Zumba Will Be The Death Of Me

Ok, I'm trying to get back into a shape other than a roundish pear. So I shelled out $60 for a Zumba set. I was ambitious the first day and tried a regular workout. Bad idea. I'm 41, fat and uncoordinated. So last night I decided to look through the dvds and found the basics disc that teaches you the moves for all the areas they work on in the other discs. It proved to me, I have no coordination and that I now understand why Richard Simmons did so well with his show. Why? The dancers on the Zumba videos are all teeny tiny, which doesn't make a fat girl feel too good and the moves are way more complicated then they make them out to be. I guess I'll be doing the Basic Steps Workout for a few weeks before I can build up to anything else. ~sigh~ I probably should have bought the discs for the Baby Boomer Set.

Its Been A Rough Week

I feel like my life is one big "woe is me."

Mom is home from the hospital. She's eating better now, but because those idjits at MVH decided to do all her PT in her hospital bed, she's not really able to stand, which means potty time isn't fun, as she's preferred a couch to a bed for the last 8 years. In fact, she's miserable in the hospital because she's in a bed.

Hopefully we'll have PT coming to the house soon, because I don't know how I'm going to deal with it otherwise.

I know we may be hitting a point again when things won't be getting better and frankly I'm scared to death of that. Losing my dad was hard enough, I'm not ready for anything to happen to mom.

Life Interruptus AGAIN

Mom is in the hospital again.

I had great plans of blogging on a more regular basis again.

No luck there.

A whole lot of craziness though.

Mom has an infection, possibly just a UTI or a kidney infection and she was dehydrated, possibly from her own trying to keep from retaining too much fluid and possibly from the infection.

We cant win for losing.

I need a vacation from my life.

TV Shows I'm Sick Of

Thanks to all the strange channels that air classic tv, I'm reminded that tv used to be funny and good. There's very little that I watch these days that are on the big 4 channels.

The Big Bang Theory used to be a favorite of mine, but when they started marrying everyone off the show started to lose its luster. In fact, if it weren't for one of the guest stars I probably wouldn't even watch the rest of the season, because I haven't found it funny in a very long time.

Modern Family was another show I used to adore, but now it isn't fun anymore. I still like most of the characters, but when Lily started growing up, she just became too obnoxious.

Fresh Off The Boat was cute in its first season, but it got old pretty fast.

I've totally given up on any and all cop dramas...Law and Order, Criminal Minds, CSI, & NCIS...as much as I love some of the characters on these shows, they've all overstayed their welcome.

I wish there would be some new show that showed some originality.

TV sucks.

Pennywise Goulash

I'm trying to revive the blog and I found a page with writing prompts, one of them is "A food that reminds you of your youth."

Pennywise Goulash was something my mom made all the time. It was made with stew meat, tomatoes, ketchup, onions, mushrooms and bow tie pasta. I think it was something my grandmother made before

I've made it many times since I started cooking but something wasn't the same.

It was the bow tie noodles. They aren't the same. When my mom made this dish when I was a little girl those bow ties were huge and round. Now they aren't even really called bow ties, they are called farfalle and they are getting smaller and smaller.

The dish is still fabulous and one of my favorites, but I still love it.

Here's the recipe for anyone interested

Pennywise Goulash

3/4 lb lean beef
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 med onion sliced
1 small can mushrooms
1/4 cup ketchup
1 1/2 cup canned tomatoes
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 package farfalle noodles


Cut meat in very small pieces (or use stew meat that's already cut)
Melt butter in skillet and brown meat slowly for 10 minutes
Add onion and brown 5 minutes longer.
Add remaining ingredients and simmer gently for 45 minutes
Serve over cooked noodles.

We prefer to mix the sauce and meat mixture with the noodles. My mom made her's with fresh tomatoes from the garden so this was usually a summer dis for our family.

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today would have been my Daddy's 90th birthday. He passed away Nov 16, 2014. It was one of the worst days of my life, because my daddy had become my life. I, along with my nephew, Raymond took care of him in his last year.  My mother's failing health made it impossible for her to be a primary caregiver.

But lets talk about my daddy.

He served in the Coast Guard during the second world war.

This is my parents official wedding photo

But this is my favorite picture

This is my mom and dad with my uncle Leonard and aunt Delores.

Now for some of my favorite pics of my daddy through the years

Classic TV Boyfriends

I've been watching a lot of classic tv, and I've developed a few tv crushes.

Sadly some of them are dead.

Thankfully others are still working.

Let's Talk About Body Shaming

I'm a fat girl. I wasn't always though. In my twenties I wore a size 2. Yup, you read that right, a 2.

