

I spent the better part of last week miserable with a cough and no voice.

Then my brother in law's brother died.

Then the brother in law gets sick, and long story short there, I was scared he was going to land in the hospital.

The roof is having issues again, which could potentially screw up my getting the dining room table in August, like I hoped.

I'm just not a happy camper right now at all.

All I want is 8 hours of sleep at this point.

Beatley Ramblings Return

I really need to change the channel on my Sirius radio, but I can't get away from The Beatles.

Here are things that I've thought about the guys lately.

The reason the Beatles were different from just about every group at the time, and for the most part now is that there was an abundance of talent. John and Paul may have been the leaders in songwriting and vocals, but they gave everyone a chance to shine.

Whether or not they chose to admit it, John and Paul needed each other. Without the other their songs either slipped off into the weird and hypocrital (Im looking at you John)  to the sickeningly sweet ( uh Paul)

John always went for the more avant garde, but as George Harrison was quoted as saying that's French for bullshit. So yeah there are beautiful songs. Imagine is lovely and so is Mind Games, but when you start looking at the man that wrote them, and his actions, their sparkle gets a little tarnished. I've always felt its a bit ridiculous to hear a millionaire sing "Imagine no possessions." This came from the man who told David Bowie, "You bastard, you wish you had my money" jokingly at one point.

Paul was more a pop song writer. That's what he has always done best. Still, I find some of his better songs to have come from his collaboration with Elvis Costello, who has a little bit of Lennon's snark. I know I've said this over and over, but they really should have done a whole album together.

Back to Paul..I don't know why pop songs get dismissed. The early Beatles songs were just that. Why does music have to always be pushing the envelope. Why can't it just be fun? I mean I adore songs like Ballroom Dancing and My Brave Face. Music doesn't have to be deep and thoughtful, sometimes it just has to make you feel good.

I think that's why I like Ringo's stuff. It's pop..its fun..it doesn't take itself too seriously.

I want to talk about George but ahhhh George. I read an article that dissed most of his solo work other than Crackerbox Palace and All Things Must Pass.

I know I'm in the minority, but I loved Extra Texture. I also adored the 80s super strange flop, Gone Troppo. I also loved the self titled George Harrison album and Somewhere In England

Pollen Sucks

I've kind of been under the weather or under something or other for the last 4 days to varying degrees. Not feeling totally sick but feeling mostly miserable. Even more fun was waking up on Saturday to no voice when you have to work a 9 hour shift.

Speaking of that 9 hr shift. It wasn't in my usual area of the store, and I got bit up by mosquitoes while I was there.

Enter more misery.

Managed to make it through Sunday which was insanely busy, only to have to deal with Campy's Pizza who doesn't like to sell food when they are busy.

Seriously, I called for a carry out and they said..."well it will be 40 minutes."

Like, so? I still want my damn pizza.

Also..had to do laundry as well.

I totally hate the laundromat, but the work involved in getting a washer/drier in my home outweigh the misery of sitting there for 1.5 each week.

Yesterday I was just so damn tired, I don't know how I manage to make supper. I slept til 6 once I got home from work, then I made dinner and was out like a light for the rest of the night.

I'm still coughing my head off whenever I do too much, but mostly I feel more human today.

The End of May

My accomplishments for May

Paid extra on my credit card.

Put away twice what I planned to save this month

Got to go to Phipps and Trax and even Mingo Park on my 2 days off.

Decreased my food waste.

Got my dining room floor to an almost good status.

See I accomplished much!

Trax and Mingo

I got to 2 of my favorite places over the weekend, Trax Farms and Mingo Park.

I bought some lovely zinnia's for the back yard and some yummy food. Oh and I bought WINE! I also got to see my favorite covered bridge, The Henry.

See! I even have visual proof that I was at the Henry!

I love taking flower pictures, but you'll have to head over to my flickr page to have a look at those. I'm actually really excited that I've already updated flickr a few times this year. Most are from my phone, but the big updates were from my Nikon, which is super happy to be used!

Go to my flickr here

I have a plan and I'm sticking to it.

I'm making headway with life right now, and I'm kind of proud of myself.

I have started saving towards the new dining room table that I want. I've also made a dent in the one credit card bill that I have. My goal is to have the card paid off by the end of the year, or close too it, because I know that my hours at Lowes will be cut then. I want to have a bit of a safety net by not having that credit card bill over my head.

I'm also learning that my store cards only get minimal use, that way I don't have to worry about excess bills at the end of each month.

I'm getting there.

Its hard.

But I'm doing it.

I Survived Pittsburgh

We decided to give Phipps a try yesterday.

A few things.

