Gardening Is Not What I Do Best

So the violas are about at the end of their life span

So I bought some gorgeous cone flowers at Lowes. Coneflowers are my new favorite flower, as my zinnias hate my guts this year.

I have a makeshift flower bed or two, because no one really taught me how to do anything like that.

So yeah, I'm cleaning the weeds, of which there are many.

and

MOSQUITOS

Yup

One little SOB bit me three times.

So I went in the house..and didn't come back out.

I left the planting to my brother in law and nephew.

Nope..won't make a gardener out of me, no matter how much I love flowers.

Randomosity Strikes Again

1. Heat does strange things to people. Working retail I found that the people that went out in the heat to get garden stuff were pleasant. I had the nicest conversations with them while working. Inside the store, was a total other story. Granted there were some really nice folks that came through my check out line, others not so much.


2. I'm obsessed with covered bridges. I love them. I must photograph them. I must spread love to each and every one I find.

3. Flowers are my new thing.

I <3 coneflowers="" most="" p="" the="" this="" year..="">

4. I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. I am in no way near the end of my grieving for my mother, though it is slowly creeping up to a year since she's been gone.  9 months on Wednesday actually and it still feels like yesterday. I still look for her and want to talk to her. The other day after I had been to a minute clinic, I went to call home, even though I was trying to call my sister and there in the middle of CVS I was ready to start crying.

There are places that I go that I really want to talk to her about. When I stepped out at Dobbin's Landing and saw Lake Erie for the first time in 9 years, I started to cry, because I wanted to share it with her because I know how much she loved that place.

5. 

Beatles Beatles and More Beatles

So I was reading about The Fabs again and someone was discussed George being bitter and angry.

I admit, George has been my favorite Beatle for a very long time, but there's more reason than that to jump to his defense in my book.

He deserved to be bitter

Sure the band did give a lot of time to the Lennon/McCartney songs, but George was talented and his songwriting was good and different from the other two.

When you listen to George talk about the Beatles, he is often dismissive and truthfully he does have a right to be. It was 10ish years of his life and he did do other things. So many of his songs that appeared on albums through Gone Troppo were written during the Beatle years and were dismissed by Paul and John.

Some of these songs were on All Things Must Pass and the one that really pisses me off on George's behalf was Not Guilty, which appeared on the 1979 album. Granted the song seems to be a big ole dig at John and Paul, but its brilliant and should have been on The White Album, especially as much of that album..erm..I'm probably going to hell for this...was miserable, especially the Lennon/McCartney stuff. And if you've never heard Sour Milk Sea...god...George was ripped off by those two and there was good reason to be mad, bitter, whatever.

Oh and while I'm at it...The Circles demo was damn amazing in its White Album demo form.

Suddenly I'm feeling less charitable to John and Paul...because of all the great George songs they buried...

Imagine if they would have been more encouraging...all the music we might have had.

Still trying to get it together

I'm trying so hard to learn meal planning and how to keep my house clean while working two jobs and never being home.

Let me tell you, it isn't easy.

I'm learning it isn't worth it to order out no matter how badly I don't want to cook. I think that's the toughest thing about budgeting. Everyone talks about how you can make "better than takeout" food at home, but they neglect the one reason most people order take out.

THEY DON'T WANT TO COOK

And when you get home around 10 o'clock most nights...cooking is something you really don't want to do.

Come to think of it, neither is cleaning, but I try hard.

Litter boxes get cleaned..the downstairs floor gets swept and vacuumed along with all the other little things I have to do.

My house may not be perfect but its not terrible.

I still wish I had more help with things though.

Weekend Photos

For those of you not on Facebook...

Some pictures from my Saturday out with my brother and his family

Family Feud

I don't mean the game show either.

These days my youngest nephew and I are not speaking, and saying that is an understatement.

It all started a few weeks ago.

At some point, I've not said hello in passing to said nephew's future mother in law.

In my life, I have met this woman a grand total of 3 maybe 4 times and 1 time I didn't say hello. I received a snarky text message saying that since she is going to be family soon, I should talk to her.

I was either coming or going from break!

For the love of God!

Enter the bridal shower, which I've really not wanted to go to. I hardly ever speak to the bride to be. In fact, haven't had much communication since Easter with her. I've always felt showers were more for the bride's family and friends..and I would be totally uncomfortable and out of place there.

Also it would require me losing a shift at work, which is usually a full 8 hrs. Now this isn't a greedy thing. This is a I need this to get food on the table and my credit card paid off.  Not to mention I've had to do repairs on my roof as well as getting my porch fixed. These things cost money. I am also feeding more than just me.

He doesn't understand this at all. Neither does said bride to be.

I had a screaming match about this a few weeks ago...where I word jumbled...I wouldn't be going to either wedding or shower if my mother were alive..so he could pretend she was still here..

All things came to a head when he conveniently forgot my birthday this week.

For me that was it.

I wasn't asking for a present. I was asking for an acknowledgement, as I know our relationship is strained at best now.

By July 3rd, I was fuming mad.

Which ended up with a text saying that I don't support his girlfriend. (Hey..I don't have to..she's your girlfriend not mine) And that I bashed him...UH...no I did not. Anything I posted on Facebook had no names mentioned...It was only guilt that made him angry. Kinda a Your So Vain...You Probably Think This Post Is About You Carly Simon sort of thing.

Which also ended up with a fight between him and his mom, which made me feel very guilty.

I'm done.

I love my nephew, but right now I don't like him very much at all and I'm pretty sure there is no way to fix things at this point.

They Say Its My Birthday...I'm Not Gonna Have A Good Time

Working 12.5 hrs today.

Nope..not a good way to spend my 45th b-day.

Not at all.

But yay my pom pom flower is blooming

And my mom's friend Eleanor got me these pretty blooms too

Now if I can get my free Starbucks today, I'll be happy.