Then something happened.

My grandmother died.

Then my dad got sick.

My life totally changed and with all the changes, my body changed too, and not in a good way.

I'm sick of people being nasty to fat chicks. I have to say, I admire the girls that can wear their bikinis and be comfortable in their own skins, because I am not.

If you are a fat chick like me, most of the time, you feel bad about your body. And you try hard to change.

I still make it to the gym, but with my responsibilities it isn't easy to get there with any regularity and it makes me feel bad.

It makes me feel bad that I can't wear the clothes that I want to wear.

I don't need anyone shaming my body anymore than I do myself.

I hate self righteous people that think that because I'm fat means I'm lazy. For the last 7 years I've been a caregiver for my parents, doing all the shopping, laundry etc that goes along with that. You can't be lazy and do that.

But do you know what?

You can be depressed.

So before you shame someone that is overweight, especially if they are lucky enough to feel comfortable with themselves then shut your pie hole, because you don't know their life situation.

The same goes for those girl's that you want to buy a cheeseburger.

I Need Motivation

This month has been not so fun, which is why I haven't been blogging here much.

I started out with the stomach flu.

Mom ended up in the hospital for a few days.

I just don't know what to say anymore.

I'm really trying hard to make low sodium meals for her that have flavor. I've found a few. Yesterday I made a Poor Man's Pepper Steak for dinner.  I had to buy lite Soy Sauce. Have you ever checked the sodium count on Soy Sauce. Oye to the vey! But this had lots of lovely veg and the gravy is 1 cup of water, 1/3 cup of soy and 2 tablespoons of flower.  I used minute steaks, but you can use cubed steaks. Anyone want to explain the difference in the two of these for me, except the price? I actually think the minute steaks taste better, and are more tender.

The other day I made Honey Dijon Pork Chops, which was totally easy and pretty tasty.

And lastly my only offering that wasn't low sodium, but I did change the tomato sauce to a no sodium variety; chicken cacciatore

So I guess, I've been cooking. Now if only I could be motivated to do something else.

If you want the recipes for any of these, just ask.

Musical Television

For the last few months I've been watching the musical 2 hours on Antennae TV on Sunday afternoons. The first hour is The Monkees and the second is The Partridge Family.

It really is amazing how very different these shows could be.

I've loved The Monkees for years and years and I find the show to be very enjoyable even now, but when aired next to The Partridge Family, it is easy to see how bad the show actually was.

The music is timeless, and the guys were decent actors, but the writing for The Monkees was terrible, awful even.

There was such potential if they really did a show about a band. If they would have even done a show that parodied A Hard Day's Night, which was supposed to be what the band was about, it could have been great.

I'm not saying that there weren't good episodes, because there were, especially in the second season. The Devil and Peter Tork and The Christmas Episode, but this was a show that could have been so much more, especially with the talent of the stars

Its really only been recently that I've taken a shine to The Partridge Family. I watched them a little bit when I was little, but not much. Seeing the two shows back to back, you can really see the differences and yet both shows have a lot of similarities.

The primary difference is that The Partridge Family didn't try to be a real band, it was David Cassidy.

This show only started a year or so after The Monkees ended, but this show was so much more developed. There are actual stories that make sense, rather than just silly ones.

Sure this show was based on The Cowsills, but they did so much and the show is entertaining, regardless of how you feel about the music.

Which show did you like better?

La La La La Feeling Blerghy

Last Friday I had a bout with a very nasty stomach bug that rendered me useless for most of the weekend.

I've been very cautious with what I eat, but now it seems my sinuses are going to help make sure I'm miserable.

I swear the only thing that doesn't make me want to wretch is jello.

I was trying Campbell's Soup In Hand, cos they were easy and they taste pretty good, but the sodium content is insane. 1 cup of soup has 960 mg of sodium, and I'm trying to watch my intake, because I have my mother's bad genes.

The worst part of not being able to eat much and all of this..I haven't lost a freaking pound.

There is something wrong with the world.

I have to say that I have now caught up on all the old Drew Carey episodes I missed back in the day, and probably all the old Night Court episodes too.

Why can't tv be funny like that anymore?

I Need To Vent

I am depressed.

My life started its downward spiral in 2008 when my grandmother passed away. After that it was dad's illness, and then his passing.

I've packed up the plantation and moved in the last year, still caring for my mother, who lives with me.

I haven't had a proper hair cut in months.

I don't wear makeup anymore, except for bb cream and sometimes lipstick.

I'm fat.

I don't like myself or my life.

My mother offers help financially while she can, but I don't want to take it, because I know at some point she won't be there, and I need to see what I can do on my own.