1. After 10 years its hard to remember, the second turn off in Schneley Park is for Phipps. Note...read the banner signs they help. Yeah..that took a half hour to get back and find parking, as I said, with graduation and the gorgeous day it was makes for NO FREAKING PARKING

2. Phipps is getting way expensive and though Van Gogh In Bloom was beautiful, they were more creative in using their themes when I was a little girl. It's $17.95 there and it only takes about an hour or 2 of your time. If you drive to Philly and go to Longwood Gardens it's $23, but you'll need most of the day to appreciate the beauty.

3. I still think the Cathedral of Learning is one of the best buildings in Pittsburgh

4. How did I forget that the Panther Hollow Bridge is a "lock" bridge

5.  I totally want to eat at The Porch one day when I have some spare cash.

6. Chulily Glass is still amusing

Plans Going Awry

Every time I think I am going to go somewhere with my camera, something goes wrong.

I thought I'd get to Phipps this weekend.

Nope!

At least I don't think so.

Its commencement weekend at CMU, which is basically where Phipps Conservatory is located.

All I want to do is take some pretty pictures of flowers? Or something?

Why is it when I think I might get a chance at using my camera, things get all screwed up?

Grrrr

Beatle-y Ramblings

This is what happens when you subscribe to SiriusXM and only listen to The Beatles channel.

I have been doing a lot of reading on The Beatles again. I seriously need to stop this. It is bad for my health!

One thing that comes to mind with the demise of the Lennon/McCartney songwriting partnership is that Paul didn't try to find someone to write with until the 80s when he wrote with Elvis Costello. Then I start wondering again, why they didn't do more writing together.

If you listen to the collaborations on Flowers in the Dirt, Spike and Mighty Like a Rose, you'll hear a very Beatle-y vibe to those McCartney/MacManus tunes. They were good. Damn good! Some poppy and some dark. It really felt like Paul had found another foil in Elvis.

Listening to Paul's solo music and music with Wings you'll see, Paul's songwriting is often erratic, truthfully, John's was too, though he wasn't as prolific and then his life was cut short, so we really can't judge him.

Paul's music has always been pop and I think that's why, even though it can be obnoxious, Silly Love Songs is the perfect unapologetic tune. This is what he writes and what he's good at. He's also good at just plain silly, with songs like Uncle Albert and Ballroom Dancing. There's a big child lurking in Paul, I think.

George's writing is more consistent, but I think that's because, George seldom had writing partners. His music was him, warts and all. Sure he could be silly, but it was more dry humor when it comes to George's music, whereas Paul's songwriting was more simple

A Tale of a Child And Her Ravioli

I was heating up my can of ravioli for lunch today. Not the Chef, the Aldi version, and I got hit with a memory from a summer long gone.

I think I was 5 or 6 when our family vacation included a trip to Niagara Falls, NY.  Its the only time I've been to the falls. I've gone across the rainbow bridge one other time in my senior year of high school, but that summer was the only time I've seen the falls.

We were on the Canadian side, because that's really the best view of the falls, and we were going to have lunch or dinner or something. The places was absolutely beautiful. Even 40 years gone, I remember that. I knew this was a fancy special place.

We looked at the menu and I saw ravioli.

I'm a kid...so this is fabulous! Something I like that isn't a hot dog!

Then it comes.

And it isn't Chef-Boyardee.

Can you imagine how disappointed I was. It tasted nothing like what I was used to.

Needless to say, I didn't eat it, and mom and dad probably wanted to kill me because this was back in the day before microwaves were in everyone's motel rooms.

I have flashbacks even now of that day when I open a can, even though I love "real" ravioli much more these days.

Happy Mother's Day

 To all the mother's out there,  I wish you a good day.

My two ladies are both gone.

Mama, and grandmama, I love you so much. I've said it so many times.

If only there could be one more day. I would make sure you both knew how much love I have for you. Mama, I know you knew it...Grandma I know you did too, but I always feel bad that life kept me from you so much.

There is never ever enough time

Feeling Beatle-y

When I bought my little Kia, it came with a trial subscription to Sirius radio. I didn't know this until about 4 weeks ago when they started reminding me that it was about to expire.

Well that's when I discovered The Beatles channel.

ARGH!

I've been listening to it non-stop for all that time.

Which also means I was learning more about the guys than I did before. See when I was at the height of my Beatle-y fangirlishness, I didn't have the internet, so a lot of the guys lives were a mystery to me.

Not anymore.

So...all of them where manwhores, especially George. (sigh)

John was a manwhore and a jackass. The more I read about him and his treatment of Cyn and Julian makes me want to bitchslap him.

I always thought Jane Asher chose her career over Paul. hahahahaha...she came home and found him in bed with another woman. And he had little bits on the side up until he married Linda, which makes me wonder how she kept him on the straight and narrow.

