It must be nice to go to a comic con for 3 days and not give a shit about the rest of the family, and while I enjoy my guilt presents, I would prefer to be able to get out in the world and do something rather than smile and say thank you for that autographed picture of Paul McGann.
Who is Paul McGann?
This is the bloke that played the 8th Doctor...and quite lovely he is.
So, I've been being a little bitter and cranky lately. Cos life sucks if you're me, right now,
I've been trying to dejunk, declutter, whatever you want to call it for ages.
Nothing is helping.
I have bags for goodwill. I've been trying to box some stuff up.
Nothing makes anything any better.
You really don't want to live in an old house that has had no renovations done to it. Our closets are less than 7 inches deep. You can barely hang anything in them. They were not made for wardrobes! Our kitchen has no cabinets, and the way our windows are set up, they make the idea of having them installed, damn near impossible.
Joy of joys!
And I'm left trying to make sense of it all.
Yet, I love our old house.
Crazy as it seems, it scares me to think that some day I'll have to move forward, and away from here, the place where every pet I've ever love lays resting in the garden or under the tall pine trees.
This is home, cluttered as it is, disorganized as it is, crazy as it is.
It isn't for those without patience. You need it in large quantities. I'm sad to say that I don't often have enough when it comes to my father and I love him dearly.
I think it takes more to take care of a loved one in your home than it does to consign them to a nursing home or other care facility.
You have to be on call, 24/7 for anything.
Today was a poopy day.
I realize its TMI but sometimes I wish he didn't go quite as often. (As in after every meal or as soon as I walk in the door from work)
You live on the edge, and relaxing just doesn't happen, EVER.
You feel guilty for wanting little things for yourself, like a trip to the bookstore or a relaxing meal.
I know I've said these things countless times before, but it is hard work, and it takes its toll. Plus help, even through hospice isn't enough, and other help, isn't worth it, especially when your loved one doesn't like strangers in the house.
My dad is not too keen on the aids or nurses that come in during the week at all.
At least tomorrow I will get a little bit of joy, as Doctor Who is on.
Well, I missed my twelve year bloggerversary last month.
I can't get to my computer much these days. I have a laptop, but my nephew has his plugged in in the only good outlet downstairs. That limits my computer time.
I think the time I spend on the computer is about the only connection I have with the outside world these days.
I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything, except watch Doctor Who, and I have to say, I'm feeling more and more bitter and angry with the world around me. And yet, I know if I could do it over, I would probably end up doing it the same way.
Does that make any sense at all?
I can't even concentrate on reading anymore. That makes me terribly sad.
Heck, its getting hard to concentrate on sleep.
And yet, dad's health isn't much changed.
He's still terminal, but he eats and sleeps and poops...oh does he poop.
His two medical conditions have given him more than a touch of dementia, which is really sad and hard to deal with.
He knows his age and his limitations, but he gets confused with his time periods.
Oh and if they diagnosed post traumatic stress after WWII, my dad definitely had/has it. He has horrible nightmares of being called back into the army, even though he was in the coast guard.
1989/? - Nov 2, 2006
Sleep well sweet prince.
1993 - Dec 16, 2006
Sleep well baby girl
199? - July 21, 2008
Sleep well baby, Itch.
1995 - August 27, 2009
Purrbee was a nice little dog. Sleep well sweet prince
1993 - Sept 20, 2009
Mutchka: The Great Mutchcoweeo, he was always looking for food for his piehole.
May 17, 2012 - June 9, 2013
Blinky Mucker: My sweet sweet binky mucker, I love the Blinky Mucker
April 2, 2006 - Aug 29, 2013
Bootsie: Bootsietardalopasaurus, the invisi-cat