I'm terrified most of the time.

I used to have people to talk to, but they felt they couldn't share their problems with me, and now I don't want to share mine with them.

I'm lonely, miserable and frustrated.

I don't even feel like a human being anymore.

I feel like a lump.

Missing Davy

Its been 4 years since Davy Jones passed away.

I have to say that when I first read about his death, from a text from my nephew, I thought it was a terrible terrible mistake. A hoax or something. He was one of my first celebrity crushes. (Even though I was born long after The Monkees hey day)

The Monkees were my very first concert in 1986 at the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh. Both Davy and the Arena are now gone.

How sad is that?

Classic TV Is The Best

I have to say I'm getting old.

I find myself watching MeTV and Antenna TV all the time.

I think I watch shows like Newhart, MASH, Mama's Family, and Bewitched more than I do new tv. I think maybe its because new tv just isn't funny anymore.

I used to love The Big Bang Theory. Maybe it is because the show has been on forever, but I really don't get as many laughs anymore. 2 Broke Girls is just ridiculous. Mom tends to get depressing.

I like the Wednesday lineup with The Middle and The Goldbergs and to a lesser extent, Blackish. Modern Family is getting old for me too.

As for new shows, Superstore is actually a hoot.

But so few of these hold up to the classics.

Heck, I find myself enjoying The Partridge Family, when they play them after The Monkees.

Ah The Monkees, I have a huge rant there. That show could have gone for a long time, if they had writers worth their weight in salt, which they obviously didn't. The guys had talent and were all passably decent actors. They should have written a real show, rather than the nonsense that they did.

The second series had some stellar episodes, like The Devil and Peter Tork and The Christmas Episode oh and The Frodis Caper.

The producers should be ashamed that this show was as ridiculous as it was. (Funny but ridiculous)

I want good tv.

Oh and thanks to Decades, I want to see more of Love, American Style.

Stop Telling Me How To Live My Life

I am so sick of celebrities telling us how to have a wonderful, healthy life.

I saw Kate Hudson the other day promoting this book.

I think most women wouldn't mind looking like Kate, who for those not in the know, is Goldie Hawn's daughter. If you don't know who Goldie is...well then I feel very old.

But back to the case in point, she's telling us how to get moving, but as she does it she says one little thing that sets her apart.

She was athletic from the time she was a little girl.

That my dear Kate is why you are a skinny little thing. What about those of us that aren't? I haven't an athletic bone in my body. I can't dance and exercise is just not fun.

Healthy ways to love my body?

It would be nice if these women that can afford trainers and instructors and stylists could grasp the fact that most of us just can't sit back and meditate and run a couple of miles or even get to the gym and that compiled with the stresses of day to day life make it damn difficult to love our bodies, let alone do anything healthy.

Damn it, I  want to find ways to get dinner on the table in about 30 minutes, without consulting Rachael Ray, who makes an awful lot of hamburgers and pasta.

I am sick of actors and actresses selling their brand of snake oil.

On that note, why can't reading burn butt tons of calories?

Strangers When We Meet

When The Outside came out in 1995 I fell in love with this song. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before. I've probably even shared this video in the last month, but it really needs to be shown again.

It was actually on the Buddah Of Suburbia album too, but I didn't really fall for this song until The Outside came out. That was one of my favorite albums because of his work with The Pet Shop Boys. I highly recommend  this album to anyone, it was definitely one of his edgier albums from the last 30 years.

Every mix tape I made had this song on it. When it came on in the car, I sang it at the top of my lungs. There was something about this song that really spoke to me.

The live version is proof that Bowie had one of the most uniquely beautiful voices in rock music. Hell, his voice was more than beautiful, it was sexy.

My favorite line is "All your regards, ride roughshod over me."

It is so hard to believe Bowie is gone.

Are You Entitled?

Yes, I'm back to politics again.

Entitlements is a word that comes up a lot.

Its funny, but we do live in a society that feels like it is entitled to certain things.

I do believe that people are entitled to certain things, food, CLEAN WATER (I'm looking at you Flint, Michigan) and yes, health care oh and since those of us that work paid into it...our Social Security. That's not an entitlement though, we paid into it, we should get it. If they want to take it away, every citizen that works should get EVERY CENT we put into it back. I also lean towards the belief that people are entitled to an education and that education should not put the person in debt until they are ready to retire, but hey that's me.

But we are also changing as a society. We now think that everyone should have a smart phone, even when you can't afford one or the service that goes along with it. We feel we are entitled to vacations, and by that I mean traveling someplace, not just a few days off in the year. (After said vacation, the people will then bitch about not having enough money to pay their bills)

Most of us work hard for checks and we live paycheck to paycheck, but that doesn't mean that we deserve to go somewhere when you can't afford to or have something we can't afford in the long run.