I guess I learn something new every day and likely I'm not going to like it.

I Got Out Of PA

Ok, only for a few hours, but I finally got down to Triadelphia last night.

Seriously, the drive was murder thanks to rain, construction and some really shitty drivers...

But I got to a bookstore

I have to admit, gifty things wise, I could have spent loads of money there. I did buy my nephew a t-shirt, cos I seem to get him one once a month or so. I got an awesome beanie owl and a funko Dr. Seuss figure.

I also got to reenact my favorite scene from Despicable Me.

Then we went to Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen. BTW...so pissed off that Spasagna isn't on the menu anymore, but I had Key lime chicken and shrimp and a rather strawberry-y sangria

My favorite thing about this restaurant is the big in wall fish tank.

Yes, I am easily amused, but it was a good night, and I had fun...and my new little Kia got to go for a drive.

My Favorite Hobby

I think most of my friends remember how much I love photography. My cameras were always a huge part of my life, until I couldn't get out much because of my parents illnesses.

I did vow to start taking more pictures again.

Take a look at my flickr page to see some of the shots of my flower garden from yesterday. I was actually using my Kodak for awhile, rather than my phone. Not all of them are great but I think there are a couple shots of my blooms that look rather nice.

I did get one pretty awesome shot with my phone yesterday when I was walking to my mailbox at work.

I'm not sure what kind of tree this is, but its blossoms are gorgeous!

My Dog is Weird.

I just have to share this photo everywhere, because its so darn cute.

My little Scratty is so not right!

But she's also so sweet, at least to us  and she does the weirdest things, like bury herself under the blankets...or stealing one of Mokey's cans of Royal Canin so she can guard it all day long, growling at anyone that happens by.

Yup, she's weird. Very weird indeed.

So Angry I Can Spit

My lawn care guy up and quit on me.  I knew he was getting married, but I had spoken to him about a month ago and it seemed like things were on track.

Yesterday I sent him a text to see if we were on schedule for this week. I knew he had a 3 week honeymoon. (It must be freaking nice) He responded late, he wasn't doing grass cutting this year..and maybe my boss' son or a neighbor kid could do it.

WTF!

Seriously, I always liked this guy. He was kind and seemed smart. But no joke, this is not how you treat someone. He could have at least done one week.

My lawn looks like shit right now, because I was expecting it to be done this week and because of the monsoon like weather we were having.

Thankfully my brother in law will be able to do my lawn, because otherwise I'd be screwed.

Also this guy was the one that was going to look at my bathroom for me to see if doing the wall surround was a viable option..so yeah, I'm doubly screwed.

Further Proof That Walmart Is The Devil's Doing

I avoid Walmart as much as I possibly can, but there are some things I can't get anywhere else. My Pledge Revive It is one of them.

I usually make a trip there once or maybe twice a month, usually when I work a close shift at Lowes, because I like to be at Walmart during their off times.

Well...screw that.

I went last Sunday night after my shift ended for a grocery order.

It was peaceful there. I didn't have to recite my "Its not polite to kill people," mantra.

Until I went to check out.

They had speedy check outs for 12 items or less..the rest of us were stuck with Self Check Out.

Self CHECK OUT!!

Now pardon me if this sounds dumb, but wouldn't it make more sense to have 2 regular registers open, because self check out is much easier when you are buying fewer items not when you are buying your weekly grocery order.

To which I say ...fucking Walmart!

Whatever Happened to Family Sitcoms?

If you watch a lot of classic tv and hang around the channel's message boards/Facebook pages etc, you'll see a lot of people bemoaning the lack of good tv.

Well there is good tv out there, you just have to look for it, but really the family sitcom seems to be a thing of the past. The Middle was really the only show in recent years on the major networks that the whole family could watch. It was also good in the way that you didn't have a "smart mom" and "stupid dad" thing going on..or even better...the goofy looking dad and the "hot mom."  It kind of falls under the Leonard and Penny thing from Big Bang Theory. How does a goofy looking smart guy get a girl like Penny, even when THE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON.  Sorry, that whole dynamic has always bugged me, especially when Howard and Sheldon both end up with equally smart partners.

Early sitcoms had parents at least on equal footing or absent parents..because the dad's were always widowers. The family sitcom starting dying in the 90s, after The Cosby Show ended its run. Sure shows like Full House, Family Matters and of course Home Improvement lasted well into the 90s..and later Boy Meets World..but the amount of shows with family being a central figure...and without sex being the premise of almost every episode, has faded into obscurity, especially if you don't watch cable.

Its really a sad sorry shame that this type of programming can't make a comeback.

