I Need To Rewire My Brain

Since my mom passed away I've become hyper vigilant about money.

I wish I could explain.

I always worry there won't be enough for when something goes wrong. (Because it always will.)

My credit cards seldom carry a balance, unless I have a financing option for a big ticket item.

I don't buy frivolous things...well except maybe skincare stuff, which I am addicted too.

The problem is when I want to buy something for me that's a larger ticket item, that isn't about my house, I feel guilty spending the money.

I really really want a new camera, but since I don't know what my house is going to cost me, above and beyond my payment from Allstate, I don't want to buy one, because I don't want debt.

Responsible?

Yes.

Sad?

Yes.

But somehow I have to figure out a way to let myself have some things that benefit just me and not the household in general.

I don't know how to get around this though.