We have so much now, but we've lost a lot of our sense of responsibility. Its too much gimmie gimmie gimmie, and that starts with children too.

I understand wanting something better for your children and your children's children, but there's a time when everyone needs to put on their big girl/boy pants and own up to their own situations.

I screwed up financially when I was younger. Big time. It took about 7 years to dig my way out of it. I learned the hard way. I had to say no to myself, and let's face it, yourself is the hardest person to say no to sometimes.

And on that note...and this totally disjointed post...there is very little we are really entitled to, without working for it, or trying to work for it.

Politics Makes Me Crazy

This election cycle proves to me how crazy America is. Last night's New Hampshire primary shows that the two parties are polar opposites now and there's no middle ground to be found, which means our govt is pretty much ineffective.

On one hand we have Bernie Sanders, whose ideas I like, even though there's no way most will come to pass.  On the other hand we have Donald Trump, who says what he thinks and most of his ideas won't come to pass either.

I'm less afraid of Sanders than I am of Trump and Cruz and Rubio..those are like the terror triplets of the GOP. I actually kind of like Kasich from Ohio, because he doesn't seem as bat shit insane as the rest of that party. I do wish they would all learn that the USA is a nation that was supposed to have been built on religious freedom.  God needs to stay in churches and out of our government. Oh and FYI, I have nothing against God, just people that use him to further their ideals even when they kind of go against most of what they profess to believe. Yeah dudes, Jesus would be a bleeding heart liberal...read that book...m'kay.

But I want to talk about Bernie's ideas. Free College...can't happen, but something should be done to change the fact that most people attending college will be paying for it until they retire. Its the reason why there will be fewer and fewer small practices for doctors and dentists as years go by, and more of those crazy Aspen Dental places, because people won't be able to afford to start up their own and pay off their loans.

Think about that.

Then I think about the people that say..I paid for my education yada yada yada, why should anyone else get a free ride?

What about your kids? Don't you want better for them? For them to have it easier and not start out with crushing debt?

That said, higher education needs to be made more affordable for everyone, be it college or training for blue collar jobs.

Next up...Super PACs etc

I think we all agree that corporations need to stop picking our leaders, right?

Nuff said.

Healthcare

Medicare for all is the only thing that is fair and will work. However, it ain't going to happen. And the one thing about The Affordable Health Care Act that needs to change is to not penalize someone for not having health insurance. If it comes down to eating and health care or paying bills and health care, we know what most people will choose, right?

And also..if you look at the policies that are affordable? The coverage SUCKS if you really get sick.

On that note I wish I could make this election period go away, cos I'm sick of everyone right now.

The 1975

I watched SNL on Saturday, which is a rare thing. I hate SNL. I haven't found much that was funny in it since the early 90s.

Do I sound old?

I guess I do.

I was basically watching to see Bernie Sanders and ended up watching the musical act, which was a band called The 1975.

Not a bad year. I can't fathom why they'd pick that year for a name, but hey, I've heard worse.

The song they played first was The Sound, which really had an 80s vibe. Maybe they should change their name to The 1985. I was actually reminded of Walk The Moon when I heard that song. Its very catchy. I predict it will be overplayed in a matter of days, even though the album that it is on won't be released for another few weeks.

It doesn't even have a video yet. Most clips I found were live from shows they've played in Europe. I have a feeling they are probably a bunch of pretentious twits though, considering the album is called....wait for it....I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It.

Regardless of what the band may or may not be like, I highly recommend checking out the song. I will apologize now, because it will probably worm its way into your ear, but look at it this way, its much better than having a Taylor Swift song there.

Anger, I Has It

I haven't had drama in my life in a long long while. I've had life issues, but not drama, but thanks to someone I've been friends with for 20 + years, I am getting drama.

I can't even speak with this person right now because I am so angry and I don't want to say anything to lose that person's friendship.

But I'm damn close to writing them out of my life, which would pretty much leave me with no friends that weren't from the internet. Not that it matters, because I haven't seen this friend since I moved into the new house back in July. I haven't talked to this friend much since then either, which is kind of sad.

However there is one thing you don't do, and that is give out my cell number.

Now mind you the person that attempted to call me today had my phone number.....like 10 years ago, but I highly doubt it was kept. If it was...then I am even more creeped out than I was when I thought my number was given out.

Seriously, this is why crazy cat ladies exist, because people are fucking nuts.

I have lost all faith I have in humanity.

I will die alone...and be a dotty old lady that scares the neighbor kids away with my meanness.