What's your favorite family sitcom?

Oh and as an aside, Disney really did the best sitcoms in recent years, like Good Luck Charlie (which my dad loved) and The Wizards of Waverly Place.

So Many Tears

I think the only thing anyone can talk about right now is the horrific fire at Notre Dame. I remember seeing the first reports yesterday and thinking, please, let them get it out quickly.

Then please let it be saved.

Then I saw the tweet that the POTUS made...and I grew angry, because that man has not a single once of compassion in his entire body. He should have a handler and that handler should take his phone and crush it into thousands of tiny pieces to save him, and the rest of the country from any further embarrassment his tweeting self can cause.

My next thoughts were for the French people..This is history that was being destroyed. History that survived many wars, but was felled by fire.

My tears are for them, because modern materials can't hold a candle to what was build 800 years ago. Its unbelievable.

Then I saw the people of Paris singing Ave Maria, and I had hope, hope for my faith, hope for humanity.

In grief and tragedy, hope will always find a way to shine.

I know I will never see Notre Dame in my life, but it is important to so many people and the world...So glad that in the light of day, though the destruction was vast...it wasn't complete.

I've Made Progress

I've accomplished quite a bit this weekend, and considering I've not got a single day off from here to the end of the month, that is an amazing thing.

I have my dining room floor (aka the floor from hell) looking more like a floor. Hopefully by Saturday night, it will be more tolerable, so I won't be ashamed to have people in my house on Easter Sunday.

I have everything needed for Easter dinner and my house is nicely decorated.

I donated extra throw blankets to a local animal rescue.

Heck I even got 2 things for me! I got a spare pair of shoes for work and a paperback! Woo to the hoo!

Oh and on the financial front, 2 bills are paid off. Now to really start focusing on paying down one more credit card, because this year there are things I need to get for the holidays, like a new Christmas tree and more importantly a new dining room table, unless there is someone out there that could work a miracle on my old one.

Busy Busy Busy

I've been work...

And I'll be working for the rest of the month.

But Wednesday when I had the time, I got some of my early spring flowers in. Aren't they adorable?

I'm Mad As Hell

I have always have a dysfunctional family. I don't mean that in a bad way, really, I just mean we all have messed up lives.

My mother did her best to hold us together and I became head chef of our little household when she couldn't.

I'm still head chef of the "Guy" family.

I've been working 2 jobs since Christmas. Its not fun, though I like most of the people I work with at job 2.

I'm tired all the time and I'm trying to keep up with as much as I can.

No one in my house does much to help.

I ask one to run the sweeper in their room, because one cat likes to leave crime scene fur marks on the carpet..does he do it?

Will he dust his room?

HELL NO.

I feed him. I get his allergy meds...etc...and he lives in my HOUSE. He is not my child.

He helps clean up after the animals...garbage and puts dishes away.

Anything else, is like pulling teeth.

Then there's my sister, who got herself into a SITUATION.

I feed her every night. Heck, I make sure there's peanut butter at least, in case she needs lunch. She's working 2 jobs until Sunday, when her better paying job starts.

Its only been 5 months since mom has been gone.  I don't want to alienate family, but I'm not anyone's mother, or caretaker.

I don't mind feeding people, when I have to cook.

I just wish cups weren't left on my counters that are dirty or on other furniture....or if just once someone would freaking do a dish besides me. Working 12.5 hours at least 4 days a week is not fun and yes, I'm complaining but only because NO ONE IS HELPING ME with some little things.

Daddy's Birthday

Yesterday would have been my daddy's 93rd birthday. It will be 5 years that he's been gone come November and though it is getting easier, these days hurt, especially since it is the first birthday of his without mommy too.

I think a lot about both of them.

So many of my memories involve food.

I made chicken fried rice yesterday and we talked about how he'd put "the red stuff" on it. The red stuff being the sweet and sour sauce. He loved that so much and when we got Chinese takeout it would go on just about anything, and he loved his sweet and sour chicken.

I can still tell you some of his favorite restaurant meals.

If you went to Cracker Barrel, he'd always get the sampler platter so he could get the ham and the chicken and dumplin's. If we went somewhere that had chicken pot pie, like Rock Bottom Brewery or Cheddars, he'd try to lick the plate clean.

Daddy enjoyed his food.

Oh and he loved the beer at Rock Bottom too.

I wish I could cook him one more meal that he'd enjoy...or take him to dinner one more time.

Its the one thing I've learned in the last 5 years. There's never ever enough time, and no matter what, no matter how you hate seeing someone you love sick, or how their illness takes away "them" NEVER EVER EVER stop telling them how much you love them, because one day you won't be able to do that, because they'll